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| Topic: First Impressions And Second Chances | |
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Complicated question. In persin first impressions aren’t always accurate, so I’ll often give them more chances if my first impression isn’t so good. I usually wonder if I’m being to quick to judge, or if they’re awkward, or if I’m just being paranoid. Sometimes I’m really sorry that I gave them another chance. True, Slap one cheek and I;ll turn the other ... Slap that cheek and all bets are off |
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1st impressions linger, but a lot of times I'm willing to give a 2nd chance. Only if something was done that I couldn't forgive or get past. 
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Lol
 I'm not always an A hole...
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Lol I'm not always an A hole...
Few people are 
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If we're all honest first impressions include two items;
1. Is their photo anywhere close to reality? 2. Does their personality come anywhere close to what is described in their profile? If they carry 30 to 50 pounds more than their picture, are 10 to 20 years older and don't possess an award winning personality this leaves a bad first impression of being dishonest. |
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I have learned over the years that first impressions
can be entirely misleading. I have met peeps who made my skin crawl, to find out later wonderful things about them, I had seen just a wee piece of who they were. Everyone has bad days (weeks, months haha) and I sure do not wish to be judged on a bad day, so I will always be open to the truth about somebody. |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Mon 02/22/16 05:05 PM
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If we're all honest first impressions include two items; 1. Is their photo anywhere close to reality? 2. Does their personality come anywhere close to what is described in their profile? If they carry 30 to 50 pounds more than their picture, are 10 to 20 years older and don't possess an award winning personality this leaves a bad first impression of being dishonest. That assessment can be tricky. People can look fatter or slimmer in pics according to the lighting, the angle and the clothes they are wearing. That doesn't mean they are lying about their appearance. And personalities are dynamic things. Two people can interact with the same person and have completely different impressions about that person and sometimes it simply has to do with chemistry or lack of chemistry between two combined energies. A person could be bubbly with one person and quiet and colourless with another, and it could simply be a result of incompatible energy. It is all subjective and in the end, a person's profile description is NOT the sum total of who they are, but that doesn't make them dishonest. |
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I have learned over the years that first impressions can be entirely misleading. I have met peeps who made my skin crawl, to find out later wonderful things about them, I had seen just a wee piece of who they were. Everyone has bad days (weeks, months haha) and I sure do not wish to be judged on a bad day, so I will always be open to the truth about somebody.
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If we're all honest first impressions include two items; 1. Is their photo anywhere close to reality? 2. Does their personality come anywhere close to what is described in their profile? If they carry 30 to 50 pounds more than their picture, are 10 to 20 years older and don't possess an award winning personality this leaves a bad first impression of being dishonest. That assessment can be tricky. People can look fatter or slimmer in pics according to the lighting, the angle and the clothes they are wearing. That doesn't mean they are lying about their appearance. And personalities are dynamic things. Two people can interact with the same person and have completely different impressions about that person and sometimes it simply has to do with chemistry or lack of chemistry between two combined energies. A person could be bubbly with one person and quiet and colourless with another, and it could simply be a result of incompatible energy. It is all subjective and in the end, a person's profile description is NOT the sum total of who they are, but that doesn't make them dishonest. Photos making one look a few extra pounds different and a couple of years different is one thing. Even a photo won't make a person look 50 pounds lighter. There are two items I look at before anything else: her age (needs to be somewhat close to mine) and her location. If she's 100 miles away I don't need to go any further. At my age a typical woman will have a "few" extra pounds, some wrinkles and silver hair. This is normal and not a problem. When her photo has no wrinkles, her physique is that of a 40 year old woman and her hair doesn't have the colorized look (blond, brown or black) she's uploaded an older picture. At my age I can recognize if a woman is old enough to be in her 50's or 60's. We all know this and to deny it is to deceive ourself. Some say "I don't look my age". Maybe by a few years but not by 20 years. |
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Well I think I have to separate this from for example here on the internet.
