What are your guidelines for your partner regarding their interactions with the opposite sex?

eg Do you need them to deactivate all social media accounts if any at all? eg mingle, facebook, twitter, instagram etc?

Is it unacceptable to you for your mate to hang out with friends of the opposite sex one-on-one?

Do you feel uncomfortable if your partner frequently leaves the room to make or answer calls or messages ?

Do you have a time at night in mind as to when calls from the opposite sex should cease?

Do you always need to know when your mate is hanging out with someone of the opposite sex?

OR..

Do your guidelines totally depend on the personality and habits of your mate , your combined past experiences together and the type of relationship you share?

Mmmmm, Yesss!...rules were made for spanking.

First of all if I'm in a relationship with someone there has to be trust.... if I can't trust him then I don't want him. And if someone can take him away from me then I never had him to begin with..

now as far as the questions you ask here, I think a lot of the answers really depends on what kind of relationship you have with that person...
I don't think the other person should have to deactivate their entire life just because they are with you... but there are lines that can't be crossed...
I think you should be able to be around the opposite sex unless that person is trying their best to take your partner away from you.. at that point I think you have to show the respect to your partner and stay away from that friend...
I think if he is leaving the room to make or receive calls all the time that it is as innocent as he is saying it is...

Most of all I think it just depends on the two people that are involved and the ground rules they set for each other in their relationship.. because I know there are things I won't put up with that some of my friends are ok with...

Wow
I think if you're considering making a partner cease social contact, you need to be considering your relationship and possibly your own self worth. And by that, I don't mean you are worthless, I mean you need to have a good look at how you feel about yourself.

If someone is with you and happy, they won't wander - it's perfectly normal to have friendships with people of the opposite sex. I think the lines vary on things like flirting - some people do it without any intention, its just fun. What matters are you and your partners values on this (and indeed most things) being of a similar nature - if your partner likes to flirt but you don't, its not going to work.
Wandering off to another room to talk is not a problem, again, its normal. If I'm watching TV etc, I don't want someone talking over it on the phone for instance. If they're secretive, thats different. But that's not to say you should be looking through their phone either - that doesn't constitute trust. Without trust, there is no relationship.

If it's a friend, it's a friend, doesn't matter what sex they are.

If you understand your partner and their needs, and both of you fulfil each others needs, there won't be any reason for straying. Everyone needs a social life outside their partner.

Always depend on Maxsterx for a spicy take on things

I totally agree with you.

I am all for both parties allowing each other to.be free with just a few boundaries that both induviduals can mutually decide upon.

I think the challenge is when one or both parties were cheated on in the past, which leaves many past victims feeling suspicious over behaviours that the average person views as innocent .

I trust my partner, and would not dream of asking her to cease her social friendships, just as I would not expect her to ask me to cease my social friendships.

I totally agree with most of what you said.Trust is so important in a relationship and choosing someone who shares your perceptions on what the boundaries should be, is crucial!

But as I said to checkinguout, a person who was cheated on in the past may be a lot less trusting of behaviors that tbe average person considers innocent, so some sensitivity may be required there.

But I dont totally agree with you that
If someone is with you and happy, they won't wander .

No couple is happy with each other all the time, and in fact there are times when they may even be enjoying the company of a friend way more than their mate during a slump in the relationship.

During those relationship slumps that all couples go through, the temptation to wander emerges for many people.

During vulnerable times like that, I personally would be very cautious about my interactions with the opposite sex. I personally wouldnt go on any chatsites or hang with make friends under those circumstances.

I remember one of my friends who was going through a tough time in her marriage started hanging out often with a male friend of hers because she felt he was understanding her in a way her husband wasnt. I think one night they ended up kissing.

I think too many people play with fire in that regard. Taking foolish chances like that severely puts your relationship at risk in my opinion

I totally agree jan. I would hate to be in a relationship where either of us felt stiffled.
I think the main priciples to sustain are transparency and respect :)

not all the time. but for you maybe yes

you need privacy even though you're in relationships /married ,as long as your faithful nothing wrong to ask for privacy

* In most first world nations relationships are different and have changed in the bond that holds the or maintains the relationship. Often the relationship does not have children and if it does the parents are socially identified as "care givers". The women's enjoyment in the relationship is the main bond. Employment career and personal happiness is paramount for a relationship today. All relationships are viewed as temporary. Women have social pressure to be liberated and to explore their freedoms.
** If a guy were to recommend his spouse/gf about outside contact, that would be seen as extremely possessive or a dangerous personality.
** Relationships are very fluid today and can only be seen in the context of here and now.

Are organic and defined by the interaction which defines the relationship, or it won't work.


