Although in western countries domestic violence is illegal, the levels are still too high, in a way resembling countries in the middle east where much of domestic violence is not illegal. What do they have in common then? The west and the middle east share patriarchal system. What if patriarchal societies changed to matriarchal, would this solve most of the problems between men and women?

sadly, nope

I think you're being a bit pessimistic. Do you care to elaborate?

Yes.
You cannot have a matriarchal society without respect for one another.

human nature is human nature...
doesn't really matter which gender you put on top.
if woman governed over man, it doesn't necessarily solve or lessen problems between the two genders, it is just a different set of problems to deal with, but just as likely to be on similar issues as those of a patriarchal one..

A matriarchal society is not about women ruling men ...
The fact that men have ruled over women in the patriarchal version is related to the masculine aspect, an overdose of it.
The feminine doesn't have this 'quality'. A matriarchal society is about ppl being equal, truly equal. About respect, regard for the individual, from the heart, not from the head.
It means there can be, and would be, a balance between the masculine and feminine, the way it is meant to be. When we are equal, balanced on the inside and out, we complement each other. It won't be about ego, status, money so much anymore, but about happiness, respect.

I always call it 'the Star Trek concept'. If we'd go into space being patriarchal and all, we'd interfere, ruin and trash societies, if we'd find them. If we'd do so being matriarchal, we'd do what Star Trek did. Not interfere, respect, open minded, eager to learn from other species and societies. But if need be, ready to defend in order for our species to survive. But aggression and the drive to command and conquer wouldn't be what'd drive us anymore.

It's also not human nature to suppress, hurt and abuse others. It's to do with an imbalance on the inside, too much masculine energy, and fear...


It's by no means about women ruling men, au contraire ..
.
.

now i think...that would be a utopian society

but i do know for a fact that being female does not preclude one from having ambitions and the desire to have power over another...regardless of gender, race, creed, relation, upbringing, etc ...i don't think it is an exclusively male quality. vice versa situation applies also...

Maybe read a bit more on the subject?
It's not just masculine/feminine on the outside, EVERYONE has BOTH in them too. Yin and Yang. Yin (feminine) has a bit of Yang (masculine) and Yang (masculine) has a bit of Yin (feminine). Just look at the symbol... Where one ends, the other continues, fluently, they complement, embrace each other.
Patriarchal society would be represented by Yang being much much bigger than Yin, overwhelming and almost consuming the entire Yin part of the symbol. Going around it, containing and restricting it, almost crushing it with its Yang force.
That's the society we've been raised in...

Aggression (abuse, suppression of the feminine, ego driven society etc) are part of the masculine, the IMBALANCED masculine. This is what patriarchal society is about.
So it's quite logical that growing up in a patriarchal society has an impact on women. Most women have a serious imbalance INSIDE (men do too, also logical as both are connected). From the moment we were born, we were forced to take on board masculine things and suppress our own innate feminine nature, as there was/is no space in society for the feminine. Thank God that is changing! as we are headed towards a matriarchal society.

Which again is NOT about women ruling men. It's about a society that is represented by the Yin Yang symbol. Both are as big or as small, both are equal, both are equally important. One flows into the other fluently without losing its identity. Just look at the Yin & Yang symbol.

This: "Maybe read a bit more on the subject?"... I meant in a positive way, just realized it may sound patronizing, don't mean it that way. Just that there are so many aspects, psychology, history etc involved, that it's almost impossible to explain on a forum. So if it interests you... read about it!

mmm...ok..i can follow your philosophy on that
but i still think the term matriarchal is not necessarily fully reflective or the appropriate term for the philosophy you expounded on...
maybe opie can elaborate on the definition first...?

no worries...
i can understand the yin yang/ masculine feminine/ sun moon/ valley mountain/ earth sky, etc philosophy... balance on things. i know where you're coming from.
but the thing is, that's precisely what the above is... balance, equality, utopia..etc. it simply means that both components ought to live in harmony based on the differences each can compliment on the other.
but from what i understood from opie's sentiment, and generally speaking... if you use the term patriarchal, then that means an elder male or male figure is the head of the group, whereas in matriarchal, it is an elder female or female figure. either term's origin connotes that one gender has a higher position of power or respect than the other.

the bigger problem i think, regardless of what gender is leading the pack, is that more often than not, power and respect are abused, while responsibility and accountability are ignored... and in doing so, one does put more emphasis in achieving personal gain through aggression and manipulation, rather than empathy and compassion...
so in that respect, yes... if a person can get in touch with both sides of his or her inner self and find a balance between one's masculine and feminine, then it would be an answer to many, if not all problems.

man, be a man but get in touch with inner female
woman, be a woman but get in touch with inner male
win-win

Pansytilly- I don't think I need to define matriarchy unless you don't know the definition but you have search engines to read more about it.

lol...i did that too... just to make sure

With that thinking, it would make no difference if women had the right to vote, since you make no differentiation between men and women.

There's so many different views on what it means, that maybe we should just invent a new word for it, lol.
Indeed not easy to talk about it if everyone holds a different view of what it entails :/

both have the same right to vote, one just as valid as the other's

yuh... semantics...

but i will read more on the idea you were mentioning

I thought we already lived in a "kinder, gentler" society where men are emasculated. A typical male, not all, is naturally aggressive, dominant, violent, loves to be at one with nature. The way that society is shaped and structured today by Western standards, we teach men to be kinder, love all animals, be sensitive, be nurturing, all typical female qualities. By the yin and yang philosophy, we are making men more yin, less yang. To combat this imbalance and gender confusion and to deal in a more feminine driven world where the natural testosterone driven violence and aggression in men is frowned upon, what do men do?

They go hiking, whitewater rafting, jumping out of parachutes, thrill seeking, play violent video games, jump into mosh pits at concerts, have an obsession with sports, join the army, etc. In the old days, men truly ruled over women and that world was driven by violence and chaos. The women could not adjust so we changed the world for women in many ways, via work, voting rights, positions of power, voice in society. Now, men are having similar struggles adjusting in a feminine driven world based on their biology. We can never really live in each other's world. One will always be one up on the other and the other will always struggle or feel oppressed. Welcome to the real world.

i know that. but i was referring to "matriarchal" vs "patriarchal" in relation to your original post.
i think iamwhoiam answered the question very well
Also, i said what i said before because i live in a region where matriarchy is part of the culture...

Men and women in the USA and the UK can vote and hold any public office.
In the USA (at least) men and women have equal rights.
So, what is this "patriarchal system" that you speak of?

The US has never, ever had a woman for president.
Domestic violence is overwhelmingly violence toward women.
Over sexualization of women in every aspect of western media.
Housework is still done overwhelmingly by women.
Single mothers are far more common than single fathers.
Women live in poverty more than men.
Women in most jobs are paid less than men.
Women are promoted less than men.
Women are too often the main financial providers of children and that number is growing.
Women remain the sole or primary caregivers of children.