I used to party, you know drink and have a good time. And had plenty of dates didn't really have to worry. But now that I've quit and am getting old on the whole wild lifestyle have found it hard to get a date or have certain relationships. I'm begining to think it's the old trick if you take the bottle away the genie dies inside. Maybe I'm wrong and just need to look in myself for the answer's but Advice is alway's good if anyone has something real to say or can relate. I could use some
Lonely in Ohio

i think you are taking steps to make your life better for you. the rest will follow. yes its lonely and lonliness sucks ass...it will come when the time is right darlin! xoxoxo

wow your 22.... dont get too old too fast

Life threw me a curveball I know but sometime's you got to catch what's thrown and you don't have a choice. I'm not putting down a certain lifestyle I'm just sharing mine, I still get carded for cigs so I'm not worried about getting to old for my skin. That life's just not for me now.

Feel good that you are taking these steps at your age..rather then at mine.

There is a sort of transitional period. During that time get to know yourself as the non-partier. You might also find a different circle of friends too. Because the ones you left behind are unwilling to leave "The life".

Take it from me.. just because the party is over.. does not mean life is over. Actually it means life might just really be beginning.

I believe in Karma the longer I do good thing's and continue to prosper to my cause that good thing's will come my way even though I can't turn back time I'm making thing's right with people to show them I can be positive and lead a good life. Faith has a big part in it.

You'll be fine. Just remember.. Faith is not entirely about religious faith. Faith in self is pretty important too.

Sounds like Day Game is for you. Night Game is the more common fodder for pickup artists, but Day Game can't be overlooked!
Night Game = going out to a high-energy social scene to party and pick up girls in a fast-paced environment. example: the bar / the dance club.
Day Game = going out to low-energy settings where it is common to find people to pick up girls in a slow-paced environment. example: the coffee shop / the bookstore.
I believe Day Game gives you more of an opportunity to establish a stronger, more real connection that has more potential to lead to a successful relationship, if that's what you want to use Day Game for. Personally I use Day Game to lead to the bedroom because I usually don't feel too great about hitting on drunk chicks that Night Game almost always consists of. I like to establish a real connection with the girls I sleep with.
Some more dynamics of Day/Night Game:
It's a lot easier to get a phone number during Day Game.
It's a lot easier to get a kiss/make out during Night Game.
It sounds like you're looking for Day Game.

Then there are those of us who have no game at all. I don't think I have set out to either get randomly laid or a phone number since I was maybe 15 years old. That being some time ago.. I remember it very rarely working to my favor either. Not that I have not pursued a few women since then... They are just someone I am familiar with, or there is a chance meeting and a seemingly mutual attraction that is worth following up on...

To each their own tho...

Join in community groups. Volunteer free time to helping others. Challenge yourself to be adventurous and get hobbies that will help in challenging yourself. Life is great and its too short. Continue your education. The world is yours. You control your own destiny. Much love for those with open eyes and open minds. Good luck.

Game can be learned. For Day Game, I recommend checking out David Wygant.
Oh, and checking out David DeAngelo is a must for any aspiring PUA.
Google is an amazing resource. Just don't cite google.com as a source in any research papers.
Oh, and EXCELLENT advice from longhairbiker. Follow that, too.

You miss my point.

You and I apparently see the word "game" two different ways. You see it with a positive connotation. I see it with a negative..

I have no desire to learn any game as far as it pertains to intimate relationships. Not only do I not want to.. there is no need. Since I was 15, my time has predominantly been occupied by a few very long term relationships with some incredible women that are still dear friends.

I'm pretty sure if I was in the "game", so to speak... I'd have missed that..as well as what ever else is in my future.

I tend to agree with your interpretation of the connotation of "game" but I have to admit that I've been paying close attention to a lot of ChiefPUA's posts lately.

The fact of the matter is, the first steps in meeting somebody interesting are the same as the first steps in getting somebody to go home with you. I know that I have a lot of difficulty just getting up the nerve to go talk to a girl, let alone figuring out how to steer the conversation so that 1) I learn something relevant about her and 2) I make an adequate first impression.

