Nope, tried to answer those kinds of questions before leaving. No answers = no relationship.

yes I agree.

thanks jaan, your right it does and I really admire the honesty and courage of the people who posted. I know it wasn't easy for everyone.

Great thread as well, lots of insight. Wish I knew what I could have done to save either one of my marriages. First one, married out of college, two kids, professional careers, house in the burbs. But drifted apart, I thought once the kids were raised, then bills/house/cars paid off, then it would be our time. But she couldn't wait, hit that mid-life crisis at 40, left me and started dating younger guys.

Second wife, 11 years younger than me, thought we where a great match and had similar interest for our future. I'm looking back thinking she had mild depression, because the last 3 years of our 6 year marriage, was first, sexless, second, she couldn't even get out of bed on the weekends. So I had to do everything, then we had the Talk. And she expected me to fix our marriage, what she really wanted was for me to fix her self inflicted financial problems, which I had already done twice before. It took her no time to run out the door, find another guy, which I just found out bought her a house. She still says she loves me, and wish I would have fixed our relationship. But that's because she knows I try very hard to be financially fit and able to provide that type of security she needs.

I know at the exact moment when I screwed up....


it was when I said "I do"

Funny Isaac, I agree, that's when the friendship ended, sex became a chore and all fun went out the window.

it sounds like you did everything you could. thank you.

I have heard this so much, everything was great until we got married.

I have wondered if people stop trying now that commitment is official, but it doesn't always appear that way.

Its only a piece of paper in my eyes,i would already have made that commitment without saying vows and making it all official, so I don't get why this happens so much.

Im thinking I shouldn't get married lol

mine was actually more than that.

I was signed up in the Navy and had a ship out date in February, I got engaged in December, I originally planned on being engaged while I went to my military training (8 months) then at the end come back and get married.

But I listened to the advice of her father (he was in the Navy fo 28yrs) and he explained the benefits she'd be getting, thr extra pay I'd be getting etc etc...and against my better judgment I married her 3 days before I left.....

she cheated in me 4 weeks later while I was still in bootcamp, and I initially wanted to have the marriage annulled but again I spoke with both her parents and mine and we(myself included) thought we could still maje it work. ...so we stayed married, 4 years later she cheated on.me with 4 other people (that I know of) while I was on deployment. ..that's when I stopped listening to other people o our relationship and got divorced. So yeah I knew from the moment that I said "I do" that it was most likely a mistake. ..turned out I was right lol

so sorry Isaac, totally her loss and her behavior was disgusting, I cant stand cheating . Im glad you stopped listening to them and listened to yourself.

it's all good, not sure what I would've done if I was single in Singapore. ..I probably would have come back with a wife like 3 of my buddies

Hi debbie, sorry about the 'oops' post. I tried posting and discovered I was too raw at this time and the chances of my ex seeing it is not something I wish for
This thread is sad and interesting at the same time....
The great testimony here is the strength of people.

its ok I understand.

in some ways I regret posting this thread now, I do feel guilty and bad.

sorry if I caused any upset to the people who posted and those who didnt, that was never my intention, I just asked out of curiosity and I guess I just didn't think it through well enough.

sorry.

Dont be sorry, it is a great thread. I am sure people feel more connected with others just by sharing. I found a post here that was my marriage exactly and I felt less alone and more encouraged to see they got through and are an awesome person today....

one of the best threads I have read or taken part in Debbie in my opinion

thanks both

No because I did all that I could possible do. And stayed in the marriage until i realize i did not want my children growing up thinking this is what love was. When he got abusive it was time to go.

I understand when abuse (verbal or physical) comes into play and having to end a marriage. But what about when that isn't the case, you don't really fight or argue, you sleep every night in the same bed. To the world, you seem like a perfect couple, but behind closed doors you have become roommates. No intimacy, maybe a good bye peck on the check at best.