If you don't seem to be able to find a match meeting your criteria, would you consider lowering your standards?

Never, I'd rather be alone then settle for less than I know what I deserve

I wouldn't lower my standards just for a relationship as I am fine by myself

I would, however, leave my expectations more open and less rigid to adapt to my actual experiences,,,,

I used to expect a man to be a gentleman, I am more open to the idea that a male can be cool even if he doesn't ALWAYS act like the gentlemen( I do prefer it to be more his norm than his exception though)

Well, just look at all of the boybands I used to have a huge crush on, that came from ordinary council estates. They were as ordinary as us. With the exception of being famous. Though, I can never take in a guy who won't look after himself. I've had a few fwb's. If poor FRIENDS are good enough for me, then so would the lover be.

It is my life experiences, good and bad, that have shaped what I now seek. These things have guided me in the direction I am headed now. If I were to lower my standards it would put me back into the place I just left. Somewhere I prefer to never visit again physically or emotionally. I have come to realize my self worth and what I desire is something I feel I truly deserve.

So if I find a man that fills all of my criteria and peaks my interest, so to speak, but for one thing, is it lowering my standards or accepting them for who they are? Everything else is right so why would one thing put me off? No one is perfect and I don't expect anyone to be, because I am not perfect by far. I also don't consider it as lowering my standards as much as accepting the man before me, flaws through my eyes and all.

No, standards are based on how well we know ourselves so lowering them is usually just a supreme waste of time which too often results in hurting someone unnecessarily...

Of course I have "stan"dards, and no, I'm not changin' them either.


On dates however, particularly the first, I have no expectations, so I am often pleasantly surprised. Which I prefer over anything else.

No one will lower their standards to fit someone else. If you find some who does, they maybe simply pandering.

So. First impressions are not always what we think we see in the person.

Giving them the chance to show us what they are made of somtimes makes it worth the effort, no?

No, I do not agree.

I'm not giving the homeless lady a chance to impress me. I don't care how charming our interaction may be. I'm not giving someone who is a fanatic, regardless over what, a chance, no matter how attracted I may have been.

Before I get to that date, I will have had time to ask and answer questions. So, if we are on that "first date", I already have a good idea about whom I am sitting across from at dinner. We've had conversations and gotten to know a little about each other (this is part of my screening and standards). I don't do blind dates or setups from friends/family/coworkers. That stuff NEVER works, at least for me.

I am rather comfortable with me, and the me who I have spent a half century becoming. In fact, he has surprised me a time or two along the way, but I like who he has become, inspite of his weaknesses.

So, no. I will not compromise my standards, they are mine alone and nobody has the right or stones to convince me otherwise.

Realizing many of us are one paycheck away from homelessness, you believe, if you was down on your luck, you wouldn't be worth wasting time on?

HMMMMMM!

When I first arrived on planet Earth (I'm a native of planet Melmac, ya know), I kept my standards high.

I soon discovered that my high standards were preventing me from getting a date.
So, I lowered my standards. I started dating Humans.



Occasionally, I encounter a female Human who is delightful from a Melmacian perspective.
My late wife was one such female Human. msharmony is another.

This is my first time in the dating world in a very long time.
It's also my very first time checking out an online dating site.
What I've found is I have A LOT to learn.
I would not give up my core values my expectations of respect and decency.
However, I'm open to knowing New people and expanding my thinking. I've found there are many good hearted people here.

I don't really like the phrase "lowering my standards" because it implies that some people are "less than" others or "not good enough".

For me it was more about compromising my beliefs or my desires/needs/goals to have a person in my life. Yes, I have compromised. It doesn't work in the long run. At least not for me.

On the plus side, it has been those very relationships that taught me what was truly important to me and helped me see what kind of a relationship I want and need.

I don't know that I will find that relationship. But whether I do or not, I'm happy with my life and I'll be okay either way.

hay whats wrong with a homeless woman?
ive lowerd mine so low. i just couldnt see getting much lower...jk jk jk..i think.

I've never been one paycheck away. Are you?

I don't earn a paycheck, I haven't in over 30 years. I don't have the same restraints on my lifestyle as the majority of people. Why should I? I worked hard to get here, excuse me if I exercise my preference (oooh, them standards again) as to whom I choose to date.

IF someone does not have the drive or desire to pick themselves up and do something about their situation, it's not my problem.

I am NOT altruistic, not everyone or anyone gets a chance. If you feel that way, then more power to you.

I will still live my life my way, and will not ask permission to do so, from anyone.

The whole world has criteria they feel they deserve or entitled to. I try to look at the heart and character, and if those are good, and I really mean good, I could care less about what they might have, possess, strive for, or anything else. Everyone has goals in life, but sometimes those goals may keep them from seeing a diamond in the rough and miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime. None of us is perfect but what's important in my opinion is a genuine care and concern for others and receiving that because your character warranted a return of the same. It's a question of what is of utmost importance in the life of the individual, and ultimately the couple, realizing there are always adjustments which can be made, if, and only if, both are willing. JMHO

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Best post of the thread.
In my humble opinion.

Well after reading everyone's comnents... this song comes to mind; No Regrets.

Well, my standards are pretty low anyway.

I myself live on a council estate. That's right folks. I'm a schemie. I have been reduced to the status of a bum and I have run out of booze. I will date any old sugar mama.

Seriously though, I often think that I should elevate my taste in broads. I could date a classy bird and it doesn't really matter if she doesn't have an ample bosom. I'm not too proud to let a woman pick up the paycheck. I'm not one of those sexists that insists on ordering for a lady, instead of letting her get the drinks in.