So my Ultimate Problem is that I have been a Virgin for far too long now and that it has slowly started to depress me and make me question why I am here and so on. However after finally deciding it might be worth just paying for a cure so I could move on and lose the angst I've built up about it, I decided to contact an Escort company.

After a few exchanges of emails and telling them my issues about losing it and the fact that I have mentally obsessed about it to the point whereby I effectively have genophobia or a fear of sex, they have assured me that all my worries will be discreetly and calmly resolved and that I would feel comfortable losing my burden.

Although I now have a deep urge to book a hotel and book an escort for the night during my week off work coming up, I'm still not without doubts. My mind is thinking just get it over and done with and move on but my other mind thinks about the cost and what happens if the person on the other end of the emails simply built my hopes up and that the actual session becomes an ordeal or nightmare.

I thought I'd allow other peoples view to shower down on this scenario and hear their thoughts to see if that helps my decision.

Well, your 27 and you haven't been l**d yet?.. ordeal or nightmare, chances are it will be over in 3.5 minutes.

what the hell, go for it. JMO

May I ask why you dont wait to experience this with a future love?
There is nothing to be ashamed of to be a virgin.

Simply because since I have been looking (around age 16) nothing has come my way and things (IMO) are just going to get worse or harder the older I get. It has been over 11 years and I am tired and fed up of waiting. I have got to the point where I can sit and watch porn for 2-3 hours and still fail to jerk off because it doesn't stimulate me anymore. I am fed up of waiting for that person who is "just around the corner". It is one giant corner. Besides if I lose my virginity I won't have all the psychological bullcrap going on in my head anymore which might allow me to think straight for the first time in 11 years and might actually help me find someone as opposed to me thinking that relationships are all about sex.

IMO if you are watching porn and jerking off you aren't a virgin anymore.

IMO "virginity" has a naivety and innocence component to it.
It's not just "haven't had penis and vaginal interaction."

You know how sex works.
You know how to have sex.
You know where everything goes.
You know how to please yourself.
You know the dangers, and risks, and emotions involved.
You know the pleasures of orgasm.

IMO you aren't a virgin.

You're simply an adult male that doesn't have sex.

Celibate, sure. Virgin? No.


Not necessarily.
You can just as easily have all this psychological bull crap going on in your head and it just switches to something else.
Instead of feeling bad about being a virgin, now you feel bad for not having a wife, or not having kids, or not having done it sooner.

Putting your penis into someone isn't going to fix your psychological problems.

Although, fixing your psychological problems may help you in your quest to put your penis into someone.


Exact same thing can happen in a "normal" (non escort or direct business transaction based) relationship, especially one based on online.


Sex is not really going to change anything.

Take it from me things get easier as you get older.

lu10nt

I'm not one for giving advice because really I know jack chit myself.

But trust me on this one, an escort is not the answer, think of the diseases you could end up with, think of the disappointment when it's over, you will be ashamed of yourself.

For what it's worth my advice would be this,
take it easy,
wait for the right girl,
fall in love,
and everything in the garden will be rosy.

There's no shame in being a virgin that's for certain.
Think of the shame of using a girl for her body, almost like ordering a steak at a restaurant, because paying for an escort is just that.

I don't care what anyone thinks of escorts or prostitutes or whatever you want to call them, they are somebody's daughter and using them because you have the money is wrong, pure and simple.

Using anyone just like that is wrong, even without money involved...

oh for gosh sakes, quit being so cheap and just go get youse a hooker...believe me, the load yer gonna blow after 11 yrs is going to make you feelz like your Vesuvius!

I totally agree with Ciretom.

But if you really want to have sex, why not indeed go for an escort. Less pressure than having sex with a date.
That's why I don't agree with other that say 'wait till you meet the right one'. You'r prolly feel too stressed then if it's your first time ever.

And if you don't want sex, then don't have sex.

Like Ciretom said, get some psychological help. That would be the best way to go about it.

Going for escorts is a slippery slope, especially if you are rich, but unfortunately that's not what you need. You need love of a women and you can only get it if you reach out to them.

