Too many people use that word loosely. Why does everyone think of that label, that is only a "catch phrase", used too much. Does anyone think about that? You can`t look for it. You can`t have it come to you.
It too complex, & but it`s not for someone who loves deeply. Only they know what a SOULMATE is. Sometimes it takes years to find it out, sometimes you know that you know what someone can mean by it.
But most of the time, it stems from love, not just like someone. It is a very deep thing, Its a feeling, that isn`t tangible, not explainable. But only that particular couple know what they have. It`s the ultimate FEELING of the deepest of loving someone. You can`t share that with others when you feel it. They wouldn`t understand it. But they may see it in your eyes, or your attitude. Sometimes, it lasts a lifetime, sometimes not. Sometimes you think it is real, & it`s not, & then you find someone else, & you just know the difference.
I knew that kind of love....it happened to me. I lost him, out of doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons.(I sent him away, to have him die in an avalanche). One great love. Now I am 83. Will I ever find that again. I `ve been single for 30 yrs, & keep looking.

Topic: What is a SOULMATE

No idea. I hate Walt Disney

I don't have a definition of soulmate yet in my own words. Still have a lot to learn.

Hope you find what you're looking for Kittyfur

As long as you live in the memory of a past love you will not find a new love as you are not finished grieving and remain in limbo with memories of the past. Anyone who truly loves will not ask a partner to stop seeking love if one dies but would encourage them to love more as it is the most precious gift and needs expression to be perpetuated...

hi

IN TODAY'S WORLD WE ARE SO EDUCATED ABOUT THINGS OUTSIDE OURSELVES...

YES I SAID THINGS...NOT ABOUT OURSELVES AND OUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS.

MOST DO NOT KNOW THAT THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN

THE SEX'S...TO FIND A SOUL MATE,REAL LOVE, TRUE LOVE , YOU HAVE TO

BE ONE...IT MEANS TOTAL COMMITMENT TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING OVER

TIME...OUR REALITY IS SOMETHING WE MADE UP IN OUR HEADS ALL BY

OURSELVES. THERE ARE ONLY 4 LIFE POSITIONS WE HAVE ABOUT OUR SELVES

AND OTHERS AND THEY DETERMINE EVERYTHING IN OUR LIVES...ITS UP TO US

TO TAKE A LOOK AT OUR OWN LIMITING BELIEFS TO FIND HAPPINESS....NO

ONE ELSE CAN DO THAT FOR US...EXCEPT A MUTUAL COMMITMENT WITH YOUR

IMAGO....

Hello Screaming Caps Lock Guy


OP: I think soulmate is similar to check mate.

Either way it requires lots of game playing to get it.

A device invented and used by poets, screenwriters, and romance novel authors to differentiate themselves and their characters making them, their lives, their emotions, "special" and better than others.


I'm sure lots of people do.
It routinely comes up in the forums and on profiles in one way, iteration, or another.

In many cases as a means of people to victimize themselves.


One thing everyone that uses it loosely seems to do is come up with rules for how it works and what it "really" means.

Making pretty much every discussion of soul mates:
"I know what soul mates REALLY are, so I'm better than you.
"No, I know what they REALLY are, so I'm better than you."
"Well, I found my soul mate and this is how it is, so I'm better than you."
"Well you do this, so that means you aren't REALLY soul mates, therefore you aren't better than me, and since I know this, I'm better than you."

Soul mate is simply a term people use to differentiate themselves and make themselves feel more special.


So basically, soul mates are known in hindsight.
Good thing hindsight is 20/20 or they might miss it.


So why start a forum on it?
Might as well just post a thread that reads "Soul mate(s) = ineffable."


Huh? But you said "sometimes you know that you know what someone can mean by it." If someone else can understand your feelings, they understand it.

Other than that this reminds me of almost every teen angst love someone across the tracks lifetime movie of the week.
"But I love him! You don't understand! You just don't know! You can't feel what I feel! I'm 15! I'm not a kid anymore! This is real!"


