Topic: How do I handle this one? (Girls ONLY)
JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:15 PM


What happens if the grandmother becomes seriously ill or dies*? H



My mother is 52 years old and as healthy and active as I am. Dont you DARE start that war.... Thats my MOTHER, my BEST FRIEND, and my partner in crime you are speaking of, don't you dare have the balls to bring something like that up to me, such as the thought of my MOTHER DYING!!! WTF is wrong with you?

Gustava's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:15 PM
I keep thinking about the "listening" issue. Perhaps it is mythological, but it seems that other cultures and older cultures have/had a history of older women "mentoring" younger women; older women "passing on" what they have learned. I'm wondering a). does/did this exist? b). if it does/did exist, why do we, as women in this culture, have such a problem listening to and respecting the time and experience given knowledge of our matriarchs?

Gustava's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:17 PM
Edited by Gustava on Sun 12/09/07 04:18 PM



What happens if the grandmother becomes seriously ill or dies*? H



My mother is 52 years old and as healthy and active as I am. Dont you DARE start that war.... Thats my MOTHER, my BEST FRIEND, and my partner in crime you are speaking of, don't you dare have the balls to bring something like that up to me, such as the thought of my MOTHER DYING!!! WTF is wrong with you?

Oh please, save the histrionics. My mother was relatively young---and up until her unexpected diagnosis, healthy---and also my best friend. Disease and death happen. Your mother could die, it's called Life.

I'm sorry, but you really do come across as a child.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:18 PM

hmmm...i personally feel that having the entire family involved in raising a child is a good thing. i think it's marvelous that you have familial support, jayme...and that you can rely on them. children benefit from contact with decent members of their family. it takes a village, and all that.

i also live in arkansas, so i know a bit about the arkids first insurance program...a family of four, like mine, can make up to $41,299.92 per year and still be qualified for coverage. it's an awesome program, and i thank mike huckabee daily for it...as my children have definitely burned up the costs on this one.

what concerns me, honestly...is that you aren't taking good care of yourself. one should try their best to be in good health BEFORE getting pregnant...no smoking, no drugs, no drinking...to eliminate chances of harm to the child.

it's not fair to bring children into the world and cripple their chances by making bad choices...


I do not do drugs or drink, and if I were to find out I was pregnant, the smoking would be history. Matter of fact, I've had like 5 cigs in the last few days just to prepare myself if that happens to be the case. I eat healthy, I excercise, what else am I missing? Oh, and thank you dear, you seem to get what I mean. I'm really not trying to NOT hear people, its the ones that keep saying the same sh!t OVER AND OVER that are annoying me.. I can't stand nags...

AllSmilesInTulsa's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:20 PM



What happens if the grandmother becomes seriously ill or dies*? H



My mother is 52 years old and as healthy and active as I am. Dont you DARE start that war.... Thats my MOTHER, my BEST FRIEND, and my partner in crime you are speaking of, don't you dare have the balls to bring something like that up to me, such as the thought of my MOTHER DYING!!! WTF is wrong with you?


I don't think they meant any harm to come to your mother Jayme,,, I think the point is to be self sufficient. My father passed when I was in my 20's. He was my world.. he did many things for me. It was tough to all of a sudden do those things for myself.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:21 PM




What happens if the grandmother becomes seriously ill or dies*? H



My mother is 52 years old and as healthy and active as I am. Dont you DARE start that war.... Thats my MOTHER, my BEST FRIEND, and my partner in crime you are speaking of, don't you dare have the balls to bring something like that up to me, such as the thought of my MOTHER DYING!!! WTF is wrong with you?

Oh please, save the histrionics. My mother was relatively young---and up until her unexpected diagnosis, healthy---and also my best friend. Disease and death happen. Your mother could die, it's called Life.

I'm sorry, but you really do come across as a child.


