I am sure all of us have encountered individuals whom we disliked almost immediately because of a bad first impression they displayed.

If you get a bad first impression of someone, are you GENERALLY open to giving them a second chance to redeem themselves?

If so , what might incline you or NOT incline you to give them a second chance?

1st impressions linger, but a lot of times I'm willing to give a 2nd chance.
Only if something was done that I couldn't forgive or get past.

Generally my "in person" first impressions are pretty much cut in stone. I think in person I put a lot of instinct and chemistry into the first impression and if that does not fly the relationship just is not going to work on any deep personal level. It seems futile to swim up stream and try to force something.

Especially if they are generally a good person and I don't want to beat either of us up for being who we are. I have tried a couple times and regretted it. So I tend to listen to the little voice that says "no way" early on. Even if it seems unfair or gets turned a little for the short term.

I have met a few people from on line that the first impression was different; less desirable, than the in person and vice versa so I tend to reserve the option that I might like/dislike them as I actually get to know them and hold off on drawing concrete conclusions.

Often the case even in on line friends. I can think of a few that I thought were bizarre and actually turned out to be really great people.

I'm usually right first time.
It's not bragging,
It's, sublime.
I can see through the veil
I can perceive your truth
Knew I should chucked ya off that roof!

This is a bit complicated.

"First impressions" are funny things. Mainly, they aren't scientific, especially not when the people forming the impressions are trying hardest to MAKE them scientific.

I'm thinking there, of this whole online meeting/dating scene. Notice how lots of people develop a whole concept-based approach to this? How they work out first, how to tell the scammers from the probably real people; then how to tell the "just here to chat" people from the ones serious about mate-hunting, and so on?

These are the kinds of people who, upon first meeting you, study every detail of your appearance and bearing, for hard clues to use to make a permanent decision about you. Comb your hair badly for the first meet, and you're toast.

The thing to realize is, that your first impression of anyone, is only really fifty percent about them. The rest of it is your prejudices, worries, prior experiences which you thought were true of EVERYONE, and so on.

Anyway.

To myself.

I guess I could say that there are two levels of "first impression" deals. Some things are guaranteed to make me put a person in the "never more than acquaintances" category and lock them there, and others fall into the more forgiving "we'll see how things go" bin.

Obvious "kill" stuff, includes a predisposition to use violence to "solve" problems with other people; intense anti-isms, which would obviously prevent useful communication, that sort of thing.

Stuff that might be better next time, can include how they dress, smell (up to a point), and behave themselves in a general way. Nervousness can cause all sorts of trouble, as I know from my own side of things, so I try to refrain from being TOO picky at first.

When it comes to the "looking at profiles" stage, I often check back on, and give "second chances" to profiles which I thought on first view made me or the other person incompatible, because I find that despite being ancient, I still am evolving in how I understand what people say about themselves.

Only if self interest is involved.
Like if an ongoing relationship with them is necessary, or desirable.

e.g. they're my boss, someone very attractive, a distant family member, a customer, an employee, my doctor.

But then it's not really about "giving" them a second chance, it's just paying attention to new information to adapt to what's necessary to facilitate the relationship.

Do I label someone "bad" as a first impression and then wallow in that judgment, looking to force everything they do into validating that judgment, passively allowing continued interaction solely for that reason?
No.

Do I go out of my way to facilitate continuing interaction with people solely for the purpose of trying to change my mind for no real reason other than to prove they are different than who I think they are from first impression?
No.


Self interest and/or potential fulfillment of desire.

People are generally good, and if given time everyone can find common interests. but I usually find that if someone upsets me, it's because they don't meet my expectations. In that case am I not the one who is guilty? What makes me feel I run the show?.. so if looked at in a reasonable light maybe I should not put such demands on others(mentally,physically,emotionally)

I usually am not that rigid. People especially folks who fly off the handle, got to give them lots of first impressions.

I'm glad you don't fly off the handle and are not rigid Because when I first saw your picture .. It made me think of Little Richard.. Hope I don't offen

Sometimes first impressions are deceptive, complicated or a dead giveaway....depending on circumstances and gender of the person...Everybody deserves a second chance....but that is where I personally, draw the line...just saying...

I am usually the one giving the bad first impressions...

naaaa man you get one chance

Depends on how bad the expression is.

I do find first meeting don't show the real person.

But in saying that the dates I had this summer I haven't communicated again with them. Lol I'm bad

I'm almost always right when it comes to first impressions. Intuition.
Yet, I have given people a 2nd chance, ignoring my intuition, and gotten hurt myself because of it.
So I'm trying to learn to not do that anymore.

Same here. I just say to hell with it, she can either accept me for who I am, and not who she wants me to be. women are very judgmental and claim they are not.
I had a 62yr old who was giving me advice about cleaning myself up grooming myself to be more presentable and even offer to come out and take me to a barber.
she stopped messaging me, when I asked, if we were in a public place, would you have come up to me as perfect stranger and offered this make over???

Im a true believer in first impressions. In the past I have ignored my first impression. Oh boy was I wrong for giving a second chance. Always go with your gut instinct.

You are alright..

Complicated question. In persin first impressions aren’t always accurate, so I’ll often give them more chances if my first impression isn’t so good. I usually wonder if I’m being to quick to judge, or if they’re awkward, or if I’m just being paranoid. Sometimes I’m really sorry that I gave them another chance.

True, Slap one cheek and I;ll turn the other ... Slap that cheek and all bets are off

And what if they’re just having a bad day?