I think it should happen naturally on a time table that both are comfortable with and if it doesn't happen that way it is probably not meant to be

I know I would not be online asking others how to get a guy to sleep with me. forget that. if he isn't trying to get ME to sleep with him, I ain't interested. bottom line in the sand. period.

That's a great point, G...

Youth is fleeting...but wisdom is sexy at any age...

<<<<<<<<<<knows absolutely nothing about seduction or romance. Sorry no help, I know.

Be a gentleman, listen to her when she talks, open doors, pay the tab, always call the next day.

Agree with you! Problem can be if you're in love with someone like that and/or in a relationship. Then you have to make a decision ...

is that why you are wearing a dog costume?

For me (and I am not saying that it has to be true for you or anyone else), but for me, that decision is already stated in my original sentence. Initially, at least, I do not do the seducing. To me, in my culture and generation, that is unseemly. But even I can get past cultural standards sometimes (like a lot of times).

So it comes down to what I have learned over and over, many times multiplied to the infinity about men. If they do not seduce ME, they really are not that interested. Ya, maybe they'll have sex if ya chase 'em, but that's all it will be. Even if I feel I am in "love" with him, to me that's not a reason to try to seduce him. but that is just me. I am not tryna tell anyone else what to do.

often when we are attracted to someone we "behave" seductively unconciously anyway. If he's really interested, he will pick up on those more subtle signals JMHO

I don't think that's really true about how seducing a man will only get you sex from him. If there's nothing that a woman's doing that's seductive I don't generally waste my time pursuing them. If she's not giving me signals and making it fairly clear that we're going to have sex that can be a bit of a turn off and it's certainly not encouraging. I have been involved with someone that expected me to romance and seduce her though and that can be fun. It can end up with women trying to say to you that all that you want from them is sex though. That seems like a game to me and it's about a woman trying to pretend that she's just doing it because it's what you want and then she can complain that you're not being romantic because you're not doing your chores to keep her happy like that.

I don't know if you are addressing me, but if so, please reread my last sentence. I do not expect agreement from everyone. But honestly over many many years and much experience (both mine and that of other female and male friends) that is what I have observed the majority if not 100% of the time that happens when a woman does OVERT chasing or seduction.

sorry I take my expereince over a man's WORDS words any day sugar :)

if you are the one in a million who deos not behave that way, then good on you. I don;t know where you are getting the whole game thing, though. that is in your head. we are just talking about initially getting together.

but I was not born yesterday (which is probably why men do not like women their own age as they age)

Oh, that game can start right at the beginning and I'm just getting it from being in relationships with women that liked to do the whole "You don't own me man" thing whenever I wanted to have less of a one sided relationship where they weren't trying to call all of the shots and expecting me to be "romantic" and cater to their whims and demands while they're trying to make out that I'm a man and therefore only want sex and am just doing the other stuff to keep them happy so that I can get that. It is virtually impossible to win with some women. What I'm talking about is commitment phobic women that want to have their cake and eat it by saying that it's just sex when it suits them and that it's a relationship when they expect you to be there for them.

"You just seduced me". "I don't want to be with you and I was just trying to be "nice" to you". "You don't really love me and it's just lust". You try putting up with someone giving you that all the bloody time and see how much enthusiasm that you have for trying to be romantic and giving them more than sex when you know that it's a thankless task and that's all that they are actually prepared to give you.

You will have to forgive me if I don't bow to you as some sort of expert because you have had a lot of experiences with men and conversations about them with other women. I just think that if you go into these things with an atitude about the opposite sex like that it is tantamount to paranoia and you're just going to see them as all being the same like that. One of the reasons that guys don't prefer older women is because they are quite often damaged goods and they're going to assume all sorts of things about you as a man that you will have one hell of a job convincing them are not the case.

Interesting variety of thoughts on this topic.

Most of my fantasies (and I have quite a few) involve seduction. G. made an interesting point. Seduction is easy when you are young but as you grow older you have to put more thought into it.

I think this man wants to be a seducer, not necessarily a romancer but doesn't know how. He grew up in a very restrictive time and I think most of the women he has been with have not been very adventurous. I think he does want to be taught some new tricks.

Buy him a collar & leash...old dawgs CAN learn new tricks...

Always wanted to know how I would do as a dominatrix.

It sounds like some people see seduction as a bad thing, as opposed to romancing someone.

I guess I see seduction as the dance leading to sex, which is similar to romance.

Seduction...wearing the lingerie you know he likes, and giving him the "the look", the one he knows the meaning of and reacts accordingly. It could be giving him a flash of that lingerie, or lack thereof, while you're out and about. I suppose you could be like Salome and dance with veils or just give him the look from across the room. It could be the breathy voice spoken right in his ear about what you want to do.

But to my mind, seduction, to be specific to the person you want, has to come after a relationship is established--after you establish the signs you both know.

Romance can be done before and after things are established, because I think it's more about doing the things you know will make the other feel special. If that's making sure you keep on hand their favorite coffee creamer, or letting them have the last piece of pizza, or leading the way with rose petals to the bathtub full of bath crystals and lit candles all around.

I think you have to go slowly with him, since he's not all that familiar. He probably needs a lot of 'lessons' on sensuality as opposed to sexuality. Find out how he feels about touch. Does he like touch? A lot of people don't. You could play games that are only about different touches. Of course, it goes beyond touch. You have to indulge all the senses.

Wow!!...You have completely nailed it, you are a siren! ...I don't even begin to understand why some people see seduction as a bad thing...It's not only an art, it's one that all of us can develop and use to enhance our relationships...Seduction has nothing to do with looks, or money, or slick talk...It's all about the kind of intimacy that leads to having sex, it's foreplay and it's HAWT...

Leigh you teaching me the art of seduction??

Thanks for the first lesson. .. im learning!!!

Leigh, you just said that you don't see how some people can see seduction as a bad thing and then wholeheartedly agreed with a post where it was stated that it should only happen within an already established relationship.

So?.....

Well, obviously that implies that there's something wrong about it otherwise.

We've got SweetestGirl saying something about how women shouldn't try to seduce men and I assume that she's talking about before a relationship has been established. What about what I'm talking about where you've got someone telling you that it's just sex and not a relationship? When is the relationship established? People aren't going to agree about that on here but if I say that as far as I'm concerned it starts from when you become lovers and there's likely to be some seduction involved there, the relationship isn't even getting off the ground without it.

A lot of people clearly think that there's something wrong with seduction because it's about getting your way with someone and it's not necessary if they're already consenting. That's what I think about when people talk about seduction. It can be fun but maybe I don't want some woman saying in the morning that I seduced her and complaining that I took advantage of her or trying to say that it wasn't really what she wanted to do and that it doesn't mean that she wants to get involved. I've got no personal problem with it myself but I take responsibility for my actions and I'm not the one saying that men will think less of a woman if she does it.