Him not owning a ball gag or ropes deal breaker

Everything.

That's when a list isn't very helpful. When I first made mine some 6 years ago, most of what was on it was ego/fear based, projections from what had happened to me by an ex.
That's NOT the right list, although it shows what you still got to heal.
What you're after is qualities you want that are NOT ego & fear based, not projection. You cross these off, just remember them as healing points.
That may mean most of your list is gone...
Then you check if you yourself have the qualities you seek in a man so you are a match for that man. Then you know what you still got to work on.
And a very clear view of what you need to be happy, which helps to write a better profile text, or in real life present you in a better way.
Often we women go out there -online or in RL- being a huge receptor for anything and everything. When you know what you want & need you are not a huge receptor/attractor of whatever as you've already done the sifting and sorting.
It makes it SO much easier for yourself to see and decide, no, that's not for me, or hmmm, that could be for me.
Which results in attracting better quality men and much higher potential of finding the one than when you're doing and open to whatever and then have to figure out the long hard way if it works or not.

I think most don't get that making a list is not really about what requirements the other has got to meet, it's not demands. It's a tool to get to know yourself.
Most people want love but never ever thought what that should be like for them. Yes, "I want to be happy". Great! What makes you happy? What do you need in order to feel happy and fulfilled?
Most just chuck something at the wall and hope something will stick, regardless what.
A list is mostly about getting to know yourself.

My, how courting has changed since I was a young man

Valid points Sandra You wise to be safe.
I think perhaps women on dating sites experience the type of men that are looking for that primarily.
I met with a lovely woman recently. Neither of us felt over keen to progress futher, but it didn't stop us drinking 4 cups of coffee, sharing a pizza and spending about 4 hours in a caff.
She used to run events for singles about 10 years ago. ( god knows why she wanted to meet me lol)
Anyway, She's pretty much a guru about dating.
The men after sex are very active, and work through lots of women on a site, hoping for a bite. What you get is x amount of men or women that do the rounds with thier routines, giving the opposite sex a non representative impression.
so both sexes end up with statisticly more "base" encounters" online than genuine ones. so in an attemt to filter out the unwanted element.
The wheat is thrown out with the chaff. Because over time the filter has a tendancy to become more and more selective, especially online.

Some that you dismiss or filter out casually on a whimsical criteria may be perfect for you. some who seem wonderfull online, but as soon as you meet them you can't see it somehow. So you find your're no futher forward. A dating site is only a means to meet people, and I think it's a mistake to have preconcieved notions about what such a meeting should be.

Just meet up see how it goes. See if you survive that, before anything else.

FOr me, trust is the hardest thing in a relationship. It ought to be the pillar of all love stories. But it’s difficult nowadays because people would prefer to tell a comforting lie than say a honest truth

Yea fair comment.

Get over yourselves people, relax, it's no big thing, it's a small thing.

Better?