From my point of view, if the marriage failed, both failed.

Yes, I agree with you.

I don't know I couldn't read any further pass the oP bragging about his sexual prowess... kind of lost me at that point.. it just turned into blah blah blah... something something I don't know my own mind... but hey good luck with that though op..

Amazing that most everyone tells to kick her to the curb ...

Whenever someone posts a tome complaining about their ex/partner, whinging and whining, they themselves are the ones who need help, not their ex/partner.

So ... grow some baws, take responsibility for your own chit, get therapy. Stop blaming others for your problems.

As for toys ... if I have to resort to toys, our sexlife is seriously down the drain, up to the point that the relationship is about to be over.
Do the woman a favour and leave her so she can find happiness again.

Amazing Grace..
plz kick out my Ex..
n some bread
in the mouth of my babes..

I am calling BS on this story. I have seen some dumb women in my day but one kid or six anyone who would put up with this clap trap nah not happing. She might leave a guy once or even twice but keep having babies not happening.

isaac_dede I appreciate the posts even the ones I don't like but I tried to be as honest as I could be that is why I included my sexual history and no I am not saying I am a sex god I was just saying I don't take sexual ventures lightly and I'm not saying anything bad because I don't know you but if that is how you took that then it would seem that maybe you might have unsolved issues yourself and she didn't only loose her sexual drive when she was pregnant and if she didn't want more than one kid she should have told me and I would have had to stay or go but at least I would have had the choice I put myself out there so I could get an honest answer from a woman you know someone who might be able to tell me there personal experience and about me cheating on her is not the case I had talked to her before I left the house and I didn't do anything with anyone till I was out of the house and we were separated I have never cheated on her unlike her she never said anything just up and one day ripped my world apart with no warning in fact just the apposite she was acting like we was happier than ever and now she has done it twice

I wasn't bragging I was just trying to be honest and how am I going to get an informed opinion if I don't give all the facts

I'm sorry if you took it as complaining but I wasn't I was just trying to get good answers that pertained to my question and in order to do that I just stated the facts

she maid the decision to keep me in the marriage by having more kids and by doing other things she would never even compromise on before and there is nothing about this story that is made up as I have said in my other posts I was just being honest and if your going to get correct answers ( not just what you want to hear ) I feel you have to be honest and disclose any information pertaining to you question I thank you for your reply though and hope I didn't make you upset

Hey Dude,
it takes courage to speak about one's life and subject it to examination by 'strangers' how-so-ever well meaning.

let's see you are what 34? Real life actually begins at 35 plus.

also Mingle2 people generally speak openly based on their experiences; me? i tend to speak spontaneously; mood of the moment; but our friends reflect & then respond; so if there is a pail of ice cold water dropped on you by a member; hey; that's what friends are for, right?

You are straddling a tough bar; at least tougher than whatever i have faced in life. May be over time, some solution may be worked out; may require that woman on her flying stick to come down to earth; is all i can see.

meantime enjoy life; take her out on a vacation, anything different;
give her something beyond the chains of motherhood.
Best wishes.

Tell her lying *** to keep her toy cause youre not going to be one for her anymore. Move on. Make it civil and all about you and the kids.

did you meet the girl before or after you were separated?...according to the OP you had feelings for a girl at work...and you knew something was going to happen...all before you separated.

My point is you were already looking outside the marriage before you separated, you may not have acted on it, but you were actively looking.

And legally speaking if someone is separated they are still married and anything that happens during this period is still considered adultery(cheating) you have rationalized your cheating....but it's still cheating.

I stand with my first response. Get rid of her. It seems that you are waiting for everyone to agree with you: stay with her. Move on.

First I am going to try to break this down into paragraphs so I dont miss something. Paragraphs can be a good friend to you. I do get that you are emotionally charged with this post but for us readers please do them next time.

Okay..Where to start..
You both married when you were kids... Honestly there is no way you can possibly know what you are going to want 10 years down the road people change etc...
I am going to take sex out of the equation since that is just a small part of the problem as I see it.

I Honestly see two people that were young and dumb and went into the blaming game when the honeymoon period was over and has been playing games ever since. I am not saying that to be mean I am saying it honestly I have seen this way to many times. I also believe you both at times gave it your all. Now you both are at the stage of "Now what"

The extra marital affairs on both sides equal out sorry that is the way I see it. You moved out and yet you still had sex with her... So you were cheating either on her or on the new one. She then cheats on you...Doesn't matter the time table in reality.. So IMO both wipes the slate clean. Also I have to tell you I really believe that when a relationship fails even if cheating is involved both are at fault.

Has either one of you realized that many use cheating as the worst way to hurt someone. As far as sexual toys some couples have enhanced their relationship with them others haven't totally a personal choice.

My Advice is no one on this site can tell you what to do. What I would tell you is if you love this woman and you are inclined to try to work things out..Don't walk but run to the nearest Relationship therapist you can find. The one thing I have to stress is that you both have to want it and have to do some growing up in life.

In therapy you both will hear things that you will not want to hear. You will feel at times as if you have a dull knife carving your guts up.

I have seen couple that have parted and I have seen couples that have grown stronger.

I think you are more hurt and angry that she chose to leave the home with the kids etc... Ask yourself do you really want her or do you want the security of the relationship and you love your kids.

I can tell you even if you divorce you can be a great father if you choose to be. My son is doing it and his daughters and him are close. Is it easy nope but he is doing it.

Best wishes in what ever you choose.

\\\\\\\\from my experience one can be compassionate to parents, kids, even neighbors and even stupid enemies but for some strange reasons, a negative feeling kicks in wherever Ex's are concerned; may be cause Ex's are so part of the home that we knew or something.



I agree with don't walk, run; but what's wrong if they run to her parents and seek their help / viewpoint, whatever? After all her parents are stakeholders to the grandchildren. Yeah, the man may get the third degree from his in-laws before reality kicks in all around. For children's sale, why not?

I would never recommend going to a family member or close friend, a relationship therapist... A professional is what I would recommend.

I am also not advocating raking anyone over the coals. I believe it takes two and the pointing finger blame game is a waste of time.

Communication is vital

Ya you write,,

Thank you so much for the response I have recently found out that she has been on different dating sights and has begun a practice of doing sexual favors for monetary gain. I think my life is over I loved her with all I had and she just threw it away.