I met a man in a dating site fortunately he has a way in my country for business meeting for 4 days...i ask him if he wants to have a breakfast lunch or dinner date with me for only one day...he said yes...so we set a date.... after a week of chatting...he ask me if i will allow him to have me in his bed...i said no...i know im too old already to act like a virgin but i do not go to anyones bed on the 1st date...my point is he was my 1st date...i known him for a few days...i like him and i would like to know him more...thats why i want to meet him personally but when i refuse what he wants he said...sorry to me because they a sudden change of plan...his business meeting was cancelled no chance for us to meet...funny right...but its okey...lie to me...

What do you guys expect on us girls on the 1st date...im not a slut...im serious finding true love...

Do you want a woman who sleep in bed of the every man she meet in every 1st date?

If i refused every man who express their sexual intention with me on the 1st date and because i dont like it...does it mean that i should stop hoping for a wholesome date...

Sounds as if he was only interested in going to bed with you. You had a lucky escape.

Never change your morals for anyone and stay true to yourself.

Looks like he really just wanted sex, if you dont want that look for someone else

Thanks guys..but im a bit sad...why those men i meet always asking the same thing...and when i refused they just gone away...do i look like a cheap slutty woman...im really sad...

Don't be sad. He thought he'd chance it with you. He played a game and he lost. He wasn't the man for you. If he was, he would have accepted you saying no and would have stuck around to get to know you better.

It has happened to me too.....many times and as I said in my previous post, stay true to yourself!

Since he asked for sex before even meeting you in person, it sounds like that's all he wanted, and not a relationship of love and respect.

Only ever do what YOU want to do; and look for a respectful caring man who is prepared to wait, and who won't run if he doesn't get his way.
Good Luck.

Thank you Ms. Delighfulillusion. And to everyone thanks for the advice...im a fan of this page...im always come here...to read post and comments...

I can identify with that, it has happened to me many times also, good for you for staying true to yourself, it is so frustrating when people think of you as some kind of sex object..

Best change the way you go about things.
You don't ask a guy if he wants to go on a date. If he's really interested he will ask you. It may be 2019, men in general do not like to be chased, they want to chase themselves.
It's too easy to offer yourself like that, it's needy.
When you act like that in communication with men you will attract the a-holes, the ones who aren't interested in committing to you, but like the company, and if possible, sex.
There are plenty of great guys out there, but a woman won't attract those when they're going after the guy themselves. Again, if a guy really wants to meet you he'll suggest it or ask you. He will take action. If a man you've been interacting with does not do that, not even when he gets very close to where you live, he is simply not interested. Not in a relationship that is. Sex, sure. But that's it.

@sparkling crystal thanks its been clear to me now...lesson learn ...from now on even i like that person so much..i wont ask him to meet me personally i will never make the 1st move to know the person deeply...never again...i like him so much but it only breaks my heart...

Stick to your guns Fierce,:) There are plenty of decent men who are genuine.
It's just a shame that the non genuine types can be more convincing (because they practice more) Sometimes the people that seem most attractive/exiting are just liars/cheats.
Be selective.:) You can afford to be.

Some men are simply self-centered jerks who think with their genitals.

There is a significant difference between being needy and being interested. Coming across as looking for someone, anyone, is much different than letting someone know you are interested in them. In today's environment, many decent men are going to need some level of encouragement to make an initial move toward you.

Good for you for sticking to your principles Unfortunately some men (and women) expect to have sex right away - a recipe for disaster in my book.

starts off with a coffee date, some chit chat, see if there's a connection then if there is. that's up to both people... hang out longer, invite home to watch some tv, movies, chat some more. Arrange a second date, perhaps a kiss to end the evening, depends honestly what mood both are in. Sometimes hormones and alcohol get the best of both, and they wake up next to each other the next day.

What a bastard! Stay away from travelling men on business because more often than not, they are married and just want a fling and bye-bye baby.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You did the right thing. Stick to your morals and you'd be ok.

I agree...
I am 57, and can only remember a handful of guys who ever approached *me*..
And, this goes back to when I was younger and ~all that and a bag of chips~ (as they used to say)...not older and chunky and not much to look at anymore...LOL

I usually had to start off the conversation.
In all 3 of my long terms, that what I had to do..

So, SparklingCrystal...we are supposed to just sit there, hands in our laps, waitning for some guy to get the nerve to approach us/ message us?

"There are plenty of great guys out there, but a woman won't attract those when they're going after the guy themselves. Again, if a guy really wants to meet you he'll suggest it or ask you. He will take action."

"If he's really interested he will ask you. It may be 2019, men in general do not like to be chased, they want to chase themselves."

They sure as heck don't come up to me when i am dressed nice and look nice at the numerous festuvals, music things, and cultural things I have attended.
I'm sure you'll say something about what i am "putting out"....which is baloney...
When you are in a pleasant state of mind and enjoying some activity where there are *other* people who are into the same thing...that would seem like the best time/ way to meet someone.
But yet...*I* seem to come alone and leave alone and no one talks to me unless *I* am proactive..
Except the older lady who takes the mpney at the door at one of the places I used to go to...I'd end up sitting out there with her, just to have someone to converse with...

I do NOT need nor want advice, thank you.

Just saying that because something works in *your* world, in *your* expereince, that doesn't mean it applies to ALL people.
To claim it *does* implies you have the knowledge of an ascended master or something, which, last i checked....there are very, very few of.....

Slow but not to slow. The thought that someone whoever asked you out.
Thought about sex. But really needs to find out if he even like you.

You don't ask a guy if he wants to go on a date. If he's really interested he will ask you. It may be 2019, men in general do not like to be chased, they want to chase themselves.

Wanna bet? I'm not one to go running after women. I freely admit that I'm no mindreader. Show me some disinterest, I'll walk away. I happen to be one that does not hear voice inflections. Those subtle hints, I do not see. Play hard to get, means you don't want me around.

I tried the chasing bit online. Two years of no replies made me give up. I used to try to post good photos, come up with clever profiles, write thoughtful messages that included me reading profiles over several times, and focusing on what they wrote. It never worked. I was wasting my time.

I don't bother anymore. I firmly believe any sexual comments before meeting was taboo. My goal was never sex-oriented until we'd have some understanding of each other first. But, since I never was able to put that into practice, it was just a pipe dream on my part.

I decided I'd better find some other interests, and scratch out women as worthwhile pursuit. At least I have some positive outcomes with that.