Ok, here's a question.
Marriage is for richer or poorer,
better or worse.

1. Would you still stay married
if you lost all your money,
had to live out of a box,
and raid garbage bins for food?

2. Would you still stay married
if your partner got sick or in
an accident, had to stay home,
couldn't work, and you had to care for them 24/7.

3. Would you still stay married
if your partner cheated on you,
and you found out?

4. Would you still stay married
if you're partner started to
grow ear hair, smell funny
got toe fungus, farted at
inappropriate times,
drank excessively,
took up smoking,
did meth, or otherwise
fell victim to the many vices
and maladies that can afflict
a human being.

You got nominated for 'funniest post-er' in one of the other threads! You should give an acceptance speech!

Oops. That was for goofy!

Jess wrote:
"A child is the responsibilty of both parents irrespective of a marriage certificate, here."

I understand.

I was thinking in terms of 'marriage' as being the actual spirit of the vows, not necessarily having anything to do with any certificate, or third-party witnesses or approval.

But I guess, within the context of this thread people are using the term 'marriage' with respect to the nebby-nosed approval and consent of their-party observers.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I tend to go passed labels to the essence of things. So when I think of "marriage", I think in terms of the vows that the label represents.

So all I meant to imply is that when people have offspring they should vow to nurture those children in a positive way at least until they reach puberty when all hell breaks loose.

I'll go to my room now.

I as a straight woman would willingly give up my rights for marriage if it could be transferred to a gay couple that wanted to get married. I think we should be able to do that hell, better them then me

Wow.

Goldenstar wrote:
"I as a straight woman,..."

Straight?

You look pretty curvy in you picture!

I'm not sure what you mean Bay ... it has nothing to do with the OP...

OP
Can you be in a committed relationship, without being married? YES
Is marriage the end result to falling in love? NO

=====

Baygal wrote:

"Why do people treat marriage and commitment like it was separation of church and state?? It seems to me that a 'commitment' still leaves room for a cleaner 'out' if someone decides the relationship isn't working for them.

Marriage just seems a "bit" more commital than just 'commitment'. "
-------

"I agree that commitment is still a matter of the heart and a choice to stay with someone...but marriage...I still believe in everything that word "marriage" represents!"
-------

"It seems like people attitude nowadays treats relationships like "separation of commitment and marriage", when the reality is that you are choosing to build a life with someone. Does anyone really get that?? "
==========



Being committed to growing old together .... choosing to share a life together ... is not dependent upon a marriage certificate in my opinion.

If I choose to re-marry it will not be because it feels more permanet ... it will be because I like the notion of marriage.

Whether the preference is based upon intellect or some religious doctrine or some moral perspective is just semantics ... it is still exercising what is right for the individual within the constructs of the life they have created.



"The original question had nothing to do with marriage as more of a "guarantee" of it lasting."

I agree.



Now I am dizzy

I think the end result of falling in love is between the two in the relationship.

If you feel that marriage is what you both need to prove the love then go for it.


If you feel that being committed together without the vows being said, and being there for each other is what you desire then go for it.


It all depends on the views of the two in the relationship

Is a man or woman's word their bond anymore?

What is a word worth?

I find the whole concept of vows, of promises, of contracts ludicrous....

In a hyperthetical situation, (as I am not in it at the moment) ..I wont promise anything...I wont ask for any either...we have today, we have now, and I have no guarentees of a tomorrow, so why promise something I may not be able to keep?

Vows...pfft! In my opinion, lipservice for the speaker to feel good about themselves.




It's fine Abra, I heard you.....you can go to your room until puberty strikes, if you wish to, or you can stay out here with us, your choice.

I believe you can be commited with out that piece of paper.I'v been married twice and don't want to make it a third.

its up to the people involved. I would love to maybe be married some day, but if the person I end up with and myself see it as unneccesary, then oh well. However for legal rights that involve medical instances and children, its probably a good idea.

Thanks for a great post, abra -- it points out that artgurl was dead on in indicating that the issue is a separation of powers one.

Even if the church is party to the marriage, even if the state is party to the marriage, even if the marriage partners are party to the marriage... there is no guarantee of success or keeping of the vows.

I am not a fan of the state interfering in my business. As a result of personal experience, I can state unequivocally that having the state a party to my marriage is a direct jeopardy to the welfare of my children.

Any time one of the spouses becomes a threat to the progeny this will be true. Why should we devolve at all our decision making on these critical matters to some outside authority? What benefit is derived?

Sure if you (others) make it (marriage)

Marriage on paper is an institution created by government. If I love someone and they love me that is all I need. If I kneel down and say to them with all sincerity that I would do anything for them, that I will honor and be with them for ever. Then that is all that is needed in my mind. But, If my love wishes a piece of paper and one of the gaudiest rings in the world, a church full of their relatives and to give vows of love to each other before god and everyone we know. Then that is what she will get.

Yes i think it is very possible to be in a committed relationship without getting married, however when you are having sex/having children and living together marriage is the right thing to do. therefore it is a decision that only the couple can agree on, but if there is any doubt about your bond not being strong enough to survive all the trials and tribulations or feel that marriage will be a risk then NO don't marry. It seems to be that people are marrying for convience, looks, money etc. That marriage will never work and is doomed for divorce.
I have stated the obvious and if people married for unconditional love ... most marriages would end with til death do us part.

sex is what matters!!!duh!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


the "M" word!!!!!!!!!!!


let's not and say we did???

but I look so good in a tiara and a wedding dress!!!! And I love a good wedding!!! If I could get married every year it would make me happy!!!!

my friends here get married every 2 or 5 years....lol


every time they do it they renew their contract for 2 years...if they are feeling lucky ..for 5 years..lol like when they had the kids...

recently we celebrated their 30 years together...all in increments of 2's and 5's...lol

they have both chosen once not to renew and then asked each other the following year...that was scary!! hahhahahhaaaa we were all rooting for em!!