Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

If you truly are all that, then why do you (have to) resort to dating sites to find dates/a partner?
Why can't you find one in real life? Or do you?

Just wondering if it's a myth that you only find "left-overs" online. I don't really believe that myth myself ...
But still ... if you are truly such a great catch ... men/women should be falling at your feet? So what the heck are you doing here?

-Do people not socialize enough anymore to find someone in real life?
-Are their practical reasons?
-Or are many ppl on dating sites "leftovers" after all?

*Not getting at Mingle per say, so "I'm here for the forums" is not what I'm interested in, lol*

Perhaps just what "I've" noticed.....but I seem to see more hook-ups from people who actually ARE just here for the forums. The ones who just rip it up and be themselves with a lack of any agenda or desperation tend to shine.

Also the people I find hilarious here; I've never read the phrase, "I have a great sense of humor" from them. They just ARE funny.

14 posts and all exactly alike...

mine says none of those things...

Ummmm..

Doesn't the fact that someone isn't currently in a relationship, but is open to one, mean that they are a "left over?"

No matter where you see them?

**haha!

* Just got back from shopping and saw your post.
* My boys gave me heck for keeping them waiting half hour.

** Michelle was busy picking me up and we got to know each other a little bit. She's on-call temp at the store and the other stores the chain has around our city. Every day or two she has to drive to a different store.
* She put her e-mail into my "date book wallet" under "Projects" section haha!. I have to carry a such a large thing because of kids ids and all the stuff.
** I did tell her I'm on a date site but mostly in the Forums area and about the fun I have there. Yes I did tell her it was Mingle2 and she could get lots of great guys. Yes, I told her also that I get a lot of "Panthers" haha! (what are they?) so I explained . haha!
** She help me shop as we yakked. Yah! Michelle is a Panther haha!
** I will e-mail her later mmm 9 ish . If I don't she will be very cheesed and give me hell some day haha!

** I really am a lot better (more fun) in "real life" then online !

* I enjoy meeting people / fun life






Note: " Michelle was busy picking me up" as in Hi, big smiles, getting very close, touching me, blushing, offered e-mail.
Smiles , play nice,

My actions on the forums absolutely show I am respectful.. I haven't ever said any of those other things. lol



I don't make claims of what I am.. I figure as in real life and online a person can figure that out for themselves what I am or they can actually ask me something they would like to know




Well I guess I am someone's leftovers that is just life. OR AS I prefer to think of myself I am going to one hell of a prize to someone as they are going to be for me.. The claims I can make about myself are things I know to be a fact..

1. When I choose to go for it I am all in.
.
2. I will give everything I have to the relationship an usually more than I knew I was capable of.

3. I am loyal beyond a doubt. I don't question or doubt who I am with when I choose to give that trust I give all of me, I don't question it once it is given.

4. I also know I am not a boring person since I have such a diverse interest in life. I am adaptable.

5. I will "always look at issues from their side as much as I will look at my side" I will always look for compromise so both can win.

6. I have been told by many I have a sexy voice so I "do" consider my voice as an asset.

I do socialize in the real world I have a wealth of friends that I treasure yet I am not into the bar scene or a lot of social places where singles meet and most at my age are married or so battle scarred I tend to shy away a bit. I also am a person that wants to know the other person before I leap.
I am also a person that isn't into casual sex so my options are few...

Why am I here I love the forums.. and the wonderful people I have met and the wonderful people I will meet.

Aaaahhhh, fess up folks, we are on here because we're all a bunch of geeks and losers who have no lives and nothing better to do than sit in front of a computer.

Well, I don't think of myself as a great catch. I am a good catch for a certain group of men and I have an idea of men I am interested in. I live in a small town so I am expanding my horizons to find someone to connect with.

Way back when there was newspaper and magazine dating sections where people were restricted by space or how many letters they could afford people had to concisely describe themselves in as positive a way as possible to be as attractive to as many people as possible.

People then went to the internet and brought that style with them.
And now it's just perpetuated.

Those people that are "everyone on dating sites say..." aren't taking a lot of time to think about what they're writing, they're just trying to get the quickest thing out there that conveys the most generally attractive qualities as possible to get the most amount of responses.


This seems to be like asking "if Mercedes' are such great cars, why do they have to resort to advertising?"


I think when you're over 30, 40, 50, 60, and you've been actively using online dating sites for 10, 20 years, then you can probably start considering you are either a "left-over" or you don't really want to be in a long term relationship.


