Amen to that sister. I think the art of courtship is dead unfortunately

The internet killed courting I think, where as you'd meet, talk about each other, get to know personality and so on , now you fill in basically a cv online and never get a connection until all the boxes are ticked! As with the phone rather than messages, the tone of a voice tells a thousand stories.

Yes, I agree blondey, trouble is that some of these new phones look sexier than some the women

I prefer phones to computers. I still meet most people to date or chat with when I'm out and about walking around. If we get together, in between dates, we talk on the phone. Most guys I date are older and didn't grow up with the internet or cell phones.

And they vibrate

This made me laugh

How important is a toilet when I need to pee?

hi mavis, nice to hear

I feel kinda confused now.
As I am understanding it. Online dating is supposed to be a precursor to an actual 'meeting' date.

I'm told not to give out my phone number and email address and to be wary of the women that give theirs instead of using the on-site messaging system.

Then I'm told that in order for me to actually get to meet someone 'face to face', I must have a phone conversation with them. That having a phone is a requirement for dating.

Of the women I have met online, I have had phone conversations and the meet never happens and I have had no phone conversations and the meet has happened. I have also had phone conversations and the meet happens but the person was not as I expected in face to face dynamics. I have also had no phone conversation with a meet and they were more like what I expected face to face.

If I give my contact information, what exactly can a scammer find out about me that is threatening? I get a multitude of messages from women that give me their phone number or email address in their opening messages. Is this the norm for the online dating process now? I mean I have only been doing this off and on for 6 years.

Should I be calling these women, in the process giving them my phone number by caller ID? Should I be emailing these women, in the process giving them my email address and IP address?

Like I already stated, I have no problem having a phone relationship once there is a personal relationship. I just think that there should be some kind of sequence to these things. To me, its like picking up the phone book, finding a woman's name and blindly calling until I find someone interested in meeting me. How many people actually do that?

I think you can gauge the situation with someone. certainly wouldn't give out phone number and other contact details until you are happy with who they are. Most scammers get bored and move on if they don't get your info within the first 2-3 messages. ask more about where they live.
It's nice if you can have a "phone "relationship I think. Someone to talk to who is impartial to your circumstances.

When you're dating, it just doesn't sound right if you have no phone... perceptions are a biatch

Tom, my brother swears by magic jack http://www.magicjack.com/

VOIP system... not sure exactly how it works but it's something like 40$ a year. chq it out

I agree Mikey, I know how the scams work.
I also know that the phone can solidify a relationship when used right. Waking to her voice, thinking of you calls and the bedtime sweet dreams calls.

There are times when I don't Pavlonianly answer the phone. If I don't recognize the number, I usually just let it ring or dismiss it without answering. I was with a woman once when I let it ring and she asked if I do that when she calls. I told her 'sometimes' and she got mad. Oh well. There are times when I don't want to talk to a box.

I grew up in a home where the phone was not something that you rushed to answer, that not every call was more important than what you were currently doing. Even with my own family there were rules for phone answering. Never during meals and never after bedtime.
Phones were never a substitute for personal interaction, just a tool. If I was on the phone, it was something that was business, very important/imperative or an information exchange. If we wanted to 'just talk' to someone we would go to their house, they would come to mine or we would just meet at our regular place at the regular time.

In high school I experienced what I call 'sleep talk'. My girlfriend and I would sit on the phone not saying much of anything, just listening to each other breathe. It was very weird.
It created 'ear burn' from holding the reciever on the ear for long periods of time. As I aged, I adopted the 'say what you gotta say and end the call' attitude.

I have had women try to sleep talk me. I end the call. Most of the time I will put the phone on speaker (I live alone) so I am not constantly holding that thing to my ear. When they start to repeat themselves its time for the call to end. I don't want them to give me the details of their day over the phone, I want to do that face to face. I don't want to discuss intimate things on a phone where I can't touch them or hold them. I never want to have phone sex because that is more or less just masturbation for those who have no imagination. To me, the phone can NEVER replace personal interaction. Likewise, Online dating can NEVER replace face to face dating.

Unless its business, information or fact finding, Phones are for AFTER you meet someone.

Go to a bar, SEE a woman, talk to her, get her phone number.
Go to the beach, SEE a woman, talk to her, get her phone number.
Go online, SEE a picture of a woman, read about her, message her, set up a meet, talk to her, get her phone number.

Call said woman and set up another meet, discuss a date, make plans for it, go on date. THEN begin the phone included courting process that relies more on actual person to person contact than mic to speaker interactions.

I had magic jack. I let it go because my "Free Trial" expired and I was not going to pay money for something I already had with better range with my phone. Its not the money. I can afford $30 @ month for my AT&T service w/o internet.
Over the last 3 months I have paid out $90 for a phone that I don't use. Just to KEEP my phone number the same. This month, I decided to forego AT&T Phone Number Dues and just keep the money. If I had anyone that wanted to talk to me and I them, I would have renewed but 3 months and no calls, why bother?

So I asked how important a phone really is to finding a date?
It did nothing to help but my online interactions with women over the last 3 months has been active. If I had found one that is worth the call I would still have my phone in service.
However, of the women I have interacted with online, all have sabotaged themselves before we got to the phone number exchange part of the relationship.

I seek someone within 50 miles, preferably within 20 miles. That is because I feel a relationship can't grow if you don't interact personally, face to face.

I do the same regarding calls I don't recognise, if it's important they'll leave a voice mail.
Back to the op, not generalising, but a minority of people who are possibly "insecure "or even "possessive" find the possibility of not being able to contact a partner, loved one or someone they are dating just to much! Where are they, who are they talking to, why won't they pick up!

See that is something I have already experienced in a relationship and it has a terrible outcome because it is a personality defining disorder that invades other aspects besides the phone.
They usually have trust issues that prevent the relationship I am looking for. Its a big flag colored red with blood and tears.

There's a fine line between curiosity and narcissistic domination.

Those are your own fears based on past experiences that you now seem to project onto any normal person with a mobile phone. Which in this day and age is 99,9999999% of ppl. It is considered normal and part of the normal standard of living, like a refrigerator, washing machine, telly, internet/PC and a cooker.
The fact that people are up to speed with what is considered normal doesn't make them weirdos, freaks, stalkers or anything, it makes them normal people who want to partake in normal society.

You know, when you are ready for love, you are also willing to take the leap of faith, which includes the risk of getting hurt. You simply know you are strong enough to recover in case of, AND you trust yourself enough to know you will recognize it when you come across it.
If you cannot do that (yet) then maybe you best not go there?

As for the phone, having one also inspires trust. When I got talking with my love, one of the first things he did after we'd exchanged some 4 messages (yes, that few) was give me his phone number, home address and his FB page. He said "It's the only security and sign of trustworthiness I can give you as a man." (loosely translated from the top of my head :p )
I was speechless, and seriously impressed, as at that point I had not even given him my real name. That trust and confidence he had in himself did indeed inspire trust in me that he was not some A-hole.

I once dated a bloke who didn't have a smartphone but the old type of cell phone. I immediately felt weird about him, like "What century are you living in?" That also makes me wonder how not-up-to-date he was with other things. It simply doesn't give a good impression when you're that behind, let alone someone not having a cell phone at all...
Sorry...

Definitely tom ,I've had that experience to

Just slightly less important then having a car and money to go on a date.