What is the worst or funniest reason you've heard for why someone couldn't show up for a date?

My mom grounded me.

Lol!!

Ok, this is not the worst reason to cancel a date, but it happened to me. I planned to go to the movies to see "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King". The guy I was dating said, lets go together and I said ok. The last minute he cancelled because he wanted to work. We planned for the next day and he cancelled again for the same reason. Mind you, he has his own business and works alone. I figured I'll go alone because I like those movies a lot than he did. It was a good thing I went because it was the last day it played and I had to see all those movies on a big screen. You think he could take a few hours to spend with me.

My car wouldn't start - I'm a mechanic.

I forgot - I'm not important enough to remember a commitment?

Kid got in trouble - actually, I can believe that one but it tells me a lot about her parenting skills.

JRR Tolkien can take it out of my veins!

"I got a stomach flu."

"I may have a melanoma."

" My mom came to visit" (after telling me she had already passed away)

"My phone got shut off"

"You poop? You are so nasty!"

"Dad has diarrhea, I'll be changing his Depends all NIGHT!"

"I tried but I couldn't find McDonald's"

"I saw you but suddenly needed to reschedule, lets reschedule this"

"I met a guy just like you and decided to just go with it"

"I need to wash my hair tonight"

"I didn't have anything to wear"

"My sister is going thru a rough time and she needs me"

"I forgot", "I marked the wrong time, day, week on my calendar", "I wasn't going to make it on time"

"I was at Walmart behind some woman on food stamp day"

"My kid isn't sure about us"

"My dog needs surgery"

A guy stood me up and when I asked him why he said "I bottled it because I felt I was punching above my weight." Geez! We made another date a few months later (don't ask me why I agreed....I haven't a clue) and he stood me up again! His 'excuse' that time was his mother had died.

I never found any of then funny, since they always boiled down to either a change of mind about wanting to spend time with me at all, or worse.

Most of the excuses on my list, happened when I was very young. One girl had a "better offer" at an afternoon gathering, and so claimed to have "lost her car keys" somewhere far away. Another claimed to have been in the meeting place at the same time, for the long time I waited in vain, but been magically unable to find me. No certainty what she was really doing.

I always found such cover stories depressing, not funny. Being rejected is never fun, and being rejected with an obviously silly reason is even worse, really, since it means that not only don't they want to spend time with you, but they aren't even interested in, or respectful enough for you, to come up with a cover story that sounds true.

Insult heaped upon disappointment.

Text from girl I was meeting for a date: "Hi. Just wanted to let you know I won't be showing up tonight for our date. Nothing against you but this other guy I like more asked me out and when he said the same night as you and I had planned I figured I would just bump you out and put him in their. Be mad at me all you want, cause I am blocking your number after this. I don't care. You are a nice guy and you'll understand right? I am sure you will. Gotta run".


And then......not even two hours later...she texts me again....

"Hi. Sooooo…..change of plans. Wanna hang tonight?'

My response? "Hello. Sure. I would love to be your fill in guy for the evening. You go ahead up to this such and such bar and I will be their within the hour. I so promise I will be".

The only thing I had happened is a no show. Now I wasn't too surprised nor disappointed as I somehow already knew. We were to go out for dinner, but my intuitive feeling he wasn't going to show was so strong that I had dinner as usual at home, haha. The only reason I did go out was that tiny percentage in case I was wrong.

I got that feeling when I didn't want him to pick me up at home to go to the restaurant.
I'm not stupid, and aren't going to give a stranger my address, nor get in the car with him.
I take it his ego couldn't handle that and he pretended there was still a date to get back at me.
Now if I hadn't eaten yet I would've been livid. No one messes with me and a meal and gets away with it, hahahaha.

Goofball, that's pretty funny.

"I was supposed to take my car to the shop for an oil change 45 minutes ago and I just now remembered." (excuse given an hour before the date)

Can't say... I've never been stood up


Joking of course... I agree with Igor about it never being funny, least at the time. I can laugh about some of the lame excuses now, but I feel it's pretty sad when people can't just be honest about it. I guess maybe they just don't want to hurt your feelings so make something up... it's just as well though because the one's that do that end up being the wrong person for you.

My last ex, who was a habitual date breaker claimed to always get caught up in conversation and just forgot or it got too late (I suppose he forgot how to use a phone as well, haha). Knowing him the way I do, he wasn't lying... but after several times it became too late for me... hence him being my "ex".

I understand what you mean, River. we can laugh now. That movie date I talked about was not a big deal. I did drive 10 miles to his house to meet up and he lived about 4 blocks from the theater.

Had a date for eight. Spent about an hour and a half doing some electrical work on my house that afternoon. Yes, of course, I shut the power off before doing any work. Later that day girlfriend calls me, "@#$ ^*()$ WTF?????, you picking me up or what? It's after nine!!!!"

"No, it's only quarter after seven hon". "Ooooh chit, you're not going to believe this".

Lucky for me she was a very understanding woman.

That's cool you went to the movie anyways, by yourself. And even better that you drove there instead of having him pick you up, you would have missed the movie.

I have been stood up several times, never found one of them to be terribly funny. I had one that had left for the evening. She left her mother to explain away why she had stood me up. Her mother, tried to get me to laugh it off, only I wasn't seeing the humor in it.

About a year after, I happen to run into the mother at a store, pure chance, she had car trouble in the lot, I helped her out by getting her car started. She thanked me profusely, I told her just before she left, what I thought of her cold hearted slut of a daughter she had. The long face I saw after I said it didn't set well with her.

It's called live up to your commitments you made. If you don't, then you're worth zero to me.

"I need to wash my hair" except he was bald. So what hair was he going to wash or dare I even ask?