You really need to back the f*ck up with that one chick, you're hitting a sore spot. YES, I F*CKING KNOW THAT ONE DAY MY MOTHER WILL PROBABLY PASS BEFORE ME, BUT I REALLY DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT KIND OF DEPRESSING SH!T RIGHT NOW. HOW THE F*CK DOES LOVING MY MOTHER SO MUCH MAKE ME A F*CKING CHILD. YES, WHEN IT COMES TO MY MOTHER I'LL GET ALL KINDS OF CHILDISH ON SOMEONE OVER THAT WOMAN.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:24 PM


I don't think they meant any harm to come to your mother Jayme,,, I think the point is to be self sufficient. My father passed when I was in my 20's. He was my world.. he did many things for me. It was tough to all of a sudden do those things for myself.


I lost my dad when I was 19, I know its hard. Why the hell do ya think I don't wanna think about my mother dying? I DO take care of myself. I only live w/ her b/c we are both happy this way and its cheaper on both of us. Not to mention, its what's best for my nephew.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:26 PM

I keep thinking about the "listening" issue. Perhaps it is mythological, but it seems that other cultures and older cultures have/had a history of older women "mentoring" younger women; older women "passing on" what they have learned. I'm wondering a). does/did this exist? b). if it does/did exist, why do we, as women in this culture, have such a problem listening to and respecting the time and experience given knowledge of our matriarchs?


I listen when someone's actually trying to help and not just being a judgmental b!tch.

Gustava's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:28 PM
Edited by Gustava on Sun 12/09/07 04:39 PM





What happens if the grandmother becomes seriously ill or dies*? H



My mother is 52 years old and as healthy and active as I am. Dont you DARE start that war.... Thats my MOTHER, my BEST FRIEND, and my partner in crime you are speaking of, don't you dare have the balls to bring something like that up to me, such as the thought of my MOTHER DYING!!! WTF is wrong with you?

Oh please, save the histrionics. My mother was relatively young---and up until her unexpected diagnosis, healthy---and also my best friend. Disease and death happen. Your mother could die, it's called Life.

I'm sorry, but you really do come across as a child.


You really need to back the f*ck up with that one chick, you're hitting a sore spot. YES, I F*CKING KNOW THAT ONE DAY MY MOTHER WILL PROBABLY PASS BEFORE ME, BUT I REALLY DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT KIND OF DEPRESSING SH!T RIGHT NOW. HOW THE F*CK DOES LOVING MY MOTHER SO MUCH MAKE ME A F*CKING CHILD. YES, WHEN IT COMES TO MY MOTHER I'LL GET ALL KINDS OF CHILDISH ON SOMEONE OVER THAT WOMAN.

Loving your mother does not make you a "child". Becoming irrational, petulant, and hysterical over a legitimate point demonstrates a basic immaturity. I hope your mother lives another 50 years. I really do. Losing my mother was one of the biggest blows in my life. However, my point is, you cannot rely on anyone but yourself to raise your child. Like we used to say, sh it happens.

Jess642's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:28 PM
Jayme......breath lovely.


Yep a button pushed... and if everyone was more honest, it's a common button.

Please go back a page and read my posts...

No one can attack you.... breath.


Even the most harshest delivery, has an element of care in it.flowerforyou

Gustava's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:29 PM


I keep thinking about the "listening" issue. Perhaps it is mythological, but it seems that other cultures and older cultures have/had a history of older women "mentoring" younger women; older women "passing on" what they have learned. I'm wondering a). does/did this exist? b). if it does/did exist, why do we, as women in this culture, have such a problem listening to and respecting the time and experience given knowledge of our matriarchs?


I listen when someone's actually trying to help and not just being a judgmental b!tch.

No, it seems that you want everyone to take your side and stroke your ego.

Jess642's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:32 PM
Edited by Jess642 on Sun 12/09/07 04:32 PM
Gustava, re: your 'listening' post...
A quote comes to mind....

"When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear."


Can't remember whose it is, but so appropriate in life, I feel, for all of us.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:35 PM

Jayme......breath lovely.


Yep a button pushed... and if everyone was more honest, it's a common button.

Please go back a page and read my posts...

No one can attack you.... breath.