Be an extrovert, talk your heart out to your female acquaintances and visit places that could have ladies of your 'type' and most importantly, don't look for perfect 10s. I am afraid your specifications are too tight about your would be partner...the reason you haven't had a women yet.

would you enjoy sex with a stranger?
does it feel right paying for it?

what's the rush?

you could be so nervous its all over in a few seconds, and like someone else said, would you feel ashamed after and regret it? and when you do meet the right woman, you may wish you had saved yourself for her.

to me sex is crap unless there's love there.

my advice would be to wait until you meet the right woman and fall in love and have meaningful sex.

And like joe said, sexual transmitted diseases? and even with a condom you can still contract genital herpes and warts, because these are transferred by skin to skin contact.

JESUS CHRIST DAD!!!!!!!!.. Don't you believe in knocking first!!!

To the OP: this is harsh but, going only on your profile & what you have said in your post: you may have missed a couple of chances w/women who would have slept with you b/c you deemed them not attractive enough. I refer to the part of your post where you mention porn: if those ladies are what you want, then you will have to move to Tarzana California in the U.S. where most of them work. Real women don't look like that nor act like that.

You have probably got in your circle of friends at least one average looking female that would hook up w/you if you courted her instead of friend zoning her. But you just don't "see" her as a object of sexual desire b/c she is average looking. I do agree it is important to experience the physical act of PIV sex to get it off your bucket list. I don't agree that an escort is the right way to do it. However, if you can control the situation as to who, where & when completely that may alleviate some of the potential dangers of the escort option.

Sorry to sound like a bad PUA but: go to a bar just before closing & try to get with one of the ladies that are still there at that time. Should be easier since...oh god I can't believe I'm saying this...since you each become each others only option for the night if they want sex. Yes, it will be awkward in the morning or even a hour later LOL!, but, you will have done the deed & can move on to obsessing about something else. Good luck!

I love it when people that have no idea talk. I missed only ONE opportunity and that was primarily because of the risks involved and I stated that I didn't fancy her as much as my mate because my mate literally obsessed about her. Everyone's idea of porn is different. You think I want other men thrust their watchtower into the abyss, hell no. I can't stand watching porn that involves another guys tower its a turn off for me. I watch a variety of porn but to be honest I mostly watch hentai stuff because it can go beyond the bounds of reality because I have desensitized to the basic normal stuff.

My friend circle is Me and two male friends, not a girl in site. I would love to just have one girl in the friend zone let alone have the option of changing that. The girl mentioned previous that I was close to at one point, yeah that was nearly ten years ago and she came into my shop yesterday with a push chair with a 1 year old. Besides I think my Escort Option is way better than getting the biggest drunken reject in the bar at night.

Friend ..... you have written my mind here .... i have gone through this dilemma .... and would love to share my experience.

Till the age of 26 i was a virgin and i was so much obsessed with sex that every minute of day i used think abt sex only (i mean it) .... obviously it was affecting my life - personally and professionally.

Out of this obsession, i started visiting dating sites to find someone ..... and the result - I ended up having sex with a fat women of age 38 .... as someone said, sex ended in 2-3 minutes ... But later there was 'Sea of Guilt' in my mind and trust me i was ashamed of myself.

After few days, again the sex obsession started taking over feeling of guilt and again i visited the lady .... had a sex .... again felt guilty ... this happened lot many times.

Over period of 3 years, before I got married, i had a sex with 12+ women ... most of them were escorts .... 'wasted' lot of money but no peace of mind.

So i would like to suggest you to engage yourself with your friends ... be social ... who knows you will find a girl.

If you go by my path ... u'll end up in feeling guilty .... u'll waste money .... there wont be peace of mind ... trust me.

Agreed to both of these posts

27 years old..didn't you go to college?


well I am about to go against most female opinions in here and say go ahead hon if its eating away at ya

just make sure to wrap it first

Going to a escort will satiate your physical virginity.....
But will do nothing to satiate your emotional virginity....
Good luck...