I am by far not a racist and it hurts that just because you might not date outside your race that others jump to that concussion and call names. How do you feel.

Look at the numerous topics on this subject

Current one

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/544829

This is a popular subject in dating. My viewpoint is this, own it. Any choice we make that is decided upon RACE alone, is by definition racist. Not all racism is equal. And in my opinion, we are in a culture that conditions us all to have some type of racist mind frame on certain topics.

Indeed..so why do you (OP) not date outside your race?

Maybe people who don't date outside their race aren't actually put off by a persons race, but the different looks of other races. Most relationships begin with attraction. Some people are attracted to a wide variety of looks and others are only attracted to a specific look.

Whatever you do, people will still judge you. That's human nature.. just ignore them.

You have your own reason why you prefer to date people from there and you know yourself. That's the most important thing.

God bless and best luck!

I totally agree with you Angel happiness, human beings can judge unrighteously but God judge righteously so let us focus on what God sees in us and not what men sees and think. Shalom

IF people are put off by a look, 'Race' doesnt cover it, as people within a race have a broad variety of combinations of those looks.

two white guys who dont have the same 'look'






two black guys who dont have the same 'look'

Why would someone be considered a racist if they choose not to date outside their race?

The vast majority of people date and marry within their race... so these billions of people are all racist?

Nah.. they are not. They just prefer to date and marry within their race... nothing more then that.

if someone REFUSES to date, based on race alone, that is racist. THat the vast majority do it or not, doesn't matter.

racial preference is not racial mandate.

First of all the OP never said the word " refuse" she does not date outside her race.. because she does not want to. which is a personal choice having nothing to do with racism.

There are cultural reasons many people do not date outside their race.

so if you are white and you don't want to date a black or a Asian or a Indian... and vice a versa.. you are a racist?... Lol.. BS

So now other people get a say in who you date?.. because if you don't comply, you re a racist... BS

I date.. white... because.. I like it and I don't want to learn another culture.. I like mine... so I like others...who also feel the same... and that is wrong?

but I will be damned if I allowed people to dictate who I should date and.. worse yet.. label me because of their warped PC views

And sorry.. but the vast majority of people DO DATE and MARRY within their race...don't believe me... just look around... the WORLD. So I would assume those billions also don't like PC BS crammed down their throats either.

I agree with you greeneye. is a matter of choice and not racist.

there are a few tangents here, but

refuse: indicate or show that one is not willing to do something.

The OP has indicated an unwillingness to date anyone not in her race(a pool of billions of individuals)

no race is monocultural, so that argument really is not well made

And I did not call the OP racist per se, I said the choice is a racist choice, because it is based solely on considering race alone.

noone can dictate who we date, anymore than they can dictate who we associate with, but people can make calls on those choices others make as to describing those choices


And the issue of who we end up marrying and who we are willing to date, are separate and not the topic.


the vast majority of people are also overweight, but thats not 'it', its 'overweight'


people can make racist 'choices', everything we do in life is a 'choice' and every choice we make is open to be described and discussed.

Okay, so I'm obviously a sexist. I will only date women.

Just kidding, couldn't resist that one.

Seriously, this has been a difficult subject since forever.

My biggest personal gripe or concern about it, is that it was and is being manipulated by all sorts of people, in order to gain various undeserved advantages. And that especially includes the most vile of the racists.

The main thing is, as msharmony says, Not all racism is equal.

By definition, any time you make up your mind, in advance, based on race alone, you are committing a racist act, or making a racist decision. What our nation and our civilization has struggled with the most, and what has caused the most problems, has been when racism is woven into the power structure of the society, and stops being just an individual concern.

If you declare in advance that you will only date one race, or wont date one race, you are by definition a racist. That does not make you instantly on a par with the KKK, or Adolph Hitler, or any other horrible person or group.

Back in the now ancient 1960's and 70's, I watched as various well-intentioned personal rights groups, came to eat themselves alive, by fanatically seeking socio-political purity. In the 1980's and 90's, I saw the conservative movements do exactly the same thing to their causes, with their litmus tests and loyalty oaths. Then as now, I see the forces who SUPPORT racism and other such vile ideas, using every minor contradiction and over-eager mistake by those who want to promote equality, or pride in country, in order to greatly expand their own despicable desires.

I think it's very important to get, and then keep the bigger picture in mind, when you are concerned about such things. Essentially, don't let the REAL bad guys win,just because you feel guilty about your own lack of perfection.

Everyone has a right to preferences in whom they date! That includes race! Who cares what others say!!

True. We have the 'right' to racial preference, and to racist opinions. I think when people ask, they care on some level.

Obviously, people within any race have completely unique looks. Nice pics though. Hubba hubba!

What I'm getting at is that some people are attracted more to blonds, redheads or dark hair...etc. Some are attracted more to light skin, dark skin, olive skin...etc. It's just a feature that draws their attention first.

I have a girlfriend who is only attracted to dark skin. She has nothing against white men or Asian men, it's just an asset she's attracted to. She's dated white men, but she didn't have the same level of attraction to them.

I guess these are people with a "type". Personally, I don't have a physical preference...though I can't say I'm not drawn to attractive men at first glance. My long term preferences are more mental and emotional.

It's really none of anyone elses business the reasons why others date who they want...if I don't wanna date someone, I won't explain my reasons to anyone, because we date who we want... Not racist, just the way it is...

I understand being 'drawn' to features but each person, in EACH race, has their own unique combination of features.

I am more 'drawn' to darker skin than pale skin. Im also more 'drawn' to taller than shorter but those are singular features out of a list of potential 'draws', like intelligence, wit, pretty smile, healthy body, etc...

So, I wouldnt discount dating someone pale and short (which IM not drawn to) if they happened to also be intelligent, witty, with a pretty smile and healthy body and other things that I am also 'drawn' to.

And that doesnt even approach the fact of making it 'racial' since not all white people are pale, and some black people are more pale than others.

So Id say if 'race' is only a physical preference. it is misguided as individuals in a race have a broad range of physical traits

and ID say that making 'race' a mandate in and of itself is the definition of 'racist' bias