in future and present relationships when is the right time to be the one to make the first move?

never

Perhaps the moment that your heart AND intuition agree is right?

at the moment when the time is right..

Good thing the definition of "first move" is flexible.

Not everyone goes for the grand entrance, the big play, or the huge impression.

Not everyone likes the flashy dancer, the big kahuna, or the showy spender.

Some of us notice the consider manners, the modest consistent greeting, and the quiet confidence that just doing the right thing will be their focus if it gets them brownie points or not.

It doesn't require a huge response either. A discreet nod, a soft but rare thank you, and well placed note in the conversation. It is amount consistently showing up. Being accessible but not smothering the other

The feeling that when you are wanted you will be there.

there is no definite right time then? not even a hint when you have to be the first to say hello? not even a clue when you have to put your own guard down? no sign when you have to be the first one to say you care or vice versa?

When the rohypnol takes effect.

is that an over the counter thing joe?

I've heard of this...being taken by surprise with one slipped in your drink.

That's why I just pop one before I go out.

hi guys

I think one of the reasons I am so unlucky with online dating is that I never make the first move.
When I was manager I was tasked to do CMS (Compliance Management Systems).
One of the tasks required me to train my people in Harassment.
At the time, I was married and had no worries for myself but noticed that many people did have a tendency to harass others and not just sexually.

When I do initiate a first move I look at the response and will only continue if the other gives permission. Most of the time, I wait for the other to make the first move. Its safer that way.

I tend to see it as pushing myself on her. I respect other people. I require some beckoning then respond accordingly.

Depends on what you mean by "right time."

To some the "right time" is "when I can't emotionally control myself anymore and have to do it for whatever reason; feedback, fulfillment, avoid regret."

To some the "right time" is "when making the move represents a height of symbolism due to idealizing relationships, the right time that reinforces my image and gets them to see me how I want them to."

To some the "right time" is "being able to get away with it, avoiding the fear regarding social judgment and rejection. The time I'm guaranteed to suffer no potential negative consequences for doing something."

To some the "right time" is "picking up non verbal cues, indirect communication, body language, where they're expressing a comfort (and maybe expectation) with advancing intimate behavior."



So, the "right time" depends on what your ultimate goal is for making the "first move."

And then it's going to depend on your ability to communicate with each other at that point.

.. I always make the first move..
As soon as I find out that they're crrrazy ... I'm packing up all my belongings and moving far away...
Lol.wink.... better safe than sorry...
Hmmmm... really hope I don't have to..anymore. ..

Good post, very thought provoking!

I don't know scepticalsoulmate, this baffles me sometimes. I'm a little old fashion, or maybe a little afraid of rejection (combination of both I think), so I tend to wait for them to make the first move. I have done so a couple times based on my assuming they were interested because of how they were acting with me, and found I was mistaken.

As far as timing, I also get stumped a little because people say "when the time is right" and I wondered, how the heck do you know when that is? I think it's more of a feeling you have, you just know!

I want to point out that "first moves" are often sneaky. When I was younger, for example, tons of guys thought they always made the first move. But sometimes I (and a lot of other people who were paying attention) noticed that a lot of the time, the women/girls set the situation up so the guy WOULD "make his move." I always thought that that maneuvering was the REAL "first move."

Amusingly, to this day, I usually miss it when I'm being set up to move.

Someone has to make the first move eventually, or lose out on finding that one true love.

I have lost out on alot of possible relationships because I was to shy to approach my attended lady. I often wonder what would have happened if only I stepped up to the plate.

So now I focus on just being myself and if I am attracted to someone I approach with a smile and say hi, if she shows interest then let's see what happens after. No harm, no foul.

I also would like to add that this is 2017, and its time the ladies also take the initiative and make the first move. Why do us men have to do all the work. Lol.

When you feel in your heart and have like butterflies in your stomach You will know...so when that happen tell us about it

What do you mean by "first move"?

If it's to make first contact, it's quite simple: Woman has to give the guy a sign that she's interested first. This was true in the "Scarlet O'Hara" day (Gone with the Wind) and still is valid today.
You have to let a guy know you are interested in him so he knows the chances of making a fool out of himself are very slim. Yes, male egos are far more fragile than females, believe it or not.

So if you see a guy you like and he happens to look at you, even if it's briefly, smile at him. Guys are thick, and will think you are smiling at someone else, so you'll have to do it again. Keep the eye-contact and smile. Hold that eye-contact for preferably 10 seconds, which feels like eternity. But if you do that, the guy will know you are smiling at him and not the bloke behind him.
If he doesn't look at you and you like him, you can say hello. Or ask a question, for instance, "I don't know what coffee/cake is good here. Can you help me out?"

Best not do that when you are with friends, because then the risk for him is too high. If you happen to not like him, he'll feel like an idiot in front of you and all your friends. And one of your friends could even make a nasty comment, making him feel even worse.
So best to do this sort of thing on your own or after you walked away from your friends.
Remember: only 10% of men are confident enough to just walk up to a girl and see if she's interested, regardless of her giving a sign or being with her friends. Only 10%.... The rest won't, so you'll have to help them along a wee bit.
Smile or say hi and then let him be a man and do the rest of the work.

Oh, and to add to that... (see previous page)
... the right time is whenever you see someone you are interested in and feel like it.
So not when you're in a shite mood, are pressed for time, totally stressed out etc. But that's quite logical ..