I have had first impressions by several people that I have had to take a step back and think dang woman you have misjudged them. I have also thought someone was awesome til I got to chatting privately and thought Oh lord thank God I didn't give them my phone number. 
In Person I rarely give first impression a thought. I take it easy and wait things out. I can only remember 2 incidents that I was glad I listened to my gut and kept my distance. Unless my inner gut is screaming at me then I listen and keep my distance. That has only happened 2x in the last 20 years. And I was thankful I listened. |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Tue 02/23/16 03:23 AM
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If we're all honest first impressions include two items; 1. Is their photo anywhere close to reality? 2. Does their personality come anywhere close to what is described in their profile? If they carry 30 to 50 pounds more than their picture, are 10 to 20 years older and don't possess an award winning personality this leaves a bad first impression of being dishonest. That assessment can be tricky. People can look fatter or slimmer in pics according to the lighting, the angle and the clothes they are wearing. That doesn't mean they are lying about their appearance. And personalities are dynamic things. Two people can interact with the same person and have completely different impressions about that person and sometimes it simply has to do with chemistry or lack of chemistry between two combined energies. A person could be bubbly with one person and quiet and colourless with another, and it could simply be a result of incompatible energy. It is all subjective and in the end, a person's profile description is NOT the sum total of who they are, but that doesn't make them dishonest. Photos making one look a few extra pounds different and a couple of years different is one thing. Even a photo won't make a person look 50 pounds lighter. There are two items I look at before anything else: her age (needs to be somewhat close to mine) and her location. If she's 100 miles away I don't need to go any further. At my age a typical woman will have a "few" extra pounds, some wrinkles and silver hair. This is normal and not a problem. When her photo has no wrinkles, her physique is that of a 40 year old woman and her hair doesn't have the colorized look (blond, brown or black) she's uploaded an older picture. At my age I can recognize if a woman is old enough to be in her 50's or 60's. We all know this and to deny it is to deceive ourself. Some say "I don't look my age". Maybe by a few years but not by 20 years. If the inconsistency between their age and the appearance in their profile pic is as extreme as you described, then yes. There seems to be some dishonesty there but the reference you made about personality, is alot more subjective |
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Well I think I have to separate this from for example here on the internet. I have had first impressions by several people that I have had to take a step back and think dang woman you have misjudged them. I have also thought someone was awesome til I got to chatting privately and thought Oh lord thank God I didn't give them my phone number.
In Person I rarely give first impression a thought. I take it easy and wait things out. I can only remember 2 incidents that I was glad I listened to my gut and kept my distance. Unless my inner gut is screaming at me then I listen and keep my distance. That has only happened 2x in the last 20 years. And I was thankful I listened. I'm with you on this. I am a big believer in getting to know people over time. I have gotten many pleasant surprises over the years by dismissing bad first impressions. But as you said, if my intuition screams at me, I do pay attention. As for dealing with emailers,. my intuition is wired a bit differently. I tend to give into my first impressions when it comes to matters of romantic chemistry online. If I am not feeling that connection from the earlies, I always think it is better for me to politely refuse further interactions. I dont want to give someone false hopes when I know from the onset that I am not clicking with them in that way. |
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"1st impression never last."
" Give a 2nd chance but dont be stupid anymore" |
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True, Slap one cheek and I;ll turn the other ... Slap that cheek and all bets are off Which cheeks are you referring to? 
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I am sure all of us have encountered individuals whom we disliked almost immediately because of a bad first impression they displayed. If you get a bad first impression of someone, are you GENERALLY open to giving them a second chance to redeem themselves? If so , what might incline you or NOT incline you to give them a second chance? I don't particularly think they have to redeem them selves... I have been on a few dates ... and feel I or them just was not ... or could be compatible with each other... and thought ... we should not waste each others time ... becouse their would be someone out there ...that would be better for each of us... but most of the time... I get the gist of what they want ...
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