I live with two men. Whenever I have a female friend over, one of my male flatmates chases them. He gets their phone number off them because he is charming, and then pursues them.
I text them to say "What are you up to this weekend"? and boom, he has been there first and has made plans with them.
I have explained to all of them he is a ladies man and is talking to 12 women already, (whom think he is only talking to them), but they fall for his charm.
I feel disrespected. Am I wrong to feel this way?
I have decided to meet my new women friends outside of my home now.

That's a toughy, i would warn them ahead of time before they come over and maybe they'll see through it when it happens. If that doesn't work cause he's that good at the game then I'd choose to go elsewhere from the start.

I will only tell them when they ask, I do not want to slander him you know, he is my friend. But it does not seem to matter to my female friends. Lord, are women that desperate for love?

Well you have two friends, one who is a player and one who is not. Why is warning your friend who is not betraying the one who is? You said he's got twelve other girls. He's not gonna be hurting if she doesn't date him. If she hears your warning and then succumbs to his advances anyway that's on her. When she hears your warnings after the fact she may think you're jealous and are trying to warn her of after you see his interest in her.

It is not just one friend, it is all of them he pursues. I happen to make gorgeous looking friends.
I do not intervene when his male friends are here, but if my friends come over, even when it is a male friend, he plonks himself down and joins in. Several weekends ago, I visited a woman friend and stayed the night. He messaged her in the morning asking if I wanted a ride home. We ignored him. Then he turned up!!!
To me this is boundary crossing big time. I really enjoyed getting out of the house and having women time and we had plans for the day. But when he turned up, I gave up those plans and just went home.
I just don't understand some men.

Well that is a different story. When you first presented it it seemed you brought girlfriends home and he hit on them and they would choose him over you. Now it seems he's intruding into your life for his own personal gain. That isn't gonna work. The talk needs to be with him and your girlfriends instead of just your girlfriends. It will probably be awkward I'm sure but both sides need to know how you feel before any introductions are made.

Yes, it is going to be a very awkward conversation with him. I think I just needed to vent. Thank you for chatting with me.

You seed a flower plant, everyday took care of it, water's well and oneday the plant have beautiful flower's.. You never picked the flower's but someone else breaks the flower from plant and gifts to different narrating as it's his/her garden flower's

The best is outdoor meet

I agree. Meeting friends outside of home is my plan going forward.

NO CLEARLY DEFINED BOUNDARIES ????/. BOUNDARIES ARE ESSENTIAL TO

HAVING STRONG AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.....


MY SWEET HEART, MY GIRL FRIEND, MY LOVER, MY WIFE, MY FIANCE ARE

EXAMPLES OF BOUNDARIES....THEY ARE MEN, THEY ARE NOT BROKEN, MEN

DO WHAT THEY ARE ALLOWED TO DO.....ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS

YES.......WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US......

to be honest I think your reaction comes across as resentment and possessiveness . If your flatmate is single and your female friends are single why would you not want them to get to know each other ? I am sure you have other friends who are in relationships . Does that make them any less your friend because their focus is not solely on you as a priority ? I guess it comes down to your expectation of friendship. Perhaps widen your social circle so that you other friends to rely on when you want to make plans .

You've posted about this before, or very similar, so this situation is causing you stress.
I think it's very inappropriate of this man to meddle in your private life.
You say you don't want to hurt him as he's your friend. Is he? He doesn't treat you with the same regards and respect.
If a roommate messed with my private life like that time and again I'd want him out.
It's ridiculous for you to meet your friends out of your home because of him. You're a grown woman, you shouldn't have to deal with this disrespectful kindergarten behaviour anymore.

I take it this living situation is about money, but then there will be others looking for a space to live. Out with this dude and find another roommate.
Provided it's your home and you can do that. Otherwise I'd find somewhere else to live myself.

Following up on mutual attraction is not desperate . Perhaps they believe in giving someone new the benefit of doubt and prefer to make up their own mind .

THE POINT I AM MAKING IS THAT YOUR NOT SEEING YOUR PART...ARE THESE

FAVORITE FEELINGS YOUR HAVING ? IS THERE A BELIEF ABOUT YOUR

SELF OR OTHERS THAT IS GETTING VALIDATED ?????......

WHEN WE DO THE SAME THING OVER AND

OVER EXPECT A DIFFERENT RESULT THEN WE NEED TO CHANGE WHAT WE ARE

DOING....ITS OBVIOUS YOUR FEELING LIKE A VICTIM.....IT'S ABOUT

CHOICES WE MAKE.....YOU KNOW MEN WILL BE MEN, LIVING WITH TWO IS A

SETUP FOR LOTS OF DRAMA AND I BELIEVE A PART OF YOU KNOWS THAT....

I also have female friends, even though they're with 12 men, they still bother my friends.

what should I do ?

1. If they are really your good friends then why they don't listen to you, what you are trying to info them about those mates, even if they carry on.. You continue being good to them or leave them to their decision. you don't need to feel disrespect you actually a well wisher.

2. Why don't try all the same friends all together in the house when the charms is available..

3. You didn't thought while making friends then why to decide ahead where to meet them. what you feel is good just go on an stay cool.

Decision will be yours finally.
You don't need anyone's vision

All The Best

Go back to bed since you're that tired seems like a good idea?

I haven't had the time to read through everyone's reply, but my guess is they don't care. He's charming them, they like it, and that's that and they just go with it.

You have the right to feel this way. He is obnoxious. I wouldn't call him a friend. You should just refer to him as your flatmate.

Have the awkward talk, and definitely set some boundaries. Why are you sooo considerate of his feelings when he obviously doesn't give a heck about yours.

i just admire your daring , and candid attitude towards life ....and the fact that you are living with two men !!! dang ! i tried my darnest to live with one woman ... and just could not handle it .... I salute you !!!
if you were closer hmmmm! ! what would be the possibilities