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| Topic: Friendship: Thanks Or No Thanks? | |
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A bit of a vague question, Peggy... You say "Online". What do you mean with "Online"? Do you mean in general, like social media, fora etc. Or do you mean Mingle? Or a dating site (not Mingle, a dating site without a forum)? If it's in general, there's nothing odd about a woman wanting friendship only. On Mingle also not odd if both are active on the forums and like each other that way only. On a dating site, however... Why would a woman on a dating site contact a man for friendship only? One would assume she's there to find herself a partner, as are the male counterparts. I am referring to mingle crystal , where the majority of people sign up for dating but a few do come for friendship as well. And I am mostly referring to people outside of the forum but it can apply to people inside the forum as well who.have not had any interaction with each other in the forum. Also crystal... How do you feel about a man who accepts your invitation for a clearly defined platonic friendship , but who accepts your friendship with the intent of luring you into a relationship ? Interestingly enough, I suspect that many men who say yes to being in the friend zone often do have intentions of challenging those boundaries. To be fair to those men, i do think a few women are flattered by such advances while others find it downright disrespectful. Hmmm ... depends. Thing is, I don't really believe in friendship between man & woman without any sexual tension whatsoever. Ppl say it happens, but I am not convinced. I think it is a rare thing to not have any sexual tension. Anyway, if my intentions were purely friendship, friendly, and a man kept trying to get more out of me, I would get seriously irritated. And yes, it would be disrespectful if I'd made myself clear several times, and he'd just ignore that. I'd probably end the friendship, cos it would be awkward for both, and hurtful for him. How can he ever get a partner if he's smitten with me? Then he best is 'cut loose' so he can get over it. I do think many men find those boundaries challenging, that's a typical male thing, part of the "hunt and conquer" thing so to speak. Boundaries will trigger that. But I don't think they are after a relationship, they just want to claim their "prize", proof of their masculine prowess. Yes I agree with you on the hunt and conquer thing as well as the irritation of a guy constantly challenging clearly defined friendship boundaries . And I was using the term relationship in a very politically correct way. We all understand the kind of relationships that many of them are aiming for. (Wink. Wink ...) |
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Yes, indeedy!
I added this to it, think you just missed it, both typing at the same time, haha. To add to that: I don't think a mentally/emotionally healthy man would chase after a woman who wouldn't want him. But the friendship-zone may turn those old-fashioned black & white areas into 50 Shades of Grey... Which leads us back to your original question ... |
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Fri 04/22/16 07:14 AM
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A real (even cyber) friendship happens naturally, so i have no problem with that. It's still a chemistry even if it's platonic. If the understanding and humour is there, why wouldn't we want to stay in touch ? As Joe said, good friends are few and far between. I'm lucky enough to have made a few friends from here and other sites, so i consider myself lucky even though i came here looking for a relationship... Another person who handles the friend zone with grace. This is encouraging to know , although I am empathetic to the fact that it is not for everybody. Cheers justforfun 
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No not interested to be put into someone's predetermined slot. Friendship is precious and is built
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No not interested to be put into someone's predetermined slot. Friendship is precious and is built Oh. I think I understand now. You don't want the person to propose the idea of friendship. You just want it to develop organically if life takes you there. Got ya millbanks! 