Even the most harshest delivery, has an element of care in it.flowerforyou


I've read your posts, Jess, and your are very good at giving advice without coming off harsh. I can take that, but I cant' stand when people get all rude on someone they dont know anything about. I am and always have been a very soft hearted person, I take harsh words alot deeper than alot of people do. I'm kind to people and when they ask me for advice, even if its something I am very opinionated about,I am very kind about it. I keep forgetting that most people are indeed pricks...

lulu24's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:36 PM

I do not do drugs or drink, and if I were to find out I was pregnant, the smoking would be history. Matter of fact, I've had like 5 cigs in the last few days just to prepare myself if that happens to be the case. I eat healthy, I excercise, what else am I missing? Oh, and thank you dear, you seem to get what I mean. I'm really not trying to NOT hear people, its the ones that keep saying the same sh!t OVER AND OVER that are annoying me.. I can't stand nags...


i'm really glad to hear that. i thought i remembered talk of marijuana use...which is what i was concerned about.

i'm just as glad to know that you'd quit smoking...that's fabulous.

if you ARE pregnant...clean slate, new day, new future. if you aren't...well, then...time to prepare for when it DOES happen.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:37 PM




I listen when someone's actually trying to help and not just being a judgmental b!tch.

No, it seems that you want everyone to take your side and stroke your ego.


Nope. I just want the people that are only here to criticize to go find someone else to p!ss off...

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:40 PM


I do not do drugs or drink, and if I were to find out I was pregnant, the smoking would be history. Matter of fact, I've had like 5 cigs in the last few days just to prepare myself if that happens to be the case. I eat healthy, I excercise, what else am I missing? Oh, and thank you dear, you seem to get what I mean. I'm really not trying to NOT hear people, its the ones that keep saying the same sh!t OVER AND OVER that are annoying me.. I can't stand nags...


i'm really glad to hear that. i thought i remembered talk of marijuana use...which is what i was concerned about.

i'm just as glad to know that you'd quit smoking...that's fabulous.

if you ARE pregnant...clean slate, new day, new future. if you aren't...well, then...time to prepare for when it DOES happen.


I smoked weed when I was younger. I even think it should be legal and I dont' have a problem with others doing it, but I've not done it since I was like 17... Thank you dear, you've been kind. Feel free to add me as a friend if you like.

Gustava's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:46 PM
Edited by Gustava on Sun 12/09/07 04:51 PM

Gustava, re: your 'listening' post...
A quote comes to mind....

"When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear."


Can't remember whose it is, but so appropriate in life, I feel, for all of us.

Yes, you do have a point. Personally, however, this entire topic/argument reminds me of raising children. I can see the mistakes and flaws in thinking and action and my immediate response is to stop it from happening. It's like watching your son with a bobby-pin heading for an electrical outlet. What do you do? Do you let him receive the shock or do you stop him?

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:53 PM
I hear people who aren't judgmental. The ones who choose to keep on about stuff they know nothing about, like my life, really just annoy me. I am, in my day to day life, a very peaceful and serene person. I do get frustrated when people decide to interrupt my serenity. This whole post started as me asking how to soothe his fears until I could get to the freakin store, and it turned into my life under a f*cking microscope. I have a tough time saying things the way I mean them alot of the time, and it has nothing to do with immaturity. I personally find it immature to keep picking at someone who clearly doesn't want your imput and was doing just fine with the people who were kind in their wordings as I try my best to be towards others.

Jess642's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:56 PM


Gustava, re: your 'listening' post...
A quote comes to mind....

"When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear."


Can't remember whose it is, but so appropriate in life, I feel, for all of us.

Yes, you do have a point. Personally, however, this entire topic/argument reminds me of raising children. I can see the mistakes and flaws in thinking and action and my immediate response is to stop it from happening. It's like watching your son with a bobby-pin heading for an electrical outlet. What do you do? Do you let him receive the shock or do you stop him?



I remind him, of the dangers, and explain gently to him, that it is not healthy for him, as I reach for the safety cut out switch.

Life is lessons, but yelling, shouting down, and criticising is not a way of creating a gentle dialogue, nor a place where both can communicate.

I know myself, if someone TELLS me, I close my mind to them., whereas, if they suggest to me, I am open to them.

Gustava's photo
Sun 12/09/07 04:57 PM
You might as well get used to it, life and the world are not kind. There is sh it that you are going to have to deal with and hiding behind sensitivity is not going to give you the skills you are going to need to navigate this life. That said, there is much beauty and serenity to be had.