I have dated a few women pending divorce or separated with no problems...but it seems like a big problem for most others...
Your opinion?

Each person has their own opinion.
To me, seprated means married.
Which means taken.
Dating someone who is separated is non productive because the married couple could still reconcile.
Even if they don't reconcile, if my evential goal is to marry, i can't marry someone who is still technically married to someone else.
To each their own.

I tend to agree with the post above me, I really don't want to be the rebound guy.

I get that separated is sometimes a requirement in some jurisdiction's even when the divoce decree has been cut but not "dried" so to speak.

BUT I am not so desperate that I have to deal with someone who doesn't have the good common sense to at least get all the way out of the skillet before he wants to jump into the fire.

If someone has kids and is dragging them into something "new" before they can even catch a breath I can get hostile. It .takes me so angry I will not just delete whatever they "throw up" in my email immediately I will block them if they get around my settings.

I see...So would you consider Divorced sharing custody of children also a "skillet" or a Dutch oven?

Sharing custody is neither.

If anything it is cool.

But; EXPECTED behavior so not giving any Brownie points for doing what you are suppose to do if u love your kids.

each person is different and many come on these sites looking for a romance off the bat,,,,for many of those 'seperated' is some indication of still being involved, even though that can be true of a person with any marital status

the fear that someone could reconcile with another puts them off and 'seperated' seems to be a word that implies that possibility more than other status,,,,

what about when the tables are turned max?

Some men never seem to get divorced, claim to not love the ex anymore, and come up with all kind of b0||0x as to why they aren't divorced yet.
The kids, money, blablabla.
But those kids aren't gonna go away, the money issue will remain, meaning he'll never be free. Makes me wonder if he actually wants to be free.
In my experience, if you're truly done with someone, you want to sever ties.
If a man still can't cut the ties with his ex, I don't want him.
Personally I see it as lacking the baws to divorce. And I don't want a man without baws.

As some have pointed out. Separated means that person technically, is still involved in a relationship. I have dated a woman who was only separated before, and it was just an unpleasant experience.
Especially since he was the jealous stalker type.

I tend to have a bad feeling that the separated person will never get a divorce , in which case , he is forevor unavailable in my eyes

If they have not started their divorce then I'm not dating them done been there put too much time into it and damn if they did not go back to the so called wife they never ever wanted to go back..Less then 3 months later crying on my shoulder cause they screwed up...Hahahah ohhh well refused to take them back... Will not do it again~~


~~~Get Divorced if you don't want to be with them~~~

amen
this is what the rest of us have already done
make a choice
separated means married to me

Hmmmm..I do admire the honesty of labeling the situation truly.

On the other hand, valid points are made above, about starting
with a clean slate to give yourself the best chances.

I don't have hostility but I do prefer to be with someone who has finished one relationshio before getting into another

Hmm.. personally I date people for who they are not for their marriage or relationship status... I'm confident in who I am so I don't believe they're going to go running off to get back together with their EX..nope.. separated divorced it really doesn't matter if they want somebody else. Nothing's going to stop them...
I know lots of people who are divorced and still heartsick over there ex-partner.... all a divorce is is a legal document for the state or County to recognize that you are no longer legally and financially together...

It's just paperwork.... a person needs to be separated or divorced in their heads... now if I don't feel that they are over the other person in their mind...then.. yes I'm not going to keep keep .. dating them... but personally I don't judge people on their path.. or there past

Logical way of thinking from someone who is still married himself, and dating

Basically you're saying that you'd also date someone who's still married (not even separated) as long as she thinks/feels she's single in her head.

Also, a divorce is not just a piece of paper. It is a statement that says you want to sever ties, don't want that relationship anymore. Meaning you are free to make a fresh new start with someone else. Or -in case you still are on the rebound- are working on getting there.
At least the divorcee has made the decision. That's more than you can say about someone who remains separated for years on end, possibly the rest of their life, and to use it as an argument to keep a new partner at bay out of fear of commitment...
I even think it isn't right to date, as you aren't free to make a real commitment, whereas a divorcee can.

Oh, and nothing personal. Just how I see things.

..well.frist off.. I am very happily separated.... no longer in a marriage.. sticking my tongue out at you..lol.. and when the time comes to be remarried I will have no problems legally dissolving my marriage...
But for now it suits both parties purpose.. which is really none of your business.. or anyone else's unless I'm dating you...lol..

..and secondly I'm not saying I would date somebody that's married legally it just reads that way maybe..
But seeing how you're so good at reading between the lines..lol.. I wouldn't think I would need to clarify that.. but for the slower people in the audience know would not date a married person who is still in the relationship full-time living together...
But then again there are relationships where the man and wife are no longer married but still live together out of financial necessity..yes.. crystal fairy there are so many ways to peal this onion.. but first a person needs to be confident in who they are... have a little self-confidence.. not somebody that needs somebody else to make them feel good about themselves..
Not pointing any fingers..lol..wink.jk..

My point being and still is I date People based on who they are not their past relationships.. not the path that they are on right now.. but who they are as a person... I could really care less about their past relationships as long as it's in the past..
And the only way to know that is by trusting them... now I realize some people have issues with trust..lol..