My girlfriend , now my ex, still socializing with an ex even though she knew I did not like that, was why I ended a beautiful 4 year relationship...
did I do the right thing is my question???

Not enough information.

let me rephrase that: So your ex is Socializing with her ex although she knows you don't like him? Why would you give a heck since you broke up with her?

I agree with cat, not enough information. Though it sounds like you're still emotionally attached to her and giving it second thoughts.

Did you know she was socializing with him before your relationship with her began? What was/is the extent of their socializing, and relationship... do they have children together? If you knew about it before getting together with her, were you honest in the beginning about not liking that she was still socializing with her ex, or did you pretend it was okay in hopes of getting her to stop because she now had you?

And more importantly... do you feel you did the right thing?

If you didn't like that to the point you don't want to be involved with a partner who's still in touch with her ex, yes, you made the right decision.
We all have our boundaries of what is acceptable to us. Least she could've done is tell you hers and what the contact did or did not entail. Maybe she did do that, maybe she simply has different boundaries.

Were you seeing other women yourself, as friends?
My last husband was jealous/insecure about one of my ex boyfriends, so I stopped seeing him, even though we were only friends.
But, his standard for me, was not his standard for himself. I constantly would walk into a room and he was on the phone to women friends and exes'...
You can not have double standards.

When I started dating her, I literally gave up all my friends, just to be able to concentrate on our relationship... she did the same, except for that one ex........and I did not like that.... I called him the back up boyfriend....

I know it shouldn't be funny but hell yeah. Well it's always good to have a plan B. You should've done the same just in case.

That is unfair then. Yes, you did the right thing
if there was a verbal agreement about "opposite sex friends and exes". But never give up your mates, for anyone.

Yeah, but again it depends on what your and her boundaries and standards are for these things when in a relationship.
It might be perfectly fine for you to do what you did, others may feel it's too much to ask. When still in the 'honeymoon' phase of a budding relationship people tend to go along with things that aren't really according their true norms & values.
I'd also want to know why not this ex. It's not always lingering feelings, sometimes it's about a specific quality you shared and don't want to lose. I had that with an ex concerning music and being an artist. And I sometimes still miss that.
And of course how much time they spend together, doing what.

But it still comes down to whether or not you can live with something, and if you can base your decision on that, and NOT on ego, then you're good.
If it was more ego, e.g. because she didn't give you what you wanted, did not do what you did, and that grated on you... you may want to think about that.

"that one ex" may have been used as a subtle threat in the background, to keep you paying attention and pleasing her. I've been used like that.
Or he's the innocent visible distraction, averting you from the other even bigger secret.

if she left becouse of that situation with you ... seeing her x ...


then no you did the right thing ...
if she loved you ...she would not correspond with her x at all ...
unless there was children in involved ...

but it sounds like she messed up ...a good thing with you ...

My view exactly ... and she messed up a good thing with me !!
I am one who believes in once it's over it's over for good....I refuse to hang on to phone numbers, photographs etc etc.... I don't even want to know you..... I know I know sounds sty , bit that's me...

There never was children involved...
They were friends for 20 years, engaged for a couple of year, broke up three to four time, lived in his basement as a tenant paying rent... but was mortally afraid to take a date there. He evicted her once she started a relationship with me...
Yet he seems to have a hold on her....
Maybe she feels guilty because she did not return that engagement ring

Doesn't matter all that much.

"My girlfriend , now my ex,"
You made your choice.

If everyone tells you that you did the "wrong" thing, do you believe you can erase everything and go back to "what it was?"

Do you want to try?

If everyone tells you that you did the "right" thing, what are you going to do?
Immediately forget about your ex? Email her with a link to this forum and say "neener neener I was right!!"

More meaningful question is going to be if you're in a similar situation...are you going to make this same choice?

Let's say the next girl you date is living as a renter in her ex husbands basement, you going to keep dating her?

Or she has a guy "just friend" she's always hanging out with and talking to you about, how fun he is, how wonderful or whatever he is, what problems he is having. Are you going to keep dating her?

If you're in this same situation again, what are you going to do.

Hummm honestly first thing that both did was give up all their friends. I'm sorry but that is one thing I would never do..Now if there was a particular friend there was a issue over then both need to discuss it and the problem...And come to an compromise on the situation.

As far as the ex gf and the relationship she has with the ex bf which there seems to be a long history there.. To me it seems they both still have feelings for each other..I would never move in with a ex as a roommate... That is a bit too much..

As far as my ex bf's sure I still talk to them from time to time. One even calls me about every 2-4 months just to say hi and see how I'm doing..But I don't go anywhere with him just a phone call. The others I have spoke to from time to time if I ran into them regardless if they are with someone or not that is just being civil..

It is a tough call when you are ending a relationship after 4 years..at times we give the other way too much rope to hang themselves..

My ex that is my kids dad now we have a reason to be around each other for events that includes our kids and grand kids but that again is just being civil.. We joke around and kid each other but no desire to get back together..

I don't feel that anyone in a relationship should make the other feel like they are being ignored.. Just seems like her relationship with the ex has a lot more to tell...

And well only you can answer if it was the right thing to do or not.. Peace of mind is worth it's weight in gold~~~

Socializing while in a committed relationship with me.....

You are rite I did not want to be with her , since she was still socializing with her ex... was that a good enough reason to end it??? Some think it was petty!!!!

The next girl will be totally different...she will have to come to the table with as much as I will put on it .... even half will be good enough!!
I am done dating for now ..