Is meeting someone for an intimate encounter online any less or more dangerous than meeting some random guy in a bar you have never met before? I would have thought at least online you can take your time and get to know someone (sober) before you meet! And not jump into bed with someone drunk after just a few hours!! Ive messaged a few ladies here, and quite a few have said they wouldn't have a meeting like that because of the dangers! Which I can understand, sure. But when i asked if they ever met and slept with someone on a night out 90% said they had! I know girls are a lot more reserved than guys when it comes to NSA sex but, I just don't get it! It's ok drunk after a few hours, but too dangerous online!! Explain!?

I tried an online affair once.
Didn't work out.
The keys on my laptop kept getting all sticky and gooie.

ya got me on that one. not sure I can explain that. I get the part about not wanting to meet right away tho....but there are ways to meet up, in public places, for instance, so there will be a reasonable security.

NSA is just gross. I think if sex happened ages ago after a night out, often those are "accidents" sometimes they are rapes so a woman would be even more cautious. there are men who go out to specifically target drunk women, or use date rape drugs. that is gross. So you may get some rejection on that NSA basis also.

there are women who get to know a guy over a few hours at the bar, playing pool or what have you and decide they want to get to know them better. It's the "in person" factor that makes the difference.

Yeah, that's basically it. Women are just more comfortable with men when it isn't on the internet. Doesn't matter if it's an intimate encounter or if you're a "genuine guy" looking for a girlfriend. You can chat with a woman on here for months and she may tell you that she considers you to be a good friend but she still won't trust you like she would trust somebody that she actually knows outside of cyberspace.

sure, I can understand NSA sex not being everyone's cup of tea, but for those who are interested in it personally I think online is much safer for the guy and the girl, and I totally would never meet anyone unless it was in a public place first(even girls can be freaks.lol) safety always comes first! Do you think girls who say they would never do that secretly would but just won't admit it for whatever reason?

If you meet someone in real life, you get a feel for the person, body language etc. There's a click, otherwise you wouldn't start talking/flirting, so you also know the right chemistry is there. With someone you've 'met' online, that part is wait and see.
Plus in a pub, or wherever, there's a build-up, some time for the chemistry and lust to increase.
It's more spontaneous, it just happens, someone arouses you and you act upon it. Meeting someone you got to know online doesn't feel as natural, in comparison is quite stale. (there are exceptions to the rule btw, but then there's usually been more exchange as well, not just "hi, let's meet and shag!")

The drunk bit I wouldn't know, I don't get drunk. But even when tipsy, my creep-o-meter still works.

I totally get what everyone is saying I really do, and a few years ago before online dating exploded on to our computers almost all dating was done in a social setting, but now with so many woman claiming a man has raped them because they had too much to drink and can't remember consenting I believe it has made it more risky than online! And before I get crucified for what I said I am in no way saying that if your a girl and have drink in your system you must have said yes because I know that is not true, far from it in fact, I have seen guys like has just been said, literally "targeting" drunk girls, and if I ruled the world they would lose the ability to do any harm(if ya get me) to any woman ever again!(chop chop) I'm not a creep, I will probably get the label for being one because I'm looking for the taboo intimate encounter, but I just couldn't understand why people thought it was too dangerous! All dating is dangerous to an extent! It's all down to trust I suppose, people who say they want a relationship seem to be more trustworthy than people that just want sex! Is that right?

Well, it is different. You just gotta wait and see what turns up, if it is the same guy he claimed to be, if he is funny, if there's a click and if he's reliable.
And I do think chances of ending up with a creep are higher, as you skip that build-up phase. You meet, have a drink, then decide to do it or not. So by the time you get to "it", you barely had a chance to get a feel for the person.
In a pub you can observe someone before you start flirting.

First time meet with a local? Invite her to coffee or a casual lunch.

Long distance meeting? Reserve yourself a motel room and invite her to coffee or a casual lunch.

Just do it without any expectations.

I need to add.

Life story, in piecemeal.

No, the risks involved when meeting someone for an intimate encounter through an online connection as opposed to randomly in a social setting are the same (think about it )...What is different is "how" the level of confidence needed to do so is reached...Unfortunately for you this level, which is going to be totally unique to each woman, will be much harder and take a lot longer to achieve when doing it online rather than in person...If you only have interest in intimate encounters, plan on spending a lot more time and effort finding a willing partner when you take your search into cyber....You will need a fair amount of luck and a tremendous amount of patience....One more thing, providing a "complete" profile is a must...A profile without pictures stands little, if any, chance of succeeding

I'm very cautious online and off.I am not in a hurry to jump in the sack, I like to see how things are playing out, and also I like to have a conversation and look in their eyes to see if we have a human connection.Online is a great place to start but ordering sex online spells trouble to me.

You might be surprised how many online peeps are drunk at the time.
That makes it little different from the bar scenario.

Totally agree Jack!!

Word!

Its because everyone is 10'ft tall and bullet proof when they drink.
Come on! everyone nows that.

Just one or two drinks can alter your thinking patern and people make
decisions that they would never make sober.
they say a drink to a woman (or many woman) is 4 times that of a man due to the difference in stomach enzymes. woman's enzmes are fatty tissues
Where as mens have a lot more body water. Alcohol being water soluble, much more of the alcohol is dