OK so I'm extremely new to pretty much everything social online apart from Facebook - and I've gone through some girls profiles (obviously). I've noticed most people state what they are looking for(ie - prince charming, must have good manners, looking for an America n hunk etc etc).
But I've also noticed every so often that some people post stuff like "all y'all dirty pigs out der - I won't send no dirty pictures so don't even bother. this is just one example I'm reciting and I know girls get asked perverse things on the internet by pigs.

I guess my point is it more important for girls to highlight negative things they don't want as opposed to qualities they do?
Also does it actually stop the perverts from trying their luck? And do men do the same thing?

I ask because as I mentioned before I am new to this, and secondly a fair amount of the profiles with this characteristic are of pretty attractive girls - and then I think to myself "eish... Issues" -> closes tab.

Also this site is awesome. :)

Welcome to Mingle2.

I used to have a really well written, Dope~ profile...
but I went off the deep end.. one night ..and deleted everything.
(which I filed under...shiiiit happens)


some of us have been put through the ringer..It does not matter if we are nice or not...when we are not interested, and say so..we get the same shiiity attitude.to answer your question,yes being cold helps...but only to a point.It's kind of like locking my door...It keeps the honest folks out..but somebody could always break in..or they could knock and be let in

(((2K)))
<<<pounding on the door to be let in

Some of the messages are sickening. After a while it becomes intolerable so I don't blame any girl who say's what she doesn't want.
I had to take the step of blocking all messages from men, even though some men are great. It's the world we live in I'm afraid.

So if you end up blocking all males from messaging you then doesn't this site become less valuable? In your case has your range of activity been reduced to forums started by bafoons such as myself. Haha :)

No, I'm a lesbian, and that's my point, I still got messages off men whose sole purpose was nothing but shock tactics.
It may be a good idea to be able to block messages from certain Countries.

From my point of view, it tends to be offputting but that's alright I suppose because it tells me that they aren't what I'm looking for either. On the one hand, there are the "fun seekers need not apply" ones and that says to me that they are no fun but then there's the "no relationship seekers" ones on the other hand and I am actually looking for a girlfriend.

It does make it difficult I suppose when there is so much negativity from them and sometimes I feel like there's a presumption of guilt and they won't give a lot of guys a chance that aren't really creepy and are just normal guys that want a sexual relationship with a woman.

Pretty or plain jane, women get hit on by men who are more interested in the neck down than the neck up all the time and everywhere. Some men are polite and charming in their approach and some men are uncouth. Men online are no different.

How each of us women present ourselves for approval of the opposite sex varies. If we are feeling particularly hormonal and have had it with men in general we may create a profile that spits enough venom to discourage even the most foolhardy of the not so much a gentleman.

When the clouds have passed and we've returned to our adorable senses we may create the most sweetest and alluring profile that even the coldest heart would thaw in our presence.

Welcome to the Mingle2 boards Robbi... now that you've introduced yourself to us you will find it much easier to get to know the women that may interest you through communicating on the forums if they do the same.

Just remember that we all have a bad hair day sometimes but that's what mirrors are for...

Nothing keeps idiots from being stupid and then asking the question why? My profile states I'm not looking for young men. I still get messages from little kids (that's what they are to me) either being disrespectful about it or asking why.

I see a comment about guys who are nice but also have needs. That's understandable. Women have needs to but maybe it's not as easy for some women to take that plunge. Being cautious doesn't equal being cold.

I have found with the crude messages, to not engage in the argument. If I say no and they tell me I'm frigid or some other stupid thing I just reply then you're lucky you found out now. Then they have nothing to keep arguing

Why do you say "we", "us", "our" as if you are speaking for every woman on here?...Why not just tell him what YOU do and how YOU feel and let the rest of us, or those who wish to comment, speak for ourselves?....

Your post is not at all how I feel, and I NEVER have a bad hair day.....

My sincere apologies Ms. Leigh, if you think I was including, referring too or even thinking about you personally when I made a generalized comment about we women while welcoming the OP to Mingle2.

I say we, us, and our when topics about girls, females, or women come up because as it happens I too belong in this category. I also am a Mingle2 member and as such sometimes make generalized comments that includes myself and others in this category too.

Overall I wasn't aware that I am being offensive to other members by speaking in generalized terms on topics that can easily refer to all of us as a group or a gender.

I think I hear you saying from the feelings you've expressed here that I not make any sweeping comments that might in anyway appear to include you. Point taken.

And I hope my explanation helps to soothe any feathers I may have inadvertently ruffled.

