Way back when there was newspaper and magazine dating sections where people were restricted by space or how many letters they could afford people had to concisely describe themselves in as positive a way as possible to be as attractive to as many people as possible.

People then went to the internet and brought that style with them.
And now it's just perpetuated.

Those people that are "everyone on dating sites say..." aren't taking a lot of time to think about what they're writing, they're just trying to get the quickest thing out there that conveys the most generally attractive qualities as possible to get the most amount of responses.


This seems to be like asking "if Mercedes' are such great cars, why do they have to resort to advertising?"


I think when you're over 30, 40, 50, 60, and you've been actively using online dating sites for 10, 20 years, then you can probably start considering you are either a "left-over" or you don't really want to be in a long term relationship.


Maybe the "right one" isn't falling at their feet.
Maybe people fall at their feet every day.
Maybe the people that fall at their feet are a certain type or "quality." But they're all the unwanted kind.
Maybe they've had so many "unwanted kind" falling at their feet those are the only kind they can really identify anymore.

They've acclimated to the ease by which they spot the "unwanted kind."
They may have the "right one" fall at their feet but since they don't really act the same as the "unwanted kind" their behavior is not understood.
Eventually, day after day after day of the "unwanted kind" falling for them they are going to go somewhere to 1. get away from them, 2. try a new venue to find the "right one."

If a million people come up and slap you and steal your money for every 1 person that comes up and ignores you as their way to communicate wanting to give you money, you're going to spend more time and learn to spot those that are going to hurt you, not give you stuff.
And eventually, you'll move and look for a place where people aren't slapping you.

Not to mention, one thing that isn't ever mentioned in this stuff ("funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar") is "highly capable in making good dating decisions and identifying the ideal partner."


The internet is just becoming "real life."
There is less disconnect.
There's less "live my life la dee da, then go home and sit on a desk top for too long oh no it's detracting from what I really want and should do, I have to disconnect, wake up and go back to my real life tomorrow, and then come back to my second world."
Internet is incorporating into basic social interaction and fulfilling what people want and should do in their daily life.
Some people treat it as a second existence. To more and more it's just real life.


There are always practical reasons not to do something.


IMO yes, if you're referring to something more like "bottom of the barrel" or the "dregs."
Online dating sites are no different than the corner bar.
Eventually, over time, it's mostly just the bar flies and alcoholics, and neighborhood regulars.
The "new meat" want the shiny new dance club that is catering to them.

Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

If you truly are all that, then why do you (have to) resort to dating sites to find dates/a partner?
Why can't you find one in real life? Or do you?

Just wondering if it's a myth that you only find "left-overs" online. I don't really believe that myth myself ...
But still ... if you are truly such a great catch ... men/women should be falling at your feet? So what the heck are you doing here?

-Do people not socialize enough anymore to find someone in real life?
-Are their practical reasons?
-Or are many ppl on dating sites "leftovers" after all?

What's wrong with leftovers?..
Leftover lasagna left over Pizza..
Leftovers are the best..lol..

There's Lotsa reasons for being on a dating site.. none of which have anything to do with being ..a left over... are disenfranchised...
It's just another tool in the dating Game Bang... I like to think of it as investing without actually investing..
Window shopping...lol.. and in the offline world people don't actually throw themselves at you.. and if you have a busy work life.. or family life..
It is actually hard to meet people to socialize with... if you work five maybe even six days a week.. not a lot of time in there.. that leaves you what! trips to the local grocery store.. maybe the weekend trip to the Home Improvement Box Store..hmm..
Oh @!!..I suppose you can always go to one of those loud obnoxious bars.. or perhaps a coffee bar somewhere, waiting, for your perfect match to come walking in.. and throw themselves at you... oh wait a minute here comes a very attractive brunette... and she has desperation written all over her.. yep !!..it's go time..lol..

Ah, so you don't frequent that bar that looks like a huge tin can?
Dang, why do I remember things that are absolutely not important? *scratches head, looking puzzled*

And wondering where you saw me? I was indeed out, but don't think I looked all that desperate?

Some very interesting points you raise there, Pacific! Esp. the points about if you get rejected or reject someone yourself.

On the other hand side, doesn't that sort of work against us? As in, because this part is easier, we easier talk to people without real interest in them? Or talk when we aren't willing/ready to make a commitment, because you know you can easily reject the other anyways. Something you wouldn't so easily get away with in real life...

Doesn't this enhance the playing field of the a-holes, I wonder?
And wouldn't it make us a tad lazy when it comes to dating, flirting and so on?

The section on the cost of dating .. yes! I have very little to spend, which makes going out / dating very difficult for me.
Online is easier, cheaper. Offers a greater 'assortment', but also means more sifting to do ... harder to find one that could really be the right one.