my ex who hasnt seen his son in a year,just e-mailed me to let me know he is in Singapore for three years as a project manager for his company.He has been there since MAY and is just now informing me.
His excuse? He hadnt seen Brandon in awhile and he didnt want to come back in his life to leave again.I would think you would explain to your 7 yr old son that you are leaving the country.My son has been blaming himself for Dads falling off the face of the earth.
anyway he wants to keep in touch via e-mail and phone and i am consenting only because my son wants to be in touch with his Dad and i wont interfere with that.
thanks for letting me vent.

wow, hang in there...that is awful! my biggest challenge in life is "co-parenting" or lack thereof. However you want to look at it.

well hun you gotta do what's best for your son.. even though his dad can't be there in person at least he's tryin to stay in contact... it could always be worse.
best of luck to you.

Do something for me...tell that IDIOT of an ex you have that I (Steve) said he is a PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A FATHER! (I will include address and telephone number for him is he wishes..and give me his..I'll go to Singy and pay him a visit...and know I can!)

Sorry but I get so ANGRY when a parent tries to pull such SH*T!

I was divorced when my son was not quite 4. I moved back to Oklhaoma and stayed there for ONE REASON...that was to be my son's FATHER! I even fought in court several times to get as much time with him as I could. Hell, I even got visitation with him at his daycare!

I spent all those years and NEVER regret ONE MINUTE!

So for your son's father to make some pathetic excuse that he did not want to be in then out of his son's life for his son;s sake is BS and a COPOUT! Even if he has to travel, there is e-mail, mail and phone. He may not be able to be there in person, I know that can happen. But I would be finding every other possible way of staying in constant contact any way I could. And without a doubt HE COULD TO if he only puts a LITTLE EFFORT behind it!

OK, I'm off my soapbox..but tell him that for me..I'm serious! I'll tell the bum what for!

My best to you and your son!

I know that it is hard, I have been there done that. I know how hard it is to bite your lip and not say anything. You are right on the point that he should have said something to your son. I hope it all works out for your son and he will have his father in his life. Co-parenting is not easy, and it is even harder when it is only one doing the parenting. Good luck and I wish you the best.

Stand tall and straight and dont let his crap drive you down,if he is that worthless to disapper once he will do it again,fool should feel lucky to have sutch a gift from god(your child),and you have the better part of your relastionship with him and I do agree with Sumthingdifferents outlook.Kids come first is the way I see life but this is just my opinions,SMILE young lady and always remember you have the most presciuse thing in the world with you!

AMEN!! You have that little boy! So you have the BEST!

thanx everyone.i know i have the best end of this deal.My only worry now is that he stays in contact awhile then stops.Oh well his other two boys(not mine) hate him and he is working on this one resenting him.thanx so much for the support

i'm so sorry for what you're going through. my father pretty much did the fall in and out of our life thing up until recently when i decided to cut him off...all you can do is give your son unconditional love like I do my son...yours is so young he can't understand but i'd recommend some family counseling for you both to get through this and so he will understand it's not his fault...my 2 cents for what they're worth

thank you Steve....the one promise I made out of my family's warped idea of parenting is that I would never, ever let my son go through that...and he never will

i tried the counseling thing with brandon and he flat out refuses to go.we went to the first session and he hid under a chair.the second he ran and hid in a conference room .I dont think any benefit will come from something he fights.He does have an excellent guidance counselor at school and i have great family and friends.He keeps a journal at school and its really helping him.I thank you for your insights.
My parents have been married for 53 years so I have no childs eye view of divorce.

oh, jax...

i would be SOOOOO very happy that my ex was actually doing what was best for my kids. some people just shouldn't be parents.

((lori))i tell ya i cant understand a man who has no contact for a whole year with his son while in NH but all of a sudden doesnt want to lose contact when he moves thousand of miles away.
i am so trying to be the adult and let Brandon have contact but i have many misgivings.Brandon just typed an e-mail that was so sad i had tears..

As a so called weekend dad myself (I hate that term as the love and worry are full time) I know the importance it was for me tomaintain contact. My daughter Starlah is 15 now and we have always had a awesome relationship.

At first I was a little rough around the edges not knowing how to make up a girls hair I would put baby oil on it and just slick it back lol but I learned and diapers on back to front

Your ex is missing out and I feel so sorry for your little boy thank God he has a Mom who loves him very much.

I hope things work out for him where de does not get hurt sorry for your sadness and his Take special care.

With Respect :Brian

thanx brian.i was a weekend mom with my daughter and i was always in her life...your a nice guy

Something,You rock.!!!Yus a good dad!

Thanks so much for the kind words. I really hope things will work out.

Children are very smart. The best part is that they can figure out who the better parent is, without even being told. And, when they get to be teens....if the other parent isn't in their life, they may not want to have anything to do with them and that's their choice too. As strange as it may seem, it's a big blessing to me.

Jax, if he is going to be that kind of dad, maybe it is good that he is that far away. My ex was alcoholic and I divorced him when our daughter was 5. He lived maybe 4 hours away. He would call and talk to her on the phone occasionally, ask her what she wanted, promise her the gift and that he would be there Friday night, no show, no call, no gift, and break her heart. I think he actually showed up for a visit maybe 5 times during her growing up years, the rest was telephone broken promise phone calls that broke her heart. I told him to stop it, don't promise her anything or tell her you are coming, just show up and surprise her. Anyway, he died when she was 18, the drinking destroyed his heart.

What I am getting at here is, is if he is going to be absentee and be the kind who disappears for long periods of time, and then may not follow-through, it is really hard on the kids, but better than being strung along for years by promising lies over a telephone. You did get the better end of the deal, you have your son. Guess you can hope his dad wakes up while he is gone and realizes what is important in life before it is too late and his son decides he wants nothing to do with him. Your son knows you love him. Take care.

thanx marie and romantic..
I am actually relieved he has left but i am mad he didnt have the balls to explain in person to his son that he was leaving.
oh well i got to keep on truckin..thanx again.