I don't have guidelines for their behavior.
I either accept their behavior, tell them how it affects me and let them decide how important it is to them, or I leave if it bothers me that much and they don't seem to care.


No.
But if I want to go do something with them, or talk to them, or spend time with them, and they continuously blow me off for "social media" then I'm probably not going to be sticking around for very long.


I don't date people that hang out with friends of the opposite sex one-on-one.
So would never have a partner that did.
If while we were "partnered" and they started hanging out one-on-one with a "friend" of the opposite sex then I would reassess based on the situation.


Only if we're in the middle of a conversation or sex or something directly interactive and she's not expecting a call from work or someone sick.
Otherwise I'd take it as kind of respectful as I'd probably be reading or watching something and wouldn't want to be disturbed with her conversation.


No. I'm not their parent.


Only if it interferes with our plans.


The only guidelines I'd ever have would be expectations based on experience with their consistent behavior over time.

Going into a relationship with rules and guidelines for their behavior and their relationships with others turns me into their daddy or the relationship into some kind of dom/sub thing.
It makes it my relationship that they're helping me fulfill by living up to my guidelines instead of our relationship.
That way is guaranteed to fail.

When you find a new friend you would usually run into and be introduced to their friends.. It would be
simple to warm up to their friends and figure out their different dynamics. If there was a sexual dynamic going on between your new friend and his, I would wonder what am I??
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer ....

What is with these restrictions? Guidelines, are you loving a person or making them your slave? She is a privilege in my life and I am lucky enough that she loves me out of millions of guys around. Love is not a shackle which makes you an owner of someone, it is a respect which you got from another human. I want to be the person she likes to be with not someone she has to be with. As they say let her free and if she really loves you at the end she will be yours else she was never yours. cheers

Well let's see if we are a couple then No sharing of body fluids period... Trust has to be there.




Not at all.. I have life long friends that are male and female and I would hope he does also... This to me sounds very very insecure. And portrays some bigger issues in the relationship if either person did this



No because, that to me is the polite thing to do. I do that now with my roommate. Now if he did it with only one person then I might raise an eyebrow this would really depend on the person and what is going on that persons life

[quote
Do you have a time at night in mind as to when calls from the opposite sex should cease?
Do you always need to know when your mate is hanging out with someone of the opposite sex?

Calls stop when we have quality time together but my job when I am on call, my phone can ring all night long and that can be tough it really depends on what is happening with the caller. IF it is a crisis then take it and help. Now if it is trying to decide what to wear to work tomorrow no not going to happen




I think for me to have such control over anyone would be strangling.. I have offered to share my passwords to anything I have because I have nothing to hide. That is just me..

I believe when you have a relationship it has to be based on mutual respect and trust.

I couldn't see myself being with someone this controlling nor could I see myself as this controlling I would run...

What are your guidelines for your partner regarding their interactions with the opposite sex?
eg Do you need them to deactivate all social media accounts if any at all? eg mingle, facebook, twitter, instagram etc?

No need to deactivate, but if he has an awful lot of female friends, I do find it suspicious and I will not appreciate it.


Is it unacceptable to you for your mate to hang out with friends of the opposite sex one-on-one?
Yep


Do you feel uncomfortable if your partner frequently leaves the room to make or answer calls or messages ?
Yep. If he has secrets to keep, and needs to leave the room frequently. .. not good! Been there before. Never will put myself through that again.


Do you have a time at night in mind as to when calls from the opposite sex should cease?
Yes. But in general you don't call ppl in the middle of the night. Common decency as far as I'm concerned. If women phone him late at night, he has some explaining to do.


Do you always need to know when your mate is hanging out with someone of the opposite sex?
Yes, I generally don't want my partner to have female friends. I personally find it weird if a guy hasn't got mates. Blokes to do bloke things with.

OR..


Do your guidelines totally depend on the personality and habits of your mate , your combined past experiences together and the type of relationship you share?
Yes to all. My ex had NO male friend whatsoever, only women. And most of those contacts were flirty, very sexual, and with some he had had sex.
I will not ever go there again with a man. If a guy needs female company and I'm not enough, sod him. To be honest, I find it weird if a man needs female company, apart from a partner. If he needs to be around other women a lot, he's going to have to do it without me in his life. Not my kind of guy.

If it is pricacy over something that could cause him to distrust me if he found out by accident, I prefer to be transparent about it.

In theory I agree with everything you say here Doug, The challenge is that too many people in order to not appear possessive or "psycho". end up being downright dishonest about the boundaries that matter to them , and then they end up resenting and punishing their partner for crossing their boundaries, which they never clearly itemised in the first place.

Sadly many people are not able to face that situation and cannot find it within themselves to trust and end up without their significant other...