Bouncing off of celebs because they're easy to relate to as you see them a lot.
Many of these get divorced from their first spouse, and then marry again.
Now what I often notice -and wonder if I'm the only one who sees this- that with the 2nd partner you miss something. Usually the woman is totally happy, beaming, in love, but the man... if you compare him to how he looked with his first wife... helluva difference! With the first one he was radiant, had that glow, and clearly was very proud of his woman.
This is missing with the 2nd.
Bruce Willis is a good example of this. He even went as far as marrying a copy of the first... I always feel sorry for his new wife, even though they've been together for quite some time and have kids together. He looks okay, but nowhere near has this glow and pride that he had with Demi.

Now that's one example, but you see it a lot, one of the very few exceptions is Pierce Brosnan. That man totally truly LOVES his woman! He's completely nuts about her.

Reason I'm mentioning this is... why do men not get over an ex? You see that in 'normal' life as well, with non-celebs. I've come across it myself with now ex partners, and you can spot it here from almost every guy.
I can never understand how women do manage to get over an ex, even though she loved him for years, even when he was the one who dumped her, but men cannot do this?

And why do these women who have healed from the ex get involved with a man who doesn't love her like he did his ex and likely never will?

Weird chit...

Exes are exes for a reason.

Everybody is different in how they feel love.
You are making a generalization.
Personally, while I am over my X, I did feel strong love for her at one time and it was shaped by years of interactions with her and our children.
The love I felt for her was different than the love I've felt for others.
Not necessarily better or worse, just different.

What is different is the celebrity status of what you see in public displays.
Celebs are personifications for the public. The same can be said about many people here, personifications for public view.

Taking Bruce Willis as an example, its impossible to classify his love for his wives based on a public personification. You would need to actually visit his home and live there for a bit to understand how he feels for his wife. What you see may not be what is.

People tend to build walls.
You can't know if someone is actually who and what they are until you experience them unscripted and natural. It doesn't matter if it is a public appearance of a celebrity or an official date with someone you met online.

One of the main problems with marriage is marrying someone based on their public personification. They always turn out to be someone you were not expecting. Unscripted, personal interaction is vital to making a wise choice.
How many time have we read about or heard someone say they made a mistake marrying that person.

Perhaps Bruce's love for Demi was only a projection to advance his public image and now, being much older and less of a celebrity, he has no reason to project that type of public image. Perhaps he never actually loved Demi at all but loves his current wife and family more than anything and feels there is no need to project a personification to the public because he just doesn't care about his image as much as he did when he was making top-line movies?

I get your point.
Thing is, if you look at someone's face, see what's in their eyes... you can not fake that. And that's what I'm basing my story on.
Maybe not everyone can do that, I can read energy and photos, but this is so basic that I figured everyone could.
I do gather for instance that everyone can tell someone is sad or happy or awkward by looking at their face and their eyes. Someone can smile, you cannot hide that stuff and keep it from the eyes.

Anywho... doesn't matter, just some observations and contemplation.

Maybe because there was one or two things they really liked/ loved about the ex....but the rest...well..that's why they made the decision to make them the ex.
(or maybe that decision was "forced" on them...maybe it was HER doing to get rid of him, and he wasn't happy with that...and would really still like to be with her)

I am over *my* ex....
By talking about my lived experience with him, that doesn't mean anything other than "here's what i lived"...nothing more, nothing less..
Hell, if we can't talk about past experiences without someone thinking "oh, you'd really rather be with them, eh?"..that's pretty sad...as I *learned* from my ex what I don't want and will not accept...and no way in *hell* would I want to be with him again.

True dat.
Having lived in Nashville for decades, and being around music people all my adult life...I saw that most of the time, the "image" people put out in public is what their record companies want them to....not how they really are..
One guy in particular I've known since I was 16 (we've not talked in decades)..
His "image"/ public face is not how he is on real life...



Yep.
See my reply above.

Perhaps you misunderstood?
I wasn't dismissing your observations or trying to discredit you.
Merely offering my own opinion for consideration on the subject at hand.

Who expected Robin Williams to commit suicide?

Inner feelings are hidden, quite frequently.
If the eyes always give you away there would not be so many good liars out there. Politicians would be a thing of the past. LOL

When I was battling depression, people couldn't tell.
I could feign excitement in my eyes when I wanted.
I only let the wall down when I was alone, even my family had no clue.
It wasn't till it got beyond my control to hide that others started to suspect things were not as good with me as I let on.

We have all seen couples in terrible marriages who, for public display, put on a personification of happiness. Then, when the divorce comes out everyone is all "WOW, I had no idea".

I suspect Bruce Willis has had some kind of health crisis. He played some extreme roles in his youth and perhaps that physical toll is catching up with him. You may be seeing his eyes revealing pain or illness which can make it look like something else. Sometimes I get tears in my eyes from the pain, I'm not sad, it freaking hurts. Someone who doesn't know me might assume I am sad, depressed and crying about it. My GF knows. My children know. You wouldn't.

The problem with assumptions is they are usually wrong. Nothing beats unscripted real life interaction.
Celebrity public appearances are personifications.
The anonymity of online interactions are also personifications.
The scripted "date" experience is a personification.
The phone or video chat is an incomplete picture or at worse, a ruse.

The only, only actual assessment you can make of another person is experiencing them as they are in unscripted interaction over time.
At least that is the wisdom I have learned in 59 years of experiencing other people.

Indeed they are!

Again, I get your point, but again, I do not agree.
I just take it you can't read energy or pick up on it.
My mom's got it too. I remember when watching Crocodile Dundee in 1986. Paul Hogan playing a couple in the end with Linda. My mum said, "Oh, they're really in love!"
Then, me still a lot younger and less experienced and wise, raised my eyebrows. But.. shortly after that we learnt they'd gotten together in real life! I believe he even divorced his then wife in order to be with Linda and they stayed together for some 24 years.
And that's from looking at 2 people in a movie acting to be in love... I've asked my mum more often about people, showing her a photo of them, asking "Are they truly in love or not?" My mum can tell.

