I think the male is usually the giver and the woman is the taker-though I would rather use the word receiver.
Interestingly, she multiplies or improves upon everything given to her and returns it. For example, shower her with words of affection, she returns affection,make her your Queen and she crowns you her King, give her money and she gives you a meal,send her sperms and she returns babies to you and a house and she makes it a home.
Well,give her hell and she gives you the fire....

don't making the scar of commonwealth more deep......like a dishonor shadow never leave them along.....and that's another fault of nazi......i've dreaming about the rapture for days. but now what have bring to the truth it self by the "socialty" ? nothing.....and all the things. due to the fear both holps....whom will finally breaking down the clouds? the political power comes from the people but people it self is complicate indeed as only the god can explain. then whom was the one touching that "button" first?......get use to it....dude.....get use to it.....maybe what those giver had done worth nothing but atleast the source of flame may change something someday.do not jugde things so soon as it dosn't happening - ancient japan samurai oath. because those long gone dark storys the recircling human history already told......
have a nice day......

Exactly.....
When in a relationship a scorecard comes out keeping score on who is giving and who is taking dooms the relationship from that time on.

Like Crystal says it is interrelationship not co-dependence. Due to us all being human and fallible this type of relationship takes work at times from "both" people.

Yet when achieved it is wonderful....

So there

I believe the concept of giver and taker came out of.. the saying in a relationship there always is a bit of give-and-take.... in a relationship.. ie) Jack and Jill have a relationship..
At the beginning like in all relationships they take their time getting to know one another.. on a superficial level.. but as a relationship grows deeper the real them comes to the surface... now Jill was in a loving long-term relationship before meeting Jack.. and in this relationship she has developed the skill set to be in relationship .. and if you don't think you need to develop a relationship skill set to be in a relationship .. you are sadly mistaken ..lol.. in this skill set are relationship tool bag . Lets call it... she has acquired certain relationship tools .ie)communication tool (the ability to talk through and discuss issues and effectively communicate clearly with her partner). time management..( accomplishing her everyday personal things that need to be done so she can spend time with her partner). The emotional tool(. Knows it's okay to show your emotions in a relationship.. as long as she feels safe doing so. ) the physical tool.(.knows hugging and kissing and being affectionate daily.. and making -time and energy to be intimate is important..).the it takes effort and energy tools). Sometimes you need to put effort and energy and "give" of your self. in a relationship even on those days you really don't feel like it... .there's a few more relationship tools in her relationship tool bag as well...yes a vibrator as well..lol..omg...really!!!..grrrr. now, Jill has acquired a lot of tools that will help her in a relationship.. she has learned how to" give" of herself..

Now in the meanwhile our boy Jack has been a bachelor for some time..
Has not really acquired any relationship type tools at all... he's acquired the.. how to look after me tool... How to eat what he wants to eat how to spend time doing only what he likes to do.. how to like all his stuff and doesn't want to share.. his needs his wants. Doesn't really know how to" give" of himself.
But he does know how to" take "care for himself....

Now who do you suppose is going to be the giver and taker in the above relationship...??,.
And would you sa.. our boy Jack has his "work" cut out for him.. if he wants to grow as a human being and be in a full time committed relationship. He's going to have to learn it takes giving of himself and work.....hmmmm...lol




. .

.. yes but you're overlooking the fact that it's not a perfect world we live in the real world where people do keep score... our society is built on it baseball scores hockey scores we keep money scores... the bar in the real world is set High.. you are taught early on to keep score to achieve..
And yes there is a scorecard of a kind in a relationship...hmm. every year for six years I gave him a valentine..
Every year for six years.. he forgot to give me a valentine.. if you don't think there's a scorecard you're off your rocker

I mean quite honestly at the beginning of every relationship women and men are always constantly testing each other.. in some way or another either consciously or subconsciously you're doing it..
.... it's the relationship scorecard...

Well then I am off my freaking Rocker...and enjoying every bloody second of it. In my relationship with Panch I DON'T keep a scorecard never have never will. I didnt bother to test him that in my mind is too damn much work because as you say we have to many scorecards in our lives I flat out refuse to have one with him.
I stand by my statement when a person brings the scorecard to a relationship it dooms it.

When I have been weak he has been my rock
When he has needed a rock I have been there for him.

In the past if my needs weren't being met in a relationship I would wish them well "meaning it" and move on.

I can't tell you who has given more material things in this relationship nor do I care

Like blah blah blah..
In a perfect world in a perfect relationship.. who are we kidding everybody is damaged.. in some degree or another.. you're either self serving cleaning needy controlling..
Can't communicate effectively
Avoidance issues.
Intimacy issues
dominant overpowering.
Selfish not selfish enough giving not giving enough.. taking without giving..
. Mommy issues daddy issues.. past relationship issues.. closure issues..
Socially handicapped. to social... .. ambitious lack ambition.. emotionally cut-off..
Have unrealistic goals and ideas..
.. some are emasculating.. some have no backbone.. crazy.. withdrawn..
The freaking list is endless..
All you can hope to get out of this world is to meet someone.. that can see you for who you are.love you. know that you both have issues and are willing to work on them together.. For Better or Worse... but to say that there isn't any giving and taking and that it doesn't take any real work or effort... like a relationship is perfect right out off the Box...omg.. good luck finding mrs. And mr. Prince Charming..
And expect that one of you isn't going to give more than the other are you don't have to put any effort or real work into it every day.... because if you think that.. hang on to that twin mattress... when you start a new relationship.. because pretty soon you're going to need it again..lol..