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This question is for the men mainly. But ofcourse the "womens " are welcome to weigh in as well. Guys.... If a woman online is attracted to your spirit and energy in your profile , and she is interested in you as a friend BUT NOT in a romantic or sexual way, ... Would you prefer it if she shoves her friendship intentions where the sun don't shine and leave you the hell alone? OR... Would you want her to still email you? yes, you can never have too many friends, be they online or real life friends. At least it shows they are interested in you as a person. |
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Edited by
Manturkey1
on
Fri 04/22/16 08:16 AM
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This question is for the men mainly. But ofcourse the "womens " are welcome to weigh in as well. Guys.... If a woman online is attracted to your spirit and energy in your profile , and she is interested in you as a friend BUT NOT in a romantic or sexual way, ... Would you prefer it if she shoves her friendship intentions where the sun don't shine and leave you the hell alone? OR... Would you want her to still email you? yes, you can never have too many friends, be they online or real life friends. At least it shows they are interested in you as a person. Good answer. |
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This question is for the men mainly. But ofcourse the "womens " are welcome to weigh in as well. Guys.... If a woman online is attracted to your spirit and energy in your profile , and she is interested in you as a friend BUT NOT in a romantic or sexual way, ... Would you prefer it if she shoves her friendship intentions where the sun don't shine and leave you the hell alone? OR... Would you want her to still email you? yes, you can never have too many friends, be they online or real life friends. At least it shows they are interested in you as a person. This is encouraging to hear . Thanks giant owl :) |
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Fri 04/22/16 08:37 AM
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This question is for the men mainly. But ofcourse the "womens " are welcome to weigh in as well. Guys.... If a woman online is attracted to your spirit and energy in your profile , and she is interested in you as a friend BUT NOT in a romantic or sexual way, ... Would you prefer it if she shoves her friendship intentions where the sun don't shine and leave you the hell alone? OR... Would you want her to still email you? yes, you can never have too many friends, be they online or real life friends. At least it shows they are interested in you as a person. Good answer. Counting your vote as a thanks too Manturkey
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Yes, indeedy! I added this to it, think you just missed it, both typing at the same time, haha. To add to that: I don't think a mentally/emotionally healthy man would chase after a woman who wouldn't want him. But the friendship-zone may turn those old-fashioned black & white areas into 50 Shades of Grey... Which leads us back to your original question ... To be honest my experience with men is that they generally believe that women will eventually want them sexually or romantically. Some of them see a woman's consistent care for them as a friend, as a sign that the woman is open to more, which I personally see as tied in with the "hunt and conquer" male intuition at work. .... which would explain why some of them are so mean and disrespectful when their advances are not entertained by women. Some of them find it shocking that a woman could be nice to them for years to them without it being linked to the power of their sexual charm. This is just my personal take on it ofcourse. Only the guys in question would know why they react in the ways that they do |
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To be honest my experience with men is that they generally believe that women will eventually want them sexually or romantically.
I don't, if that was the case i wouldn't have been single for as long as i have 
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I vote no thanks
what is this a poll thread and how come the guys are the only ones voting? 
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There is nothing wrong with being friends,friends of the other sex bring a different view and outlook on situations and it is refreshing.
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Nice try
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There is nothing wrong with being friends,friends of the other sex bring a different view and outlook on situations and it is refreshing. Yes, true. But if you have a lady friend, are your intentions / feelings really totally free from any sexual innuendo? Or do you still have the hope/thought in the back of your mind that maybe ... maybe ... just maybe! she might be willing to engage in more at some point in time? |
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I have some lady friends that convers from time to time but no intrest in having anything more.
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Edited by
dolphin0925
on
Sat 04/23/16 03:30 AM
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In some instances, other gentlemen take it as a challenge when a girl remains to be just a friend, hoping later to get the girl when they try harder. But the girl should be honest and straightforward to a man and not give him false hope, it's up to the man to accept defeat and just be friends nothing more. If he continues and still hopes for further relationship then it's not a girl's fault. But on the other hand some philandering nice men have other intentions in accepting a girl's friendship, in their minds they love to collect women so they could enjoy the moment of just flirting with them anytime they want even without commitment. But other honest and direct real men, they simply couldn't accept friendship with a woman. They would rather fail many times until they find the right one. Still there are very rare honest and real good men who simply accepts friendship and remains a true friend for a lifetime.
In my case, I would prefer not to give a man any false hope. I would be direct to him that all I want is friendship if he can accept that then it's up to him. If he's nice and treats me as a friend then it's okay to treat him in the same way, except when I will have a boyfriend after then I should set a limitation not to get too close with a man friend as it might cause problem with my boyfriend. |
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Brings up the ole.....man and a woman can never be just friends thingy huh!! I have many online women friends, who keep in touch on a daily basis...via messaging/email etc...But they all live pretty far away...so friendship is about all I got, and maybe, a place to stay if I ever do decide to holiday in their neck of the woods and vice versa...just saying...
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Still talk to her
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