I have raised this issue before but Im really wondering where we are headed with this as a society. The question I have is if being under the influence of a drug or alcohol can impede ones ability to consent, why is it not just as accepted that it can impede ones ability to reason(or recognize consent)?

and even then, how will we start defining what 'consent' looks like when every person is different and reacts differently leading into intimate situations? I know I personally dont want the guy asking me every five minutes if its okay, or do I consent, or if I want them to stop ...et cetera. For me, once its heated, its only body language and reaction that are true indicators of consent.

then there is also the matter of being persuaded, which happens in real life adult situations. Women raised a bit more traditional may not immediately be sure but may become very sure during the physical lead up to an intimate encounter, some whisper no not because they are disinterested but because they do not want to be or seem too eager.

Sex is a very complicated thing and people are very different one to the next in sexual encounters. so where do we find common ground on the topic of effective communication (and it doesnt have to be verbal) of sexual intentions or 'consent'?

These cases are distressing. It would have been better for everyone had their parents taught them some of the life lessons mine taught me. Never begin what you dont intend to finish. And if you do drink, drink responsibly. The lines are rearly unclear when you put the two together before getting into a situation with fuzzy borders.

very true.

Still, in the end No means No. It doesnt matte rhow drunk or stoned either party is.

1. I don't have sex with strangers.
2. By the time sex is on the menu, we both know what we want.
3. Always there must be respect for your partner.
No does mean NO so if you don't mean it, don't say it.

I know people go out, get drunk and get laid.
Hell, I used to do that very thing when I was young.
I guess it all depends on how you conduct yourself and value intimacy.
To each their own.

The thing important to remember is that adult behavior is done by adults.
Anytime someone forces you to submit to their will you are being raped.
Maybe not legally raped but raped just the same.

When you go be alone with someone and you don't know them anything could happen. It depends on the nature of that person.

If you pick someone that respects you as a person you have different results than if you pick someone that thinks of you as a prize or a conquest.
Choose wisely.

It is very well recognized and accepted. What is not accepted, is that a person's legal responsibility for their overt actions is entirely impeded by intoxication. In addition, there is a big recognized difference between how being a VICTIM works, and how being a PERPETRATOR works.



That has been under intense debate for at least my whole life. It is why there have been cases where the victims have had their private lives and intimate details used against them by the defense for the accused. Lots of accused people have claimed that they had IMPLIED consent from their victims. Everything from the victim voluntarily entering the perp's house, to how they were dressed on the day or evening in question.



Some things to watch out for in the current debates in the public arena about this, are the age old differing motivations of each of the entities discussing the concerns.

Two elements in particular who worry me a great deal, are the journalists and the political operatives, who for differing personal gains, both wildly oversimplify the stories that we all get to hear about what a given case was decided on. Both of those groups, are eager to have as many of us agitated as possible about each case, so that we will "buy their wares" in large amounts. The journalists tend to try to inflame us so that we will watch or read more of their reports. The politicians do the same thing, to trick us into voting them into power and wealth, by implying that they will act to solve whatever we are upset about.

And don't forget that the people who have been accused, especially the ones who have been victimizing people for a long time, are often well practiced at making it appear that they had overt consent, when nothing of the kind was true.

What worries me right now, is that there seems to be a strong movement to purposely CLOSE peoples eyes to the victims, on the grounds that the victims are politically allied with people who support entirely unrelated political goals.

have you seen what is going on college campuses, males accused of raping?
even after the woman consented but admitted she had a few drinks.

Men today are petrified , I hear mothers are getting their boys to video tape the consent just in case.

its a sad world we live in today.

In today's world, with everyone attached to their phones that's pretty easily done.
Okay, cue the 'consent to sex' youtube video craze.
Cue the "No, I'm not married" facebook video craze.
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to accidentally video you rubbing your breasts all over us. I'm trying to get a newer phone but mom won't buy me one. I didn't know it auto uploaded to my facebook page.

Oh, Really?

on colleges they are petrified , they dont know what to expect after a night out with a female , especially after a few drinks.

Umm, I could tell them.
Man the educational system has really gone bad.
When I was in college men knew EXACTLY what to expect from a night out with a drunk female the next morning?
Get in the bathroom before she does or you'll be late for class!

It started getting funky during my time at College
Today its Phucked up, a night out with a drunk woman will get you more than just your weasel greased today.

remember back when you were in college there was no safe space, no microaggression, no trigger warnings

Men were men , women were women, Libs and conservatives could debate.
campus administration allowed dissenting opinions

Today not so much.

If youre white and conservative on campus , good luck.

Ahhh, what you're describing is what, when I returned from overseas deployment in the late 80s, was explained to me as The Pussification of America.

and men today particularly on campuses are phucked up over it.

How sure are you?
Have you personally went and asked every man on campus or is this an assumption based on general observation in a personal study?
Just trying to get an idea of the magnitude of the problem before I go thru all the trouble of digging out my box of givadamn.
Frankly, I'm really not sure where I put it? I think its in the barrel of whatdahell but its been so long, who knows where it got off to?

how sure am I ? well from listening to my buddies little brothers who are currently in Colleges now.

Listening to Conservative speakers speaking at colleges assuming they are speaking and not being boycotted by the left.

College kids that graduated telling their experiences

and the list goes on.

wow, you thought I was serious...>>noted for the future<<