...but it seems to me that men and women react to messages about potential dating in two different ways.

Men approach them like a job interview: Does the applicant fit the needs of the company?

Women approach them like a granting agency: What can I find wrong with the applicant so I can remove them for the process?

Thoughts?

All depends on life experiences and people's past i think...

In a way I agree. I seem to be the one interrogated tho. I find they are mostly talking to more than one, so they really don't answer the questions unless I ask mutable times.

For me it seems to be the way men and women approach dating (seriously I could be talking out of my a** here).

Men seem to check boxes - Is she... Check Does she like...Check

Whereas women seem to look for problems - Oh, he does that...Hm, Well, he said that...Hm

It may not be positive view versus a negative view, it could just be that women have a need to be more cautious.

I think everyone is different. I look for mental stimulation, humour and to see if they are creative and kind.
There are no rules....it either flows or not.

How about men approach women like this?... Hey pretty do you like *****? is that appropriate interview or not?

No "man" does that, only children pretending to be men.

I think both genders approach dating based on expectation fulfilment.

We decide on the type of person we want then look for those who fill those expectations.

The problem with this is manifold.
Sometimes, we really don't know what it is we actually want, till we find it.
Sometimes when we do find someone as we expected them to be, its a ruse because your expectations have been surmised by your target.
Sometimes when we find someone we expect, it wasn't who we really needed or actually wanted but a fleeting desire.

I've found if I don't see others as I expect them to be, but as they actually are, my interactions with them are more stable and longer lasting.
There are less dissappointments.
Fewer conflicts.
Its much easier to see someone as they are than to try to fit them into your predesigned box of who you think they should be.
More often than not, they just won't fit no matter how you try to bend them.

Oh I have a checklist. Ten things on it, and if she hits 8 out of 10 or more, then its a go.

I think it's more the typical male and female way of doing things: logical & rational for males and from feelings & emotions for women.
How pleasant they are in implementing this depends on their experiences so far in relationships & dating.

*I* do it like a job interview.

I ask specific things, because dudes are too lazy to read the profile....so, i have to ask when they message me if any of my "nopes" apply to them..
Most of the time, there's more than one deal breaker..which, had they *read* the damn thing, they should have had Gods good sense not to message me in the first place...

Yanno, that's a shame they don't read it, because reading a profile (with the exception of mine) is fairly easy, and if one reads it, they can efficiently proceed, because they actually know about some of your "likes" and can start up an INTELLIGENT conversation.

Or search elsewhere, as compatibility is not cohesive. Instead, they waste their time AND yours....

I guess MOST guys like doing it the hard way. It makes the other 20% look bad.

Something to watch out for, is how lots of people do exactly the same thing, but use different tricks to accomplish it.

Most people have "checklists" which they try to fill in, at least those who are directly "on the prowl." However, not all of them are direct in how they go about sorting things out, so it can appear that they are looking (for example) for character rather than looks alone, while actually, they are using "character tests" as a way to more intent;y inspect physicalities.

How would trying to ascertain common interests have anything to do with physicalities?

I don't know about anyone else really. I feel both things kind of mesh for me. I read to see if we would be compatible, I move on if/when I discover things that would make us NOT compatible (or at least not as likely) as it helps narrow it down when there are so many profiles or messages.

Ahh OK, Thanks! Nice to Know

Men think woman are beautiful and they are suppose to.
So if a guy tells ya your "pretty" U should take it as a compliment
and not as derogatory. If theres a better way for us guys to message you,
then let us know.
Thanks Beautiful

Wow, You people are krazy defensive with a kapitol K.
most people here are looking for friendship and Love, thats a good thing!!!
I guess your worried if men want sex in a relationship. If ya dont want a relationship
or sex then your on the wrong website

Just one of a myriad of sneaky things that have been built into basic dating since forever.

In some areas, for example, young eager daters will invite someone to try something like, oh, say, to play beach volleyball. Nominally about shared interest in sports, while actually providing an extended opportunity to inspect the other person in a bathing outfit, posturing in all sorts of ways.

People have been known to arrange dates at fancy venues (museum presentation dinner kind of stuff), nominally to check for shared interest in things historical, but actually to check whether or not they know how to, and have the wherewithal to show up in formal wear.