Meeting up In Person, after long time flirtation online
hurts to find out, No chemistry.

You need to except No Match. Happens to many women.
Remember best dates are those where men have no
surprises when you're Close up.

I always go into first meets, expecting NOTHING.

If good comes of a first meet, it's a bonus.

Indeed. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, expect nothing

Many meet for a good match not just
for coffee or tea.
Especially off any dating site! Imo

I also do my best to not have any expectations otherwise you get disappointed all the time and lose your desire to date.
Thinking you're going to meet your future partner, the love of your dreams, is a lot of weight.
So I try to keep it simpler, I'm going to meet a man and we chat over cappuccinos. If it feels good we will get another date, if not, we won't.
Since I do that things go much better.

I've had serveral nice dates in past but not
a good match for me. Two of the guys got married
about a year after we met in person.

I meet Online with men who are looking for a serious
future relationship.

What Kind of surprises do you mean toody ????

When a woman misrepresents who she really is online.

surely that is not gender specific ???

I have had a lot of fake male profiles mainly from 14foot men🤣🤣

14foot men? What do you mean?

I was wondering what she was referring to!

Chemistry is the easiest thing to foster.
You just have to get over yourself and be willing to help the other person.

IMO/IME a lot of people show up to dates with a crappy mindset, or a crappy mindset with a facade of openness.


I am not sure if you really mean "except" or "accept" or "expect."

In any case, if you do any of those I think you're setting yourself up for failure.

The whole "no expectations!" is a terrible ideology/mindset IMO.
Not only because it's impossible for people to not form expectations (you dress up for a date? Concern yourself in any way with your appearance whether it's dressing up, or staying in stained sweats to posture? That's based on expectations, of being judged, of needing to dress up or be accepted as is), but the attempt to remove expectations forces behavior to counter both positive and negative mindsets.

You end up withdrawing into yourself and become more of an observer of a date rather than a participant.

IMO/IME when people decry "no expectations!" it just tells me they're mentally lazy, lack honest self analysis ability, and/or controlled by fear.
They don't want to figure out what expectations they've actually formed, avoiding responsibility for them, and what having those expectations says about them.

The issue isn't having expectations, it's having unrealistic expectations.

Not only that, but when you figure out you have expectations, there's a need or realization that the other person is going to have expectations.
If people can convince themselves they have "no expectations!" then they can simply transfer to the other person the idea that the other person "shouldn't" have any expectations.
Kind of like hiding under the blanket. If you can't see the monsters, then they can't see you.

"No expectations!" is a childish mindset, IMO.


IMO/IME best dates are those where expectations are realistic, people are mentally comfortable (they're accepted the expectations they have and use them appropriately), and truly honest (truly meaning with their thoughts and feelings, not open with life stories or problems) which makes them more adaptive to situations and interactions.


Other than that IMO/IME people go through a similar learning curve with online dating. Doesn't matter what you tell them, it's all SSDD.
It's funny to read the same "advice," and the same complaints and theories on "should," that have been around for 30 years of internet "dating" and how nothing has really changed.

Some guy probably lied about his weenis.

Nice!!! Good post

True

romance just a word , but feeling behind it , no man says that i ama lovly boy or man bcuz it's not improvise itself, they says i am romantic person, RIDWAN "He is teaching what he learnt from others "

They have their height settings at 7 ft+/ 214 cm
I have had a few message me that claimed they were less than 5 ft/ 157 cm
Nope..sorry.

You know, a really tall guy who'd immediately be signed up by the NBA.