Maybe the "right one" isn't falling at their feet.
Maybe people fall at their feet every day.
Maybe the people that fall at their feet are a certain type or "quality." But they're all the unwanted kind.
Maybe they've had so many "unwanted kind" falling at their feet those are the only kind they can really identify anymore.

They've acclimated to the ease by which they spot the "unwanted kind."
They may have the "right one" fall at their feet but since they don't really act the same as the "unwanted kind" their behavior is not understood.
Eventually, day after day after day of the "unwanted kind" falling for them they are going to go somewhere to 1. get away from them, 2. try a new venue to find the "right one."

If a million people come up and slap you and steal your money for every 1 person that comes up and ignores you as their way to communicate wanting to give you money, you're going to spend more time and learn to spot those that are going to hurt you, not give you stuff.
And eventually, you'll move and look for a place where people aren't slapping you.

Not to mention, one thing that isn't ever mentioned in this stuff ("funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar") is "highly capable in making good dating decisions and identifying the ideal partner."


The internet is just becoming "real life."
There is less disconnect.
There's less "live my life la dee da, then go home and sit on a desk top for too long oh no it's detracting from what I really want and should do, I have to disconnect, wake up and go back to my real life tomorrow, and then come back to my second world."
Internet is incorporating into basic social interaction and fulfilling what people want and should do in their daily life.
Some people treat it as a second existence. To more and more it's just real life.


There are always practical reasons not to do something.


IMO yes, if you're referring to something more like "bottom of the barrel" or the "dregs."
Online dating sites are no different than the corner bar.
Eventually, over time, it's mostly just the bar flies and alcoholics, and neighborhood regulars.
The "new meat" want the shiny new dance club that is catering to them.

I don't look at myself like I am a good catch for most women,but I could be for the right woman if there was a connection,and she would take the time to really know me.

I dont consider my self as a left over.....though, maybe a little....but I consider myself much more experienced and wiser.And the forums are where love and romance can be found...just like that....Oh! I can see where there are hooks up being pondered, connections being pursued, relationships actually being explored and must not forget....the alliances being formed....all-Star partnerships, if you will.....especially for the "Guys and Dolls game" ....Yup, .....its true.....just take a gander at the count they have racked up...???

ummmm ya I'm hiding out

A complete fabrication,,,,,, I sit in front of a phone.... check pls...

Ah..why online dating when you can find love by meeting people in real life..there is a history behind this and many reasons which makes it attractive. Sometimes it is because -
1. It is like a blind date but you know alot about the person beforehand.
2. You get a wider range of choices to choose from.
3. Too much busy with work and no social life.
4. You are comfortable to meet people on your computer rather than real life.
5. You feel it is a safe choice.

etc etc.....

Some very interesting points you raise there, Pacific! Esp. the points about if you get rejected or reject someone yourself.

On the other hand side, doesn't that sort of work against us? As in, because this part is easier, we easier talk to people without real interest in them? Or talk when we aren't willing/ready to make a commitment, because you know you can easily reject the other anyways. Something you wouldn't so easily get away with in real life...

Doesn't this enhance the playing field of the a-holes, I wonder?
And wouldn't it make us a tad lazy when it comes to dating, flirting and so on?

The section on the cost of dating .. yes! I have very little to spend, which makes going out / dating very difficult for me.
Online is easier, cheaper. Offers a greater 'assortment', but also means more sifting to do ... harder to find one that could really be the right one.

Well, not in the forums, hihi. But most people have those statements in their online dating profile.


I carefully chose "Leftover" as opposed to "loser", haha. I didn't want to affront anyone, including myself, as I'm here too, lol.


Yes, I have similar reasons for being online too. I live in such a remote area that the dating pool is meager, and indeed too many ppl that are battle scarred (nice phrasing :) )
But I also know I am sometimes using that as an excuse to not go out/date. If I'm honest, I just really don't like dating all that much. Once you've met someone and go on 2nd, 3rd etc. dates, yes! Great! Love that! But all those meet & greets ... I often just can't be bothered. And I know I will have to, otherwise I'll never meet someone.

Perfectly sound and realistic view :)

Yes, isn't it funny how that has changed ... not that long ago life evolved around what was on tv, now tv is starting to become less important to people.
Like what Ciretom said, internet connections are becoming more important and real.
I don't even own a big screen tv, nor do I want one. I got an old-fashioned, huge tv (that I seldom use). So heavy it takes a really strong man to lift it on his own. So I couldn't even get rid of it if I wanted to, haha.
For me, Mingle isn't a dating site really, it's the forums. Most people live too far away so it's pointless as a dating site. Guessing it's the same for you.
I'm on Dutch sites for that purpose.