what do we feel about marriage

Been there, done that, never again

Just another scam of bait and switch. No different than the scammers on here!

Marriage is not for everyone.

I agree, both my ex-wife and I are kind of decent people and hard working and caring. But we could not save our marriage

It costs HUGE amounts of money, and actually hurts the couple and families in these hard times for most. It's an unfair "ownership" that's geared toward the man in favor (OBEY) being one of the vows. it's a form of control as well...

If two humans love each other equally, the strength should be of the heart, and ENHANCE a relationship in every way, not stifle it! four things are necessary for a well rounded union,....Communication, conversation, Attraction, and intimacy.. Honesty comes out of these four in every way if it's equal.

not religious boundaries that keep those four things at bay.

darkowl, tell us how you really feel.

Kinda vague.
I need more detail.
What kind of marriage?

If it was between you and me Clara, based on your good looks I'd be feeling good, and later on, you.

The main reason for getting divorced is, as a fact, getting married.

Marriage is mostly a means of legitimising children for legal purposes. Otherwise, it seems to cause more harm than it's worth. People live a lot longer these days and have more time for the relationship to run its course and be done.

Hmm

In general I think one can say that women want to, men don't.
That also has to do with the masculine wound that currently is coming up strong to be healed.

Hello

Marriage is only needed to get some spousal benefits here.

Wasn't my idea last time. I did enjoy the party and the vacation.

For me marriage is about a matter of the heart, wanting to make the love and connection official. Nothing to do with spousal benefits or mental things. It's a feeling thing. If it was about mental & practical things I'd never ever get married. There's other ways to take care of that. If a man wants to buy a wife he better go to the mail-order bride site.

I don't know about "we," I can only speak for myself.

It occurs naturally through pair bonding, which happens through successful procreation.

Other than that if there's a purpose to the "marriage" (defined by, IMO, requiring some kind of government legitimizing, or not recognizing it as such without a constrained legal distinction) like building a family, having kids in order to perpetuate culture and community, and establish "legacy," then "marriage" can be extremely useful and beneficial to the individual as well as society.

If an individuals goal is to ultimately just find "the right one" or their "soul mate" or their "partner in crime" or a trophy wife or kind of a sugar daddy (e.g. anna nicole smith and her husband; trophy & sugar) and have spent more time fantasizing and daydreaming about what they think marriage means, and how they "should" feel, or how it "should" go, then I think marriage is going to really disappoint them as they're not looking for "marriage" they're looking for a guaranteed source of perpetual solipsistic ego stroking.

De Facto should be good enough for practical purposes.
No need to bring in the scribes and the cults.
Just enjoy each other, and divide in equal measure, if separating.

hi

I believe you need to know each other very well, and for a significant amount of time, before making such a big commitment as marriage. The phrase "marry in haste and repent at leisure" has never been more true than it is today, when so many people marry soon after meeting each other only to discover a few years later that it was a mistake.