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| Topic: I could be wrong... | |
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I think the environment has a lot to do with it . Because mingle is free and easy to join there are people using the site that have a less than appropriate agenda . Unsure if that applies to other dating sites ??? Caution perhaps is a bigger influence When it comes to the selection process and how we interact online . . . I think that is applicable to any gender. Context and reason for using the site is also likely a factor . Some are just here to participate in the forums and not interested in looking for someone to date ...in other words they may have little need to interview or interrogate
 I think it is natural to ask lots of questions , to have preferences or a predetermined list of characteristics . Some are less rigid in how they approach this and again that is applicable to all genders .
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Something to watch out for, is how lots of people do exactly the same thing, but use different tricks to accomplish it. Most people have "checklists" which they try to fill in, at least those who are directly "on the prowl." However, not all of them are direct in how they go about sorting things out, so it can appear that they are looking (for example) for character rather than looks alone, while actually, they are using "character tests" as a way to more intent;y inspect physicalities. How would trying to ascertain common interests have anything to do with physicalities? Just one of a myriad of sneaky things that have been built into basic dating since forever. In some areas, for example, young eager daters will invite someone to try something like, oh, say, to play beach volleyball. Nominally about shared interest in sports, while actually providing an extended opportunity to inspect the other person in a bathing outfit, posturing in all sorts of ways. People have been known to arrange dates at fancy venues (museum presentation dinner kind of stuff), nominally to check for shared interest in things historical, but actually to check whether or not they know how to, and have the wherewithal to show up in formal wear. That sounds a bit like game playing.. I've never done anything like tat, and if I found out someone did that to *me*..even if i passed their bullsh*t "test"...it be an automatic "See ya, bye....." I have no interest in screwy game players. |
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...but it seems to me that men and women react to messages about potential dating in two different ways. Men approach them like a job interview: Does the applicant fit the needs of the company? Women approach them like a granting agency: What can I find wrong with the applicant so I can remove them for the process? Thoughts? I use the interview approach to weed out the ones that aren't what I'm looking for. That has nothing to do with faults. You really think all women look for faults?? Or do you also think men never do that?? |
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