I am envious of your ability to take this approach. I'm so shy that most of the time when I go out in to a place where people like to gather, I avoid making eye contact with people. I can usually manage to say hello to my neighbours or to somebody in the grocery store. When I go to somplace, however, where people are supposed to be sociable and have fun, I lock up. Having a procedure is vastly preferable to sitting at the bar, keeping my head down.

Then it sounds like YOU could really benefit from pickup. Message me if you would like some resources.

Maybe you just have not run into anyone that really tipped your scales like that yet. She might be worth waiting for.

You know, the reality is that many people actually die alone if they don't take control of their own lives. You can't just WAIT for opportunity; you gotta go and CREATE opportunity.
Why wait for a one-in-a-billion woman that can tip your scales... only to find that you aren't able to tip her's? Why not go out and tip a special woman's scales yourself? It gives you greater flexibility in taking control of your own life.

True... if you believe there is only one. I do not. If that was true, then I have probably already shot my wad, so to speak..

I'm not one to create opportunity where there is none. Those interludes for me, tend to be a lot of work for a short duration. Or worse... being in a relationship that ultimately neither of us will want to be in. Eventually, very possibly with kids in tow, a house and all sorts of joint property to sort out. There is a reasonable enough risk of that without pushing the envelope.

I cannot make someone like or love me, I can't force myself to like or love either...

That makes about as much sense as panning for gold in the Los Angeles River. The best I can expect is maybe some dead guys tooth...

I don't get the logic of your first sentence there, Jistme. I don't believe in "the one." The concept of the one is just used metaphorically by PUAs... like in martial arts you train for that "one" moment that could be the difference between life and death on the streets.

In your second paragraph, all of those consequences are the result of poor decision-making...not gaming. An experienced dater, which a pickup artist eventually becomes, KNOWS what he wants and needs in a partner in order to have a HAPPY relationship.

The whole thing about not being able to get someone to like you makes perfect sense to me... that saying has always made sense to me... but then why is it that I CAN make someone like me? I don't really get it, but I guess it's just that the art I practice goes deep in the psychology of social dynamics and therefore has enough power to break through conventional rules. As for love, that's a different matter full of endless possibilities of a definition.

Well.. As I started out in this conversation....
To each their own.

I'm not much for trying to make people do what they would otherwise not do on their own. I know I do not appreciate when someone tries that sort of thing on me... So in that spirit, it seems prudent for me to resist messing with someone else's mind.

Yes, to each his own, but I think this matter has more to do with another aspect of human nature - we fear the unknown.
I personally would be exhillarated if a woman reciprocated game with me... but that's because I understand all of its concepts.

EDIT - sorry that kinda made me sound like an ass. I don't mean to be offensive when I say that.

If she was reciprocating...there would be no game.

Ohio here too and I remember the wild days from my past. What are your hobbies? Pick up new interests and you may meet a whole new group of people.

If she WASN'T reciprocating, there would be no game. If a game is one sided, you're just playing with yourself.

Game is an exchange.

ChiefPUA:

So, are you saying you're a player??

pickup artist =)

Now I feel as if we are talking in circles.

This line suggests that this is a rare occurance


This line suggests that in order to be in the game both need to be playing.

Much of what is written in past posts indicates that you have to know and play the game to...

Color me baffled.

Thinking in those terms, complicates the uncomplicated.

wow

I think you're looking at this from the position of, "I don't want to make somebody talk to me if they're not actually interested." I don't think it's as simple as that, though. Nobody's going to talk to me if I'm completely unapproachable; and because men are typically expected to be the pursuer, very few women are going to talk to me if I don't approach them first. There's nothing to suggest that the people I'd approach don't want to talk to me. It's just that because of MY actions, they never get the opportunity, whether they want to or not.

I look at a lot of this stuff as a way of creating that opportunity. There's no manipulation or mind games going on at all. I'm trying to learn how to create an opportunity where my shyness would otherwise make me completely unnoticeable. The thought of just walking up to somebody and saying, "Hey, my name's Eph. May I buy you a drink?" makes me feel so stupid that I'd welcome any instruction in making that approach.

Pick up artist.....player....it's all about the score
and games....

Well.. That's not game per se. That is more social grace.

Most of that is.. paying attention. Showing interest as "interested in that person". Asking questions more than telling. Identifying something about her specifically, that caught your attention in the first place, and find a tactful way to tell her. If it was her breasts or Rear.. you may do both of you a favor and go home - but some things that attract me are eyes, voice.. even over hearing some random thought...

Asking to buy her a drink? Well.. I have never approached a woman with that. I figure I will be one of thousands she will have her do the same thing in her lifetime.

Again. That is not game. That is a skill you can use in all social settings regardless of gender. It is called being genuine and thoughtful.

Sorry for the confusion.
(Almost) all girls reciprocate game in their own feminine way, but as for that first quote I meant if a girl actually reciprocated it in almost the exact way that I did. It's a matter of playing with different strategies. In chess, there is a strategy of mirroring the moves of your opponent, but people don't USUALLY play it that way.


nope.
the term "player" alludes more to someone who sees the opposite sex as game pieces rather than a game partner.
I don't know what thatplayer89 sees himself more as, though, so I'm not gunna judge him based on his username.
A PUA goes up to a girl and lays out a gameboard and pieces in front of her and says "let's play." A "player" puts the girl ON the gameboard.

The pickup arts aren't just about getting women, it's about creating a lifestyle. It's about making changes to become a better person. What's wrong with building self confidence and learning to interact with people? Learning better body language and getting involved in more activities? People call it a game, but really, life is a game. You just have to know how to play it.