It's the same on dating sites. For me a reason to not often want to go over a dating site profiles. All this misery and 'I have lost interest in life" that you can just feel and see in their eyes...

You do not need live interaction to know what you're dealing with. Hell, I can even do a reading for someone without having seen a photo and without even knowing their real name, just a nickname suffices.
I don't do that unless someone asks and I feel called, which is rare.

But this is digressing from what I actually had wanted to know...

If that is so, then why hook up with another woman? Why not heal over time?
Whether you were the one who got dumped or did the dumping (No pun intended) doesn't matter. I've been in both positions and the pain you go through is always horrible. Maybe even worse when YOU are the one to make the decision. To me that was hell on Earth.
It's very short-sighted to think that the one who ends things is partying about that. You do not break up for nothing! I know all about that as I've been there.

Question remains in both scenarios: why not get over it? Why can't they ever get equally happy again with another partner?
It's natural to let go and not drag an old skeleton around and to start anew, yet so many men (mostly men) can't.

It reveals itself on dating sites with for instance most men not ever wanting to get married again, others not wanting to move in together with someone again. They're afraid to lose their freedom or end up having to provide for the woman and so on.
In other words: they're still hurting and haven't healed. Many have been divorced for 10-24 years and are still in that same place?

I find that odd.

Men have huge Egos. Well many do!

They cannot get over a woman hurting them, especially when she was their first love.

Women oftentimes take men on the rebound, just to have a Man. Sad !!

I'm friends with a widower man few yrs younger than myself for a year now.

He wants to get closer, like dating but I'm not interested in him other than friends Without benefits. We talk on the phone and went out Before the pandemic in March.

Widower men are usually very Nice though.

Widower men sometimes try to get another woman like who they had before.
I'm not interested in taking someone's place.


Men who are divorced are usually mean spirited! Unhappy!

Men who Never been married over 50. Usually don't want marriage with anyone.They like to play with women.


Speaking from experience!

That's true

A lot of truth in what you say for sure! And could indeed be ego. The male ego is quite the pain up the rear end, haha.
Even the one man I've known who'd been through a lot of personal growth claimed he still loved his ex-wife and that it'd always remain that way.
What kind of pathetic statement is that to latch on to? As if that made him more masculine or something while he had been divorced from her for 12 yrs (!!!!) and had had 5 relationship and a number of flings after that.
Insane, and what a waste of time and of your life!

I'm not surprised, there are several Divorced men like that in the USA !




I've heard several Women's stories!

I find it funny how assumptions and generalizations are thrown around like they mean something.

I do realize you (crystal) have high empathy and you hone it constantly.
Kudos to you if that is what you prefer.

I usually find that the actual real 'in-my-face' people can usually be taken at face value. I don't focus on 'reading' them.

The spontaneous, unscripted natural interaction tells me all I need to know.
I don't attempt to read strangers because I have nothing personally vested.

When I was looking for my current GF it wasn't till we actually met face-to-face and interacted unscripted that I realized we had much in common.
From interacting with her in natural unscripted life, I can tell if she is happy or sad or any other sensation she demonstrates, Its not that mystical.

In you calling, you deal with strangers. You probably pick up on things most of us dismiss. Thing is (concerning celebs) is that you couldn't possibly know how someone feels for their mate or the inner workings of their minds by such a limited view. You can study the available information and make some predictions and assumptions which may be right if you cock yer head in a certain way but people are complex.

This is not an argument or attack, merely my opinion in a discussion on the topic you initiated. Just because it seems I might disagree with your ideas doesn't mean I fully do. It also doesn't mean I fully agree either.
If you knew me you would know I seldomly assume I'm always right and I choose to offer ideas and suggestions on topics I discuss, not commands and ultimatums. I'm fully able to accept others ideas and opinions without hostility.

Its also important to note that some people wear their feelings out in the open. They transmit their feelings in their demeanor which is often reflected in their eyes.
Its important to note that professional actors practice looking the part, playing the part. Most of that is 'getting into character' and involves much time in front of a mirror practicing the attitudes their eyes set for the audience.
For someone who is called upon to portray such a realistic charade, its a simple thing to hide your real feelings.
Example: Robin Williams

Why do Women except a Man as he is, then look for another one, when he's not really into her?

As well as everyone is different with commitment and what it means to them

Many women fall for the wrong man! He doesn't love her and never will.

He's stuck on past loves!

It takes a special man for me to fall for ! I'm picky!

I think your first love is the biggest deal.
Once you move on from that (if you can) you always have
that wee suspicion that things again will go that way.

How can you give it all when you have already given some away?

What do you mean by the first love? The first one you have a relationship with, if so does that include puppy teenage love? (One of my first loves was John Travolta, hihi. And yes, I still have a weak spot for him )
Or is 'the first love' the first love that was felt at a different level because you have grown and are able to now love in a deeper way, like when you're 40-50s etc?

For me my first love as in first relationship was nowhere near as deep and intense a love as my last one when I was 50.
And I don't think that I loved one man more than the other because one was a better fit. It's just that when younger you don't love the same way because you're still a snotface and understand nothing much about life, the universe and everything.
In short, when older and wiser love is far more mature and in that sense felt much deeper. I could not open myself up then like I can now because I'm more confident and wiser. Makes a helluva difference in love...

So I guess I disagree with you. I also don't see what you give away in a sense that it's lost? Each relationship is enriching, even the bad once.
This may be a difference between men & women, dunno.