Larsi's post about not responding made me think about this topic.

If you go on a first date, and the other person does not want to see you again afterward, how would you prefer they let you know?


1. Tell you in person at the end of the date specifically why they are not interested?
2. Tell you in a message/text specifically why they are not interested?
3. Tell you in person at the end of the date a general "we are not compatible" reason?
4. Tell you in a message/text a general "we are not compatible" reason?
5. They stop all contact and you get the hint on your own?

1. Doesn't have to be specific though.

Really? It's interesting how different people's preferences are. I would choose 4. I do not need to know what the person doesn't like about me. And definitely don't tell me while we are still on the date!

There were times years ago when I was young, dating, maybe I was having an "off" day, and I knew I flopped, maybe made a gal uncomfortable, I understood it if she didn't reply.


For some, any further contact might arouse concern that the mere fact they're contacting is construed as a partial "yes", or the door's still open..

Dating is a tedious thing, you have to be ready to confront rejection, and more importantly, the "fear" of rejection.

i have been rejected so many times , so much so , fear does not resonate with me .. i am not concerned if they wanna leave , but I get confused when they wanna stay !!!
i am up front so if I dont feel a tug at my heart , even though the date went well , i let them know at the end if the date , that its not gonna work .... and normally , it appears mutual ....

There is also "Let's be friends."
I think that is a kind way to put it.

"Well you've been very nice, I've enjoyed the company, bye".

6. A simple meet in person (coffee or ice cream) where we talk about our date and what we have learned about each other.

I am very picky about the women I can accept into my life.
9 times of 10, I am the one ending the relationship.
I do not focus on the bad.
I encourage them to continue looking because it just doesn't work for us.
I focus on their good points and try to allow them to feel empowered within themselves. Most of the time, it works well and we part as friends.
There have been some women who can't let go but once I end it, their efforts are in vain. Usually, they get the point when I no longer respond to them.

The longer the relationship them more time I give them during the breakup.
I always respect them as a person and let them know they have qualities I found favorable so they are not all bad, just not right for me.
I never attack their dignity.
I also do not break up unless I'm sure so once we have that talk, it is the end, period.

Hello, Bonnie wants to know how you prefer YOUR DATE rejects you.

When The Heart Breaks into Two , then the Only Option is to erase all possible memories of them.

I like to just move.

First date with whom i was..

who was she?
Zeina, Rubecca, Mona, Sandra, Jenni..... forget it...
Exit..

Okay, but what if she doesn't want to out again? How would you prefer to be told? In person at the end of the date? Same as you would do?

I've been there!

Thanks, Mike! :)

I've not been in that situation so far. After one date we both agreed we didn't have 'it' at the end of the date and friendly parted ways.
Other times I was always the one that didn't want another date.

But I think I'd prefer him to tell me, but not specifics. I don't need to know what he doesn't like, that isn't important anyway but can be painful. Knowing he's not feeling it is good enough.
And him telling in a gentle, respectful way would be appreciated. I always make an effort to do the same. No need to hurt or offend someone you met and damage him for the next woman that comes along.
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Yep, fear of rejection is real! No doubt! Probably why I prefer NOT to be with a person when they tell me they did not feel a connection.

Hi Ladywind! You're right, that is a kind way to put it.

I prefer he tell me that he's smitten with me and can't wait to see me again.

Lol, I'd rather not focus on how I'd like a guy to tell me he's not interested, especially when I'll be meeting someone for the first time in three and a half weeks.

But in the remote chance that it might happen, I'd like to think my intuition is active and his as well, and we'll both know it within a few minutes, then can continue to enjoy the day as friends.

I am glad, I inspired you

Anyway, I would tell the other person, if I wasn't interested in meeting again or in a relationship. Without justifying myself, but being honest to the other person.