For a guy like me, with a procedure-oriented way of thinking, breaking down the art of pick-up into its component steps serves two important purposes. 1) It lets me evaluate and understand the relevance of each step. 2) It lets me deviate where my goals may deviate from those of the traditional [sleazy] pick-up artist that you and I probably consider typical. (ChiefPUA, please don't think I'm categorizing you as sleazy. I'm citing the stereotype for reference.)

You are absolutely right in saying that the first steps in meeting someone interesting are the first steps in taking someone home.
Anyone can and should deviate where their goals are from those of any stereotype in the world! By the way, the "traditional" stereotype of a pickup artist actually comes from the bad apples of the bushel because they tend to stand out the most. Same goes with most stereotypes. Think of racism, for example.
Everyone should consider any piece of information that is provided to them and decide if they can benefit from applying it to their life. My opinion stands that pickup can benefit any man's life for any goal they have in their love life, and I truly believe that. You just gotta take everything with a grain of salt, but not too much salt

I understand what the two of you are saying, but having a predetermined process in any interpersonal relationship, for me... means I am trying to control the outcome. When I try to control anything involving any one other then me (Sometimes that can get me in trouble too) whether it is someone in an intimate relationship, friendship, or even a group, never leads to anything good.

What works for me is to let things go where they are going to go, without agenda, or pressing my will. When I do press my agenda, my will...without fail, I end up in a place I don't want to be.

In so far as getting the nerve up:

When I feel that way... I do not rule out the possibility that I am not responding to my natural tendency to be shy. It might be my instinct talking. The two can feel pretty similar when I am not paying close attention. Which is usually the case when confronted with a beautiful woman.

Sometimes when I'm in that situation, it is best to step back and look into myself, look at my motives...etc... rather then look at her, and force the issue of what might be twisting in my gut.

My most successful relationships were completely unexpected, unplanned, unanticipated in any way.. As they progressed, there was very little shyness, at any point along the way. It almost seemed as if we had met before, in another life or dimension... and the relationship had a life of it's own, separate from the two lives that make it.

____________________________________
Being an engineer, I understand process and how it benifits some aspects of my life.

However.. If there is an "Art of the pick-up", for the sake of this conversation... The process for me is not in a science... It is spiritual.

I'm confused. woman...games..in the same sentence? We're human being by the way. Not games to be played. You are very young and I'm proud that you recognize at a young age what lifestyle you really want.

You have time in your young life to better yourself, and be an example to your friends. Go for it Tiger!

Well to be fair the pickup artist stuff really isn't as bad as what women might be picturing. Partially it's the term pickupartist and the conoctation that comes with it.

Some guys through their social experiences or whatever naturally have a confidence and a way with women that just attracts them. Some of these guys are good guys some are assholes. Then you have guys who haven't had the same experiences and are shy and self conscious, some of these are good guys some of these are assholes who would play women but they just don't have the ability.

Women always say...oh I can't meet nice guys etc. A lot of nice guys are shy and self conscious and have a hard time coming up to women and talking. But if these nice guys who really want to meet good women can learn these skills then maybe women would have an easier time meeting them.

It's more of a skillset that can be used based on the person, not a way to change the values that a person has. A person can pick and choose the parts that he wants to listen to. A lot of the suggestions are actually quite good and help a man get the woman they want. It's up to the guy to decide whether he wants to just find his lady or get laid by alot of women and play them.

These guys are selling a service to men, so they use male-appealing terms but they can also be thought of as social coaches. A lot of woman tell a guy to just be more confident, but these guys are showing men how to do that.

I'm not much into the "how to build attraction" stuff because I'd rather a woman be attracted to me because of my unique quirks, strengths and flaws. But the stuff about how to build confidence in yourself and exude that is stuff I would use.

you took the words right out of my mouth, geektothetenth!

Very well put.

well you can take them back, I just don't really want things that have been in your mouth...seems a little gross