Can you genuinely remove arguing from a relationship or do you believe arguing is a natural part of a healthy relationship? What happens if you find arguing detrimental but your partner finds it natural? What’s the difference between an argument and a debate?

To an extent yes.
Belitlling or being abusive or being belittled or abused is not a healthy relationship. But arguing is normal in any relationship. Whether it be s significant other or parent child, sibling etc. We all have feelings we want attention for.

Disagreements are normal and healthy, arguments are not. One can help a relationship grow, promoting better understanding. The other will almost certainly create animosity and be the death nail of it.

I'm not arguing. I'm explaining why I'm right.

Arguing should absolutley NOT be part of a relationship. If there is, why would you want a relationship like that?
The difference is likely one would hold a grudge against the other..
Bickering and arguing is not part of a healthy relationship - there is more to life than doing that..

Is arguing a natural part of every relationship?

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Yes.. and I'm very natural

Make love, not war

Yes.. that is how it starts out.. make love.. but then us guys do something like leave the toilet seat up or miss the hamper with our dirty cloths.

Then we get the evil eye. ( all guys know the evil eye)

Then.. well.. the argument.

then eventually the make up sex.. then the same thing ( different circumstances) happens again.. over and over

maybe we argue just for the sex?

ah, there's the method to the madness..

Maybe that's what "THE EYE" really means? (ravish me now and don't you dare turn on that tv!)

yep.. that's it.. we all know it.. all got it a few times.. that thing can burn thru steel.

Yeah, that's it guys

It's all about finding the right language with each other...
Now some Peeples nationality lend themselves well to being hot blooded..
But it's a matter of sitting down calmly and using a logic.. not your emotional side you have to talk with your logical side... it takes practice understanding.. but at this point in your life you are both mature adults and you should have the tools in your tool bag to communicate effectively..
But if one or the other person does not then misunderstandings happen feelings get hurt arguments arise..
Now.. if you are prone to arguing with one another.. make sure you are both okay with it do not get to the point where you have to jump on them and strangle them to death..lol.. no no..
But at the end of the argument if you can both walk away and still love and care for each other then whatever works for you works for you...
I prefer to sit down with a nice glass of wine and discuss things over like mature grown adults... and if that doesn't work I just take her in the bedroom and make her feel like a woman... that never works however because when a woman's pissed off the last thing she wants to do..yup...

And that just leads to a whole nother argument...lol..

I believe that a healthy relationship is based on honesty & open communications.. which to me does NOT include arguing! I feel you can have a decent conversation without yelling or being dramatic.. which usually only incites arguments.. something I like to steer clear of personally..


if you can't find level ground and are always feeling like the other is 'ready for a fight'.. you're in the wrong relationship.. in MY opinion..



to me a debate is when 2 people can discuss a topic without getting emotionally invested, to the point of 'boiling'.. you can have a heated debate, but those too I tend to shy away from.. I'm not opposed to confrontation, although I would prefer it NOT be with my partner (and would hope my partner feels the same).. so I'll agree to disagree and suggest another topic of conversation..

Of course.
If you find someone that agrees with you about everything, whose opinion or perspective is never at odds with yours, that doesn't get emotionally triggered when their viewpoint isn't validated or accepted, or is questioned, then you're either a dom/inatrix to a trained sub, or dating a doormat.


Sure you can.
You just relabel it something else, bury your emotions, and rationalize.


It can be.
It can also be a natural part of an unhealthy relationship.
It can also be an unnatural part of a healthy relationship...or unhealthy relationship.


Depends on a lot of things.

Like whether or not your partner is willing to listen to you.
Like whether or not you and your partner are willing to come to some sort of compromise or learn more effective communication practices relevant to both.
Like whether or not arguments seem to be increasing in number and pettiness.

Depends on things like do they find arguing "natural" because that's the only way they find value and security in a relationship.
i.e. "if they argue instead of leave, then I'm worth sticking around for and arguing with."
Or does the person finding argument detrimental simply hate and avoid any and all conflict.


Established and agreed upon rules, argument and rebuttal presentation times, time limits, predetermined and accepted limitations of scope, a 3rd party moderator, all parties willingly participating on an agreed upon subject/question, and a desire to approach a subject objectively rather than subjectively to appear the greater (possibly moral) authority.

I agree with a few others here, I see. Neither of these choices is useful, in most cases.

What I would say, in place of "arguing is a natural part of a healthy relationship," is difference is a natural part of a healthy relationship.

How you deal with difference, is very often critical. So far, I haven't witnessed or heard of any universally successful technique to erase or prevent arguing. Every system I've seen, is at it's base, suppression.

This is yet another area where my sense is, that it's wise to avoid using either the word "always," or the word "never," even to the point of saying that it's only GENERALLY wise to avoid them.

We are all dynamic creatures, changing in subtle ways, even if we try not to. That logically means that today's solutions might not work tomorrow, so in order to deal with differences tomorrow, we might have to come up with something new.

Anyway, getting too verbose again.

Yes.. and women always win.

great question. going to one current source of english definitions

M/W states, an argument is:

a. the act or process of arguing, reasoning, or discussing : argumentation
b : a coherent series of reasons, statements, or facts intended to support or establish a point of view a defense attorney's closing argument
c : an angry quarrel or disagreement having an argument over/about money trying to settle an argument

while a debate is:

: a contention by words or arguments Our polite chat about politics became a heated debate. The case sparked a raging public debate on property rights.: such as
a law, government : the formal discussion of a motion (see 1motion 3a) before a deliberative body according to the rules of parliamentary procedure
b : a regulated discussion of a proposition (see 1proposition 1b) between two matched sides the last presidential debate before the election the debate's moderator

SO, it would seem that a debate is a TYPE of argument that tends to be more formal and regulated



with that said,, I believe that in a personal relationship, DISAGREEMENT is natural, but the way that disagreement is addressed can make all the difference

if the disagreements are occurring often and/or discussed with raised voices and everyone speaking but noone really trying to listen or understand,,because they are only fighting to be right, I believe they tend to build up resentment and ruin the communication,,and therefore the relationship

if the disagreements are not occurring often and/or discussed with calm demeanor and both parties trying to LISTEN to and understand the other because they are trying to find a common ground or solution, I believe this builds strength in the relationship and is a good thing

I think that the goal of the people involved, might be the real key.

When people with differences start "discussing" or "arguing" or "debating" those differences, and the goal of one or both is to WIN, the results usually have a negative impact on the relationship.

When instead, the participants are both dedicated to finding ways to get along, the exact same [whatevers] tend to have very positive results.