Probably not.
As you've noted, it's only discovered in hindsight.
Hindsight = romanticized and biased.

If you were to "find" that again (even though you say yourself "You can`t look for it. You can`t have it come to you") you would have to maintain a relationship for a while, and then compare it to what you used to have, how could you not.
Can you really forget the "soul mate" you used to have in order to appreciate the hindsight realization of a new soul mate for itself without bias?

What kind of person would be able to drop the memories of an old "soul mate" to focus their time, attention, fidelity, faithfulness, love, thoughts, emotions on their new relationship?
What kind of person would stick around while their partner seemed to never get over their old "soul mate?"

I think if you truly believe you found your "soul mate" then you're pretty much shooting yourself in the foot for a repeat.

At best you get the option to settle.
You found your soul mate, now it's time to rationalize.
"I found my soul mate. This new guy is a different kind of love, just as special, I really do love them. But I've changed in my life and I'm enjoying the companionship and mutual respect more than I did before. We have so much in common, we want the same things, we respect and love each other. It's not the same as my soul mate, it's just different."

GAMES ARE A WASTE OF TIME....SIGNED SCREAMING CAPS GUY...WHY GO DOWN A

DEAD END STREET UNLESS THERE IS A PAYOFF, THERE ALWAYS ARE IN GAMES. ''VICTIM''

Don't forget to add Nicholas Sparks.

hi ..nice to meet you .
where you from?

Ciretom has fairly completely described the cynics viewpoint.

The term itself, goes all the way back to early Greek philosophy/mythology. In it's serious form, it encapsulates the magic of pre-ordained matched pairs of people, of the sense of there being such a thing as "meant to be," and of course the overall, ultimate comforting idea of a well-intentioned magical super intelligence behind everything in the universe.

So it's a faith thing, and it's an "attitude about existence" thing.

As with all such complex and subtle concepts, it is much more often misused and abused, than it is ever taken seriously.

The fact that for every one person who thinks about it carefully, there are a thousand people who chatter about "soulmates" who really mean "someone who I have the screaming dirty jeans for this week, and who I'll dump for the NEXT sweaty bit of live meat next week," doesn't cause that to be the more factual definition.

ALL concepts, especially the positive ones, get abused like crazy in this world. Patriotism is wildly abused and commercialized like crazy the same way, but that doesn't mean that patriotism isn't real, or that in it's pure form, that it isn't any good.

For myself it is a love so deep you feel like your souls are connected.

I fully agree with...
On top of that, the relationship -if there was one- was over because you ended it.
The fact that you're still grieving about that now makes me wonder if you ever forgave yourself. Sounds like you beating yourself up for making a decision that very likely was healthy for you both, but made you feel guilty and wrong when he died in an accident.
If you want to be able to feel love again, albeit for yourself, friends, whomever, you need to forgive yourself and let go.

I absolutely agree that too many (actually most people) use the word "soulmate" too loosely. In my opinion, most people don't know what a soulmate is.



I can imagine what it would be like but I haven't experienced it yet; I really want to experience it... moving forward, I only want to be in a relationship if it is a soulmate relationship.



Very moving post... I'm sorry that you lost your soulmate... but you know, you experienced what most people will never experience... I hope you experience it again - it's never too late :)

some are luckier to find it and there are some not destined to be it

The phrase "soul mate" was in use in Seattle in the late 1960's to mean a couple who stay together because, though not alike, they are complementary to each other. As opposed to the only other kind of couplehood which lasts, according to the prevailing wisdom of the time, which is when the partners are "twin rays," meaning, they are very much like each other (same age, background, tastes, aspirations, talents et cetera).

What are soulmates?

Two people connected on all levels (mind, body, heart and soul) taking a journey of life together and covering each others back.
They are not identical, but on the the same page, going in the same direction. Together.
It is possible, but not easy to find such a person.
Maybe it requires a bit of luck too? I don't know...

Soulmate:
A cleverly fabricated urban myth by those who stand to gain much in order to fool and trap another person into an emotionally charged relationship from which there is no psychological relief or financial advantage.