"Unseen Ways"

I love you as the morning dew that grows on every leaf,
Returns each day to think of you before I take leave.

I love you as the clouds that form the shapes of things we see,
And everyday to float the skies then come back to the sea.

I love you as the soil embraces the root that takes it's hold,
To grow beyond all expectations that I never could behold.

I love you as the glaciers carved the valleys and the peaks,
The melting ice flows on and onto rivers and to creeks.

I love you in the ways unseen as the changing of the tide,
Subtly, surely, slowly...serene...each passing, I do bide.

"Night owl"

In restless slumber I awake,
With orange hues all around,
Reluctantly I turn my place,
Drowning out the sights and sounds.

I rest my head upon the surface,
Staring at the pale lit wall,
Planning out my day's to-do,
Filing papers making calls.

Hustling and bustling day to day,
Traffic noise and swarms galore,
Rushing here while being there,
Mechanical grindings evermore.

I watch the sunset pass you by,
As nighttime falls my door,
And now begins my travails,
Keeps me awake and more!

"I'm Sick... ( ...the punch drunk kind of sick...)

My stomach's a laundromat today,
A punched bag in the gym.
Yoga breathing, eyes closed,
Keep the flow going....

Butterflies flying, they say,
They must've meant it on a whim.
This sucks, I'm morose,
Gotta keep moving...

Addiction's not a game to play,
Like wine overflowing the brim.
Too much, overdose,
It keeps dripping...

'Dear Juliet'

Juliet, fair Juliet,
Young heart forever be,
Torn between two loves of life,
Duty and family.

Juliet, sweet Juliet,
Throw not each away,
Wouldst deny thyself a part of you,
Every passing day?

Juliet, dear Juliet,
More precious is thou life,
With every pain and sorrow passeth,
Comes spring of your delight.

Juliet, o Juliet,
To thine you must be true,
And know what is for what shall be,
For future waits for you.

"Thank You"

It's all very new to me,
this "likeness" of things that could be.
Maybe it's just a trick played by the mind,
Maybe I'm (we're) just being blind.
Whichever it may be,
It's still very new... very strange to me...
Thank you...

Fall.In.Love.

Fall...
In... Love...
Fall... Lovin'...
Love... Fallin'...
Fall... In... Love...
In... Fall... Love...
Love... Fall... In...
In... Love... Fall...
Fallin'.. Love...
Lovin'... Fall...
Fall... In...
Love...

-- Funny how messed up these three words are...--

Just Philosophy...nothing more...

The calmest and most peaceful moment in life comes when one has finally come to see and consider things the way it is. To uncover the small pieces of the truth can hurt in more ways than one. To have the sense of accepting it the way it is can only set one free if one is empowered by it to go beyond the hurt.

A story has many faces. It always depends on how and why a person tells it and who's listening to it. In the same manner, silence can also have different faces. It depends why one chose to keep silent, and how others receive that silence. The truth and lies are but two sides of the same coin. We only either fool ourselves and others, or be honest about our intent.

Whenever we fall, we need to get back up. Sometimes, someone picks us up, sometimes, someone helps us up, sometimes, we need to pick ourselves up.

Whenever we get up, we try to keep ourselves from falling again. But sometimes, someone will trip us, sometimes someone will push us down, sometimes, someone will keep us from getting up at all.

When we were young, we looked to role models to determine right and wrong. Now that we are older, do we become our own role models? When we make our last farewell, who will tells us if we were right or wrong?

What is right and what is wrong? How do we measure the correctness of a person's choice? What is the basis of our own choices? It may be better to be wrong for the wrong reasons, than to be right for the wrong reasons, because sometimes it's not the accomplishment that counts, but the feeling that makes the result worthwhile.

What is a life worth living? The sense of self-worth? The praise of our fellowman? The security of prosperity? The bond of friendship? The acceptance of family? After all that, what is a life worth leaving?

We've all made our choices. We've all sacrificed to some extent. We've all done the best that we could. But in the end, who will tell us that our best has always been good enough?

To know all things and to be all things to all people is a good thing. To know some things and to be someone to some people is a very good thing. But to know that One thing, and to be a somebody to that some One, can only be the beginning of the best of all things...

"He said, She said"

"Close your eyes",
And she did.
"Trust me",
That she did.
"I won't hurt you",
That she knew.

"Kiss me",
And he did.
"Touch me",
That he did.
"I won't stop you",
That he knew.

"Heaven-sent"

When you came,
She already knew,
To give her heart to someone new.

When you came,
He already knew,
A part of him is also a part of you.

When you came,
It was meant to be,
Imperfect you seemed, but they didn't see.

When you came,
The waiting was done,
Thirty years and more in a moment, won.

When you came,
Time stood then,
An angel you are, fresh from Heaven.

"Beautiful Lives, in a Death That Comes to All"

Long ago you lived your life as a tortured soul,
And made a man of yourself,
Stood your ground,
Built your empire.

In lonely states you sought your fortune,
And fate had consented,
Gave you her all,
Then gave none.

Then the stars collided and the heavens decreed,
When you challenged their powers,
In your searching hours,
And showed you truth.

You walked this earth with your faith beside you,
And touched the lives of those around,
Keeping the balance,
In strange ways.

I did not know that you knew me that well,
The distance I had within myself,
You kept me,
From dying.

As God would have it you took me beside you,
And helped me face the monsters inside,
The ones outside as well,
And made me strong.

Who knew one day we would journey like this,
This river of no return we are on,
You call me friend,
You, my mentor.

Through all the mistakes I did you stood for me,
And made me understand it all,
Sharing my consequences,
Keeping me in line.