Thanks for finally getting back to me ....As a social AND dating site, I think it is just COMMON SENSE and GOOD MANNERS to let everyone, guys and gals, represent themselves on the boards..Speaking for other members while assuming they feel as you do can come off as rude, arrogant, and quite insensitive to some of us who like to speak for ourselves, be represented by our feelings and words, not those of other members... ...Since joining, every romantic and personal relationship I have formed on Mingle has developed through my participation on the boards,...Oh, and it's not about what I think you are thinking about when you speak for others, it's about what the person you are speaking to thinks...I would never create a profile that "spits venom", never!

^^^^^
I think my first statement is an accurate assessment of us women. Nothing offensive said here.



^^^^^
I think my second statement is a relatively playful account of how we women "MAY" react to men who behave like pigs towards us... overall what I said is not disrespectful toward women or men and I don't see why you took it personally or seriously.



^^^^^
Again, I think my third statement is a relatively playful account of how we women "MAY" behave... overall what I said is not disrespectful toward women or men and I don't see why you took it personally or seriously...

The figurative descriptions I chose to respond to the OP's query with were intended to be of a playful nature that in no way reflected or stated that this is EXACTLY HOW ANY WOMEN ON MINGLE ACT...



^^^^^
There's nothing about this statement that is directed personally at any member, male or female, and again, I fail to see why you took it personally or as an insult.



My sincere apologies Ms. Leigh, if you think I was including, referring too or even thinking about you personally when I made a generalized comment about we women while welcoming the OP to Mingle2.

I say we, us, and our when topics about girls, females, or women come up because as it happens I too belong in this category. I also am a Mingle2 member and as such sometimes make generalized comments that includes myself and others in this category too.

Overall I wasn't aware that I am being offensive to other members by speaking in generalized terms on topics that can easily refer to all of us as a group or a gender.

I think I hear you saying from the feelings you've expressed here that I not make any sweeping comments that might in anyway appear to include you. Point taken.

And I hope my explanation helps to soothe any feathers I may have inadvertently ruffled.



^^^^^
Again... I was not speaking for any other members personally, I was using figurative language in a playful way to make light of a topic in which men are referred to as pigs and perverts... which is, in my opinion, rude and disrespectful terminology.

In his query the OP asks us girls if its important for us to highlight negative things we don't want... so... in my mind he was asking us as a group of girls (women) our personal opinions...

I gave mine that in no way was aimed at any other member, least of all you, and I was inclusive and generalized too just as the OP did originally.

I do however appreciate your effort to publicly school me in what you think is proper and appropriate ways to communicate one's opinion.

Good!..Then you won't mind my asking you to stop editing my posts ...If I wanted to use paragraphs, I would use paragraphs!

For me, enough said and my apologies to the OP for being ...Have an informative day Ms. Athena!

Actually... I separate sentences, and not just yours, so I can get a clearer view of what's being said... not so I can edit paragraphs... as for our short discussion that relates directly to the OP's topic... I'm sure he get's a clearer idea now about how some of us women highlight our negative's and positives.

Well said...Too often I read posts from female members who are bombarded with sexually explicit "first contact" mail...It's sad to think that anyone feels a need to define their moral boundaries on their profile page....

Very good point OP.
I read a while ago that indeed you have to focus on the positive things, show what you're like with your profile text, make it a nice read, as opposed to "don't want this, don't like that, do NOT do this blablablar".
In short, steer clear from the negatives. Rephrase and state the opposite of what you do not want.
If you'd do that, you would automatically get different replies, attract a different type of man.

I've done that, and I gotta say, it works like a charm! Having a nice positive profile text that makes a nice, easy read, seems to repel the w@nkers.

A shame that most ppl stick to the negatives, just cos they've been upset and/or hurt by ppl. They will attract more @$$holes that way or not attract anyone at all.

Here am I. I agree that we as men should speak up when these matters arise. I guess for my part I do not in any way condone their stupid lack of respect towards ladies.

Well I won't pick a fight over it online. On the street, yeah I've smashed a few snouts just to let the dogs know women deserve respect. Other than that,and my previous quote, I don't know what you'd like me to say.

Hi ((( J )))...Wow, you are being awesome here!! ...klc is absolutely on track when she faults men for not speaking up more...For me, the sexually explicit or lewd mail can feel very threatening at times...Sometimes the writing style is so similar I can't help but wonder if it is the same person using a different profile because I have previously blocked him...Stalking is real, it is dangerous, and it is illigal...