Feel free to rate and/or roast my profile. As long as the roast is funny, I'm up for a good time.

Cheers!

I'll rate it 7 out of 10.

Not had. Take out the bit about beggars can't be choosers: it's very unflattering to someone who might be interested in you.

Hopefully you'll get a woman's opinion but I think you should have a photo with the camera much higher. An average standing woman would only get that view of you were over 7ft tall.

How short are you? if you are about woman high, you'd probably do well to say so, rather than let all women assume they will be taller.

Best wishes. Sorry for my lack of humour, I'm almost sleep-typing this.

Good Luck

Going to be upfront, I am hoping to meet a woman here.
Quite self-explanatory since this is a dating site. We don't expect you to be here to play pool, haha. Delete it. Redundant.

Never had a relationship before.
Why not rephrase that into something like "Never had... as I'm looking for this special once in a lifetime woman! Yes, I'm serious about love!"
That way you turn the "never had..." into a positive thing.

Admittedly I spent a lot of my adult life depressed but recent accomplishments have helped me pushed past that.
If you've really dealt with it, I'd rephrase it. Details can come when you've actually met someone.
Why not make it something like "I've had some difficulties in life, but I've worked through it. Learnt a lot from it and now the only way is up!"
Another is to leave it out altogether...

I've been often told because I'm short, unattractive and don't make enough money I can't find a woman.
Delete that! You're here to 'sell' yourself and this isn't the way to go about it. Who cares what "they" told you? Many like to knock someone else to make themselves feel good.

Welp, can't do much about my height but I am doing something about the latter two.
Better to make that height part into something positive and delete the rest.
Many women in the US are really short too, I suppose that's the same in CA.

This could be an alternative if you do want to keep it in: "Maybe I'm not the tallest guy but I promise you I will help you get that jar from the top shelf!"
That way you address it, but in a very light-hearted way and turning it into something attractive at the same time, highlighting a great asset --> being helpful and attentive.

Mind you, it's not in me to cast blame or hold a grudge. Everyone has standards and I respect them. Umm...
Get rid of that.

I've always wanted to join a dance class with someone or do hobbies as a pair but beggers can't be choosers, I suppose.
Change it!!! This is the easiest to turn into a great line!
"I've always wanted.... as a pair. Wouldn't it be great if we could do that together?"

Or...

"My dream girl loves to take dance classes with me, and do some hobbies together as well."

AND get your spelling right ---> BEGGARS not BEGGERS.

Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a good day.
Change in something like:
"If I've piqued your interest and I haven't found you yet, by all means send me a message.
Who knows, we could be dancing together real soon!"


All that says what you said but in a way more positive and attractive sense.
Anywho, good luck.

Wow, now that is some solid critique right there.

I do appreciate the time and effort you put into it.

And selling myself seems a little disingenuous. Don't know... Been burned before trying it. They think one thing, we go on a few dates and I never quite meet the criteria. Then again, standards are quite high these days.

Still, I will edit my profile thoroughly and methodically after I've done my morning routine.

Thanks again, I do appreciate the in depth criticism.

You can steal all the lines if you want, haha.

And damn, what a difference!
Now your profile is rocking!!
Wishing you good luck, and don't lose hope if it doesn't work out within a few weeks. These things happen when they happen for all of us :)
And whatever happened in the past... is in the past!
Everyone has had things happen in their love life that weren't so nice. Don't let that ruin the now and the future!
Every day is a new day, start making new memories even now before you met this great gal!

Crystal must really like you.

I don't need to change mine, as I know they only have to see my profile to make them wetter than the Titanic's decks! 🤣🤣🤣 Oh yes, Larsson's on tour󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Good stuff right here.