I never knew love until this process you showed me,
How different it was from what I thought,
You changed me for me,
None else ever did.

Mine is not the only life blessed to be tied with yours,
Those to claim otherwise are not so fortunate,
To them we are losers,
What do they know.

It doesn't matter how long or short you still may have,
Should heaven decide to take you again,
You live as one should,
With God, with love.

"Rehab" part 11

The Drop was a sureball deal. A free fall, one way ticket to Neverland.

The wind grew quiet, and time stopped. It was just me and the Drop. My life was flashing before my eyes. Every second was in slow motion, like a vintage movie projector showing black and whites. The fight raged on, pain and melancholy dealt their blows to my insides once more.

Drugs, drink, sex... All useless. Just a blanket to cover up the nakedness underneath. Friends, family... They may well be strangers, for all they're worth.

I closed my eyes, breathe in...breathe out...I was ready. Just me... And the Drop...

Then, it happened.




I "felt" a whisper hold my hand...

"The Night that Never Happened"

The morning rays entered the room,
Through the bare-glassed window,
Gently falling on the crumpled white sheets of desire.
I rouse myself from the limbo of dreams and reality,
Barely able to get up from the soreness that overtook me.
I remember last night...

The unsure looks that gazed upon the eyes of longing...
I didn't know what to say,
You knew exactly what I meant.
Each breath that escaped was like a cry for release,
Each tentative touch a jolt of electric fire...

I was afraid you might hurt me,
I was afraid you might not stay.
I still am.

But the hand that held mine wasn't the hand of a tempestuous gale,
Nor of dead carnal knowledge,
No...
It was the steady hand that brought ships across ocean currents,
A hand that stilled storms...

My eyes half closed as you kissed my forehead,
Trickling down when I wanted it to rage with hunger.

God, I wanted this...

"Yes!" was my silent battle cry to this war you started,
A battle of tangled limbs in this sea of light and shadows.
Crashing, colliding, ripping, tearing...
With each ebb and flow of the current
The waves grew higher and higher,
Until I capsized under you.
Your expert hands steering me further into oblivion,
Until I surrendered the prize that you sought so intently.

I drowned myself in the scent of you,
And gasped for air like it was my last.
Each swallowed breath was death to a thousand distant memories...

As the fog cleared,
The silent waves rushed against to shore,
Running our ships aground the the sands of tangled and twisted white.
I can taste the wet saltiness of tired satisfaction,
Mixed with a sweetness,
And a hunger,
For a night that never happened...

"Ouch!"

It came ... unexpected...
A pang of hurt...
Like how a rubber band hits you...
Or an ant bite...

Except...
It was directed at my heart...

"PandorA"

The thought of you,
Lingers in my mind.
Shuttling back and forth,
From could and should,
Both yes and no.

An idea in my head,
4 or 5 of them,
Put in by you.

I'd wait to be taken,
And overtaken,
Again and again,
Just to be with you,
And to have you,
Then be had by you.

Time meant a distance,
An endless ocean of my vanities for you.
Words, a painting,
Of a scene that was never there.

A singular moment of defined passion,
Fueled by an unspoken promise of tomorrow...

Words escape me...

The ideas in my head,
Put in there by you,
4 or 5 of them,
Just like I asked you too.

They linger...

The very thought of you...

"Ouch!" - extended, 10 minutes later...

It came ... unexpected...
A pang of hurt...
Like how a rubber band hits you...
Or an ant bite...

It came ... snuck up...
A sudden blow...
Like a football tackle...
Or whiplash...

It came ... right ahead...
Blew the wind from me...
Like a crashing wave...
Or a swift kick to the stomach...

Except...
It was directed at my heart...



--did you have to let it linger?

when you're gone, I will miss you, that's what I do--

"Camelot"

You were my knight on a bareback horse,
Wearing nothing more than old boots and a tunic,
A simple man with a worn-out soul,
Armed with the tools of your choice.

You slayed dragons hiding in the caverns,
Bravely entering with humble strides,
Taming the beast with gentle thoughts,
Drawing it out for the final blow.

You conquered kingdoms with a passion,
Enough to put young lovers to shame,
Unbridled, rousing respect and loyalties,
With an off-handed single-mindedness.

You are no king,
You are no warrior,
You are no landowner --
You are but a man.

With strengths and weaknesses,
Offenses and defenses,
chances and choices.

Friend, lover, stranger,
Brother, worker, son.

Yet, you held my Excalibur, once upon a time...

Rehab part 12

I woke up in a cold sweat, hands shaking, heart pounding... A part of me fell into that abyss -- sweet oblivion of nothingness.

Yet here I am -- the existence of nothingness.

It should've been me instead of him. He was a much better person than I ever could be, and he didn't even have to try at it.

Bile was rising from my stomach. Damn it all...

"Magpaumanhin Lamang Sa Iyo"

Sa pag-sawa ng kahapon
Dadapo ang bukas
Ng aking kalayaan
Mula sa 'yong hawak.

Ang mapuksong damdamin
Na nagdala ng sakit
Ay muling giginhawa
Sa kuna ng pag-ibig.

Walang katotohanan
Ang pinangarap na pag-asa
Yan ang pagtupad
Ng aking takda.

Salamat sa liwanag
Dala ng kasikatan
Yaong kinasawaan
Na aking nakamtam.

Sana'y 'di dinibdib
Ang aking kamalian
Na aking inasam
Ang iyong kabutihan.

Paalam, kaibigan
Ika'y di kayang makilala
Sa katahimikang tila
Isang munting ala-ala...

And I thought you were joking yesterday

Hardly...