I agree that commitment is still a matter of the heart and a choice to stay with someone...but marriage...I still believe in everything that word "marriage" represents!

In my opinion, marriage is a sacred bond. Even though others don't take it as serious, I do. I see that it is supposed to be as it states in the bible and it makes sense. To get married by God's blessing, and not rushing into premarital sex. Your relationship will last a lifetime. We in society want to try everything and do not keep true faith. Try in the dictionary means to attempt. If you live to try, then you forever attempt. But what about succeed? You have to have the state of mind for success. To be successful, you have to be confident. You have to maintain focus. Practice doesn't make perfect, as we know perfect is never achieved, although it is the only thing that will get you ever close to obtaining perfect.

Bay...i agree

bay, so manny on here have been in marriages. or have had friends whose marriages have not worked out! it really is the commitment which is important. and love. a loving commitment.

where there is lasting love - the marriage is merely a legal document. it is binding. it can solve issues but it can also cause serious problems for oh so many reasons.

some would convincingly argue that the whole marriage idea of legal contract implying ownership - is so - last millenium.

but you know. the legal stuff needs some framework and there is also the religious sanctification aspect of it for many people. if it is part of a religious bond it deepens the meaning of their commitment! so it is a personal thing.

and well...in addition,

I LOVE EVERYBODY

(there, i said it again)

but don't expect me to marry you all!

Sorry to the rest but I'm siding with Bay on this one Marrage is the way to go. I guess there can be a committed relationship, but For what i believe that is living in sin. Committed relationship stands like there is an out like the people involved are afraid to tie the knot because it's more binding I'd rather be bound to one good o\woman for the rest of my life than be in a committed relationship[. without the mutual security. If i go first in Marrage she gets to decide what happens first esp if all the close relatives are gone she would be able to make the decisions before the state would be able to step in. Sorry If I'm rambeling - I understand what i mean even if it's not so clear on type.

I myself have been married and loved the partnership that it created, How ever I do belive that you can be commited with out a pice of papper, Jesus says to the women at the well that she has many husbands. So really in Gods eyes I think the momment you enter into intamacy you have made a commitment, not that we all live by that. Again it's the differance of God and State. Legal marriage or commen law.

Like I said...

It seems like people attitude nowadays treats relationships like "separation of commitment and marriage", when the reality is that you are choosing to build a life with someone. Does anyone really get that??

I grew up never ever hearing the idea or concept of divorce. It just wasn't an option for my parents and that's been instilled in me, but as I get older my dating pool just seems to treat relationships with a flippant attitude. It's very discouraging.

Oh yes. Bay is on a rant today!

Bay There are times when you need to rant about what is important to you.

To me marriage is just a religious ceremony. To what?

Say and prove your love with each other by spending thousands of dollars?
To bond each other between you, your partner and your "God"?

Well before you even enter into a marriage you should already know you love each other.

And considering I am an atheist. I do not need to tell any God anything.

So do I think marriage is worth it? No, I do not. I do not see the point of spending so much money just on a piece of paper. You can live with another and love them just the same with or without it. and in the end that is all that matters.

People should marry and have kids, all that sounds healthy to me rather than just to have commited relationship.

I don't have much experience regarding all this but just it's my view and some of my american girlfriends had bad experiences to have a baby and then boyfriends starts dating somebodyelse. I guess if you are married then may be less chances to live wife and baby..

Only certain states honor the Common Law Marriages. You need to look at your own state to see if it is in affect where you live.

How many of you have researched divorce laws in your state before you got married?

In CA everything is split 50-50, regardless of what you brought into your marriage. Maybe common law is the better way to go afterall!

i think marriage is a beautiful thing, and as far as spending thousands of dollars....thats what a justice of peace is for, if you cant or dont want to spend the money.

To me, ppl do not take marriage as seriously as it should be taken..."vows" are broken everyday...spouses cheat...ppl divorce so fast and so easily.....sometimes i think divorce is the "easy" way out....b/c maybe perhaps they dont wanna take the "time" to work things out....but for whatever the reason being...divorce is not always the ONLY answer....but if you ask me if i think "marriage" is NECESSARY...NO.. I dont think so!! I think 2 ppl can still commit..if not more so..than a "legally" married couple!! Just my opinion..

I will throw a different twist to this. There are conditions where marriage is not poss. Two people can maintain a committed, loving relationship; with all (or more) depth than a marriage. When two older people get together, financial, family & legal considerations, have a lot of bearing on if a marriage is poss., with out the chance of serious loss.

Marriage won't keep you 'safe'. And as Hawaii pointed out ... many do not respect the vows. What is the divorce rate in north America now? 57% - I read somewhere...

It is the commitment upon which the relationship is based that provides the foundation and the strength.

If I had to choose I would take the commitment.

Would I get married again? Yeah maybe ... I like it.

Stay true to yourself Bayarea girl.

For me marriage is the only way, but I do not expect everyone to feel the same.

For practical and legal reasons, and because I have learned that laws are different from state to state I prefer to be married to feel secure that if anything happens, sickness or death as a wife, my wishes (which of course would be my husband's) would be respected. A time like that is no time for a legal battle.

Thanks Britty!

Read this very, very, veerrry carefully:

I know/ that you know/ that I know/ you know what I am talking about!

Bay!!!Laughing at u!!
To the topic:
I do think that culture may have to do with many a reason why ppl would rather stay married than divorce...I do know (from what i see here in Hawaii)...that Japanese and Filipino's rarely divorce...even if things arent going "right" in the marriage....theres a certain degree of "shame" if they were to get divorced...this is jsut from what i have seen...

To me, marriage is the ultimate step...basically, once I walk down that aisle, I'm entering into a partnership with the person I feel I can spend the rest of my life with.

However, that doesn't mean I'm opposed to commitments...if you're in love with the person, then it really shouldn't matter if you choose to walk down the aisle or not. Love is love...

Until then, I'm not going near marriage until that one person emerges and I can feel that I can spend the rest of my days with them....