In many cultures a woman's parents were paid to seal the marriage deal, shouldn't women be paid today for this marriage deal?

Most marriages that end in divorce are over money and then the man ends up paying for it anyway. So, it makes sense to pay beforehand.

Marriage deal? Sounds like trading cattle! The only marriage deal should be the one between the bride and groom and that's their vows to each other!

kind of a crass and simplistic analogy... and opens a lot of misinterpretations...

that's my only comment

Is there a full refund option?

According to my research it's all true. If anyone has a good argument, no insults please, go for it. I don't think women are cattle and I don't claim any religious or cultural beliefs in my argument. If most marriages that end in divorce, end due to money, and men need to pay the women alimony or child support when they are not anymore on good terms, it seems beneficial to do all this before marriage when they are still able to be in the same room with each other and the kids are not yet in the picture so don't feel like pawns.

A refund policy would be nice. ;)
Yanno? In case she's defective.


Estelle, if you research further,
many societies have been matriarchal.


But, many other societies, the woman's family
had to pay the man for marrying her.

No refunds after 30 days!

I think you got your facts all wrong...

It was woman who needed a dowry to bring to her husband on their marriage, not the other way round ....
That's why having many daughters was/is quite something... if you want to find them all a good husband, you need a good dowry for them.

Saw this docu on a Indian family few years back, reasonably poor family with I believe 3 or 4 daughters. The father's life was consumed by making enough money for his daughters' dowry. It was all he was doing, day in day out, year in year out. And he seemed to not mind, loved it, loved his daughters and working his butt of to give them what they needed in the end.
But what a way to live.
.
.

That depends on the country. There are many Muslim countries where women are paid not the men. I was thinking of all those countries.
Also, Germany and many Eastern European countries used to pay women.

For those who say women are not cattle, then why is it women still do and are expected by men and society to do the housework and childcare for free.

Well, whatever you say... but like you say "used to"... There's a gazillion things that 'used to be', most went obsolete for a reason.
I rather not be bought like a piece of meat.
I think what you're trying to say with your topic is that women should get respect. But being paid to marry is not the way to get respect.
The 'payment' for marriage and relationship should be love, respect, trust and communication, not money.

If you feel you need to get paid for partnership, then you're already in a place where you don't expect to get any of these things. Meaning your heart is closed, meaning you won't find what I think it is you crave... --> Love respect and trust cannot be bought.

housework and childcare as u put it are part of a normal life.women have kids so they r the nurturers.a man cannot breastfeed etc.nowadays men and women usually help each other with things.marriage isn't a sale its a special bond between 2 people who love each other.sheesh

I'm trying to say that women still do this work and men don't. Yet women work outside and are paid just like men. But at home there is no equality still.

ok I could blow yer theory out the water.short synopsis of my story.when I was 19 I went to morocco a 100 percent muslim country for my friends wedding to a Moroccan.i fell in love with his brother came home, many mths of letter calls etc I went back.i got married and lived in khemisset with him for 18 yrs.ok my point is this is a country totally muslim where you would think your theory would be true but wrong.my husband did all the shopping worked full time as a carpenter came home and helped me clean and do the cooking.no money was exchanged and in a country that is like morocco(not what the tourists see) its supposed to have the image of what u mentioned but far from it and this was way back some years when u would have thought the above applied.i also had a small job.it doesn't apply to every muslim country.yes some are supressed etc but you are generalising about things you haven't experienced.anyhoo end of story lmao sorry for boring u

Yes, that's right... but it's not just men demanding and expecting this, it's often women who expect themselves to be perfect employees, perfect partners, perfect housewives and perfect mothers. There aren't enough hours in the day to be perfect in all these roles.

When I worked and my child was ill, I wanted to be home for my child. It would've been difficult for my partner to take time off, as he had a fulltime job, was the breadwinner, not me, plus he was often far away from home for his work, I wasn't.
But more importantly: I wanted to be there for my child, I would have felt awkward about him being there instead of me. So apart from practical reasons for me staying home for my child, I put that burden on myself as well.

My daughter, so the next generation... when her husband helps out in the kitchen... she constantly corrects and comments on what he's doing. Because he does it differently from her, and she wants it done exactly the way she does it. And mind you, we are talking cutting chicken breast here, nothing important.
So I'm trying to teach and guide her in these things when they come up, because it is not right to do this.
If she continues to do this, pretty soon he will not help out anymore, definitely won't take pleasure in helping his wife out, because he just gets whinged at.

And so on and so forth. It's not just one gender that causes this. It's both. And like everything, it's a learning curve for both genders. Trying to find the balance in a new situation (both partners working).

Us women can do our own thing to guide the change along by allowing our partners to help out to begin with, not be critical when he doesn't do it the way we would have done it. Learn to let go of that control and be pleased with the result. Within reason of course, but I think that's self-explanatory, as we're talking about adults.

Apart from all that, my husband did plenty of stuff after work, heavier things in the garden, repair & maintenance work in and around the home, maintenance of the car, he looked after the rabbits. He didn't get paid for that either. We don't get paid for everything we do in life. He also helped with the kids (bathing, putting them to bed etc.), cleaning and often cooked.

So the man pays one lump sum up front.. in advance?..

You don't even offer a installment plan.

That sounds a bit like the man is "hiring" his wife, Estelle

So how about this:

I'll give you a lump sum... in escrow. Then you will be evaluated every 6 months (a wife review), if you pass your review with a 90% mark or above you get to keep 2%. If you don't , you don't get the money. If you fall to under 90%, a corrective action plan will be drafted for you to improve in the areas that you need improvement in. Of course a outside entity would draft the plan.. and you would sign it.

I ( since this is really a financial matter) have to protect my interests, so I would reserve the right to have resumes of other wife candidates.. at all times. And at times new notices would go out to keep the candidate pool up to date.

Should you every fall below the 70% mark. You would fail as a wife and the replacement process would start.

How does that sound?

At home there is no equality? Maybe in your home there wouldn't be? In mine my missus is a star! She's the fabric that creates our home and I'm part of that also! Fair enough, I work all day, but I have a business to run and people to pay at the end of the week also. When I come home though I pull my weight in the house, as that's my duty, as a husband and a father! Estelle, your experiences are holding you back from ever being happy with a guy, as you have too much resentment inside you, at this moment in time!

respect tim and morning chuck