..ohh.hi u.. I wasn't really referring to you guys as a couple LOL just in general about the scorecard..lol..wink..
But just reading your post now where you said if your needs aren't being met in a past relationship you would just leave..hmm.. now pardon me for saying this ..but shouldn't a person try to work that sort of thing out through communicating effectively.. before packing a bag..... this is what I'm talking about and it's not about you of course...wink.. but so many times in a relationship if someone's needs or wants aren't being met they just simply give up and walk.. not trying to figure out why it all happened in the first place.. there for identifying the issue working through it so it's no longer an issue in a future relationship or the present one...hmmm.ohh.. and the off The Rocker thing wasn't pointed at you..oops..lol.wink

Relationship is not 50/50 its two people giving 100% all the timeo

...Very well said straight to the point.. gold star for you..
Hmm. But somehow I think it should read a relationship is 50-50 but it takes two people giving a hundred percent all the time ...??.

No 1 didnt take this personally you should know me well enough by now...
My statement if my needs arent being met I am out...
Absolutely correct I will try to communicate that is vital to me. Yet, if communication breaks down to the point it isn't happening then in my mind doesn't matter who is a giver or who is a taker because I firmly believe that is both.
When I have called it quits is when the light bulb goes on and I realized we werent meant to be together.
Time to wish them well and leave.

..lol..yes I know I just wanted to make sure you knew that it wasn't directed at you... a little clarification..is all..lol.. and that lends itself to the point of communication..
Sometimes you have to say it out loud to the person to make sure.. even if you know or think you know they understand.. it's good to be certain avoiding any unnecessary hard feelings down the road...
All part of being an effective communicator...
Okay now back to your post..lol..
Yes it is sad when you get to the point where things can't get worked out..
And the light bulb comes on and you realize it's truly time to move on...
I myself have a big problem with this I believe every issue and problem can be worked out through conversation..
And the willingness to listen and understand what the other person is saying.. without internalizing it..
It taking it personally to Heart..
But just hearing the words and understanding the meaning...
I'm not a dim-witted man I'm well-read..
In the psychology behind why people do what they do... and I can clearly identify very quickly in people what their baggage really is... their issues..
more times then not.. it always comes back to how they were raised and the relationships they had in the past..
And how they dealt or did not deal with those relationships good or bad...
If someone is too clingy or needy..
Well you can almost directly place that back to some relationship with their parents or a family member..
I think the problem is most people don't want their issues pointed out to them.. even if it's from somebody that loves them... it's a shame really..
I'm a strong believer in always trying to grow as a person.. always trying to make myself and those around me just a little bit better for each other..
Not that there's anything wrong with who are the way they are now..lol.. but if there's an issue it needs to be dealt with.. brought to the light of day not kept in the shadows... it's the only real way to grow as a person and in a relationship...the work part..lol..
I really think I need a woman that is intellectually and emotionally able to.
Grassp these Concepts... but all I have met up to now.. are women that don't wish to deal.. with their emotional baggage... it kills me to know what their issues are.... can clearly identify them... but they never really seem to want to truly work through them...
I guess it's true what they say..
If it ain't broke don't fix it but if it is broken just go out and get a new one..
.. I don't really believe in that concept..
Because I'm a giver..lol

I'm not sure I completely get you here... Testing in the beginning of a relationship is more getting to know each other? Not sure if I'd call that testing. Testing is consciously doing or not doing stuff in order to check if you get the result you desire/want/need.
Getting to know each other is more fluent, not calculated. Well, not for me anyways.

I feel a relationship scorecard is something different. More like "I put the bin out every week for a month, now it's your turn!" That sort of thing, or is that not what you mean?
More what comes up when / if a relationship starts to go sour. And then soon after that, one starts blaming the other with stuff like "I always do this for you, you never do that bladiblabar."
I don't think you automatically always keep scores at the beginning of a relationship or in a healthy relationship unless you have issues that are interfering.
I think if you notice you or the other start keeping scores, it's time for a serious good talk.

Again, not entirely sure what you mean by testing and scorecards...
I like the stuff you come up with though. It is definitely food for thought!

I read this and it brought me back to my first marriage....I was indeed married to a taker and he took so much from me I was drained...
He did in fact tell me more then once that he didn't have a problem and the problem was all mine...go to bed and sleep like a baby while I stayed awake so mad and frustrated I couldn't sleep... then he would wake up the next morning and act as if nothing had happened..... so I finally took care of my problem and got rid of him.....lol
Don't want to every have another taker in my life unless they are a giver as well....lol

..good for you... exactly that's what takers do everything is everybody else's problems but God forbid if you ever tried to sit down and work things out with them.. logically.. it's like talking to a brick wall... because then they have to take what you're saying and really honestly process it.. and we all know takers only want to take what they want to take and the rest they throw away..lol

That's for sure....lol

you bet.....dude.....

The differences is The Giver will make Valentine's Day a huge event..
Bust their *** sending sugary sweet text messages.. getting balloons flowers .. even planning out a special meal at home.. are making dinner reservations..

What does the taker do... as little as possible... you would be lucky if you get one text the whole day from them..
And it won't be anything over the top..
Then they will say I was busy at work..
Ummm. Did you have a coffee or smoke break.. maybe even lunch..
Yup.. they just don't get it..lol