it is critical questioning that leads me to use words in more than one context that others often only see in one context. prejudice and discrimination and racist being three

it is only because some have learned to ONLY view them in a negative light that it becomes a debate when they are used to describe a situation,,,,


IF race is the deciding factor,, and in all the examples it was, than it is racist,, not good or bad, just a description


1. They have only dated their race thus far and enjoy that experience so much that other races dont interest them. ( That is close -mindedness, NOT superiority ,,,THIS PERSON IS SEEING THE RACE AS THEIR DATE INSTEAD OF THE PERSON


2. They feel deeply connected to the history/legacy/culture associated with their race and are convicted that only someone in their racial group can effectively pass that legacy on to their children. ( That is practicality , NOT superiority)

THIS PERSON IS FOCUSED ON RACIAL LEGACIES, instead of shared values

3. They do not want their future offspring to deal with the common challenges that bi-racial children are faced with (That is maternal/paternal compassion, NOT superiority)

THIS PERSON IS MORE CONCERNED WITH RACIAL JUDGMENTS THAN ALL THE OTHERS CHILDREN FACE

4 . They've been personally romantically rejected /scorned by other races more than they have been rejected /scorned by their own race (That's practicality, NOT superiority)

AGAIN THIS PERSON SEES THEMSELF REJECTED BY RACE INSTEAD OF INDIVIDUALS

I say this from a place of experience because I was twice assaulted by white men and because of that I stayed away from them for a while, but I thought more CRITICALLY upon it , realized it was a racist generalization I was basing my decision upon and learned to overcome that type of one size fits all thinking when it came to individuals

we will have to agree to disagree

Wow, I read the first page, then jumped to the last page with my thoughts of "Jumping to Conclusions" fresh in my mind and lo and behold, Race is still the focus! Now, I lost my thoughts I wanted to share.

Refocusing....

I must be different now than I was (I am but in this reference, a new look).

When my children were young and I had responsibility to my family and career I was forced to make conclusions about the things I saw people do that could have influence over my family or life. I used previous experiences to classify others apparent actions as to how I would interact with them or if I would permit my family to interact with them.

While I was not one to spread gossip, I did listen to it. I did understand that gossip is often opinionated and incorrect but I used the gossip I heard to make my own conclusions. I guess I viewed some with a slanted opinion myself. The gossip was used as a focus to look for not as an example of nature.

My life was filled with much drama and stress. Sometimes I would not sleep because I was worrying about things I heard in the gossip pool.

Recently, (Last 6 years) I have been focusing more on reality than my impression of reality. I have gotten to the point (only responsible for myself) where I really don't care how people act or what they choose to do unless it directly affects me. I have no interest in gossip which may be one of the reasons I don't attend many social functions.

People love to gossip. They love to hear gossip and create fantasy scenarios where none exist. It is a world of delusion and delusional thinking is lying to yourself or others. I do not like liars.

I often say:

"People are miserable most of the time. They love to see others that are in more misery than themselves so they feel good about themselves."

If there is not enough misery in those around them they will create scenarios to elevate perceptions of misery as either a hostile intent or a way to create misery in those they think are superior. Its really petty and shallow.

While some conclusions can be justified by experience, the delusional create scenarios based in fantasy that they perceive as experience. There are some that use their delusional fantasies to determine their own version of reality. Their lives are often filled with conflict, drama and stress because reality doesn't care what you think.
As those delusions fall, excuses for the reality then become a different delusion and it keeps going until reality is the only remaining perception.

Try to re-initiate gossip that has been found to be incorrect. It doesn't gain momentum because it is difficult to re-delude once reality is realized.

I don't care if you are gay.
I don't care if you are racist.
I don't care if you abuse the ones you love.
I don't care if you cross-dress.
I don't care what you think about me or someone else.

I do care about many things but only if it directly affects me or my relationship with you as I see it.

So, go ahead, gossip all you want...just leave me out of it.

Note: Speculation is not the same as gossip.

question: if speculation is not gossip

then is having an opinion not caring?

I find it difficult to ever use the phrase 'I dont care' when it comes to peoples experiences and how they are impacting others,,, even if it is not me directly

The way I see it...

You can speculate without needing gossip. Gossip is delusional in most cases where speculation can be informed forecasting. Gossip usually has an agenda where speculation may not.

Having an opinion is merely forming a conclusion based on the facts at hand as you understand them and not caring is tending to not assign emotional values.

You may never use the phrase "I don't care" concerning others but in fact there are likely more times than not when you really don't care. But, that is supposition on my part and I can never know your mind or your personality unless we actually meet and experience each other first hand.

I had pancakes for breakfast this morning. <Why Would You Care?>
My balls hurt. <Why Would You Care?>
It was raining out a few minutes ago. <Why Would You Care?>
I need to get an oil change done on my truck. <Why Would You Care?>

My neighbor was outside on her porch an hour ago talking loud about something that was not important to anyone but her and the one she was talking to. While I heard her, I ignored her and did not care. <Why Would You Care?>

I made the cashier at Froogles smile when I bought a bouquet of flowers and replied to her query of "Someone's in Trouble" with "No, I just like flowers, they're pretty and they smell good, I live alone". <Why Would You Care?> {You might care if we were courting or in a relationship, but we are not}

I do care. I care when it affects me or those I have a relationship with. I care about how you and a few others online think of me but not in the same severity as those that are in the real world with me. That is because I have learned to understand some of you and I value your opinions of me. Caring is not an all-encompassing trait.

D

Final answer...


Did I win something???

An I-Pod with 500 free MP3s!
Just click the link...

alot of questions there Tom

about your breakfast, I feel no emotion

about your balls, I feel empathy as I have hurt and don't want others to

about the rain, I feel appreciation that rain can be so beautiful

about your oil change, I feel hope for you that all goes well

about your neighbors conversation, if it was not abusive to someone, I feel no emotion

about making someone smile, I feel admiration that you made the effort


for me, if I feel something, I care,,and I can feel for complete strangers because I can see myself in their place,,,

I understand your intent, commendable!

If you see a child in a supermarket having a tantrum because mom didn't let them have something they really wanted. You can identify with the child and you feel cheated as well. You walk up to the mom and beat your fists on her cart demanding that she give the child their desire. Then you look at the mom and you see the frustration and embarrasment and you start to cry for her because it hurts to see that in another.
On the way out of the grocery store you see a man smoking crack that asks you for some money. You give him all your money because you don't want him to end up in jail on burglary charges to support his habit. As you get in your car, you see a baby in a car seat in the car next to you and it is over 100 degrees and the windows are up. You get in a drive away because you understand that those parents have their own reasons for doing that.
All the way home you cry for those people you don't know.
Commendable!

Please don't jump to conclusions about my understanding of your statements because I do understand, I am just exasperating the words used to relay an intent. So often we expect everyone to know our intent that we fail to see how it might appear or sound to some.

It doesn't matter if it is the simple phrase of "I care about everyone" or placing your head on your sister's shoulder.

There are as many ways to 'take' something as there are different people.

Sometimes choosing the right words to express your meaning or taking the right actions is difficult when you don't know the audience. People tend to accept their own reasons for what they see or hear first. Sometimes the obvious is not obvious to all.

haa, not quite

I connect more with the mother for a screaming child and count on her to know how to handle it.

I do not give the man smoking crack money as I have loved someone with addiction and am aware that doesn't help him, I feel bad for him and possibly get him something to eat instead.

I do not drive away from a baby in a hot car, I get someone with authority to break the window and get the child out, parents having reasons is irrelevant to allowing a child to burn up,,

LOL, I guess you missed this...


Curious...why did you feel you needed to justify yourself in those made up scenarios? Not implying anything...just curious?

Bent on racisms?

Hahaha

Lol.. yep.............

ahh, there was no 'need' to justify,, just a WANT to respond

Cool, you are just participating. I understand better now, thanx!

participation keeps the threads moving along,,,,we all do it,,,

yw

We are disagreeing because we are talking about two different things.

You are defining "racist" as racially motivated mandates in themselves.

No other definition (including the link you sent me),characterise "racist" as racially motivated mandates
in isolation.

All the definitions from credible sources characterise "racist" as racially inspired notions/mandates/actions IN THE CONTEXT of :-

1. perceived racial superiority

2.logical reasoning /personal experiences being rejected in favor of fixed racial notions

3. injustice being demonstrated towards a race
I offered 4 examples on page 1, that illustrated no provable signs of being unjust to other races, showed logical reasons beyond the race issue for their choice, and show no real evidence of them deeming their race superior.

We agree that the 4 examples I offered on page 1 of the thread I are are racial mandates, but credible sourses do not define racist as racial mandates. They define it as racial mandates/notions in the context of the 3 elements I listed above,and none of the 4 examples I listed above contain any of those 3 elements.

So we will agree to disagree that your definition is different from the official definition , and I can humbly accept that.

As for the horrible assalt you described,, I have added respect for you and your inspiring journey to forgiveness, and open mindedness.


You made a very valid point about there being small 'racist' correlations we are taught to make ,including misguided notions about racial features, cultures, character traits etc , and all of that could be a precurser that LEADS to racist behavior but those notions are not racist unless there is EVIDENCE of perceived superiority, the presence of injustice or the rejection of logical thought instead of race.

And for evidence of those 3 elements to be identified , it comes right back down to asking alot more deductive questions before we arrive at fixed conclusions , which is what this thread is about.

But to be fair to you , me and all the respondents with conflicting views on this, millions of people have been arguing about this for years, so it would be naive of me to think that we can all agree on something so complex.

So yes Ms H. We will agree to disagree. Thanks so much for explaining your views to me in the patient , detailed and classy way, that I have come to respect about you.

well, I guess credible is subjctive

and I Have repeatedly listed definitions that include OR and not AND or BASED IN

once more: racist , ADJECTIVE: showing or feeling discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or believing that a particular race is superior to another




racist, ADJECTIVE: Showing or feeling discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or believing that a particular race is superior to another.


discrimination: Recognition and understanding of the difference between one thing and another.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/racist




racist , ADJECTIVE , having or showing the belief that some races of people are better than others

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/racist_2


feeling or discriminating based upon race, even when due to some PERSONAL experience,, is still racist


to say a whole race is not 'attractive' or they arent your 'taste' for dating, is no different than saying a race is 'not intelligent' or arent your 'taste' for tutoring, it identifies one characteristic to a race, as opposed to respecting the different combinations of characteristics of the individual



we are disagreeing because we are talking about different things, both falling under a definition of 'racist'

I respect your patience and intelligence, and I will always try to explain the context of controversial words when I know they will cause a feeling of defensiveness by others,,,,,words have multiple meanings and contexts,

Question:

What is the main reason/s behind people jumping to final conclusions ? Is it that ...

A. They lack critical thinking/deductive reasoning skills?
B. They are too lazy to consider alternative possibilities?
C. They are just close-minded/intolerant/judgmental regarding certain issues?
D. They want to entertain themselves with juicy perceptions/notions that THE TRUTH often wont provide. ?
E. Other reasons that you wish to share?
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Sorry about that Sis Peggy....I presume They Just have their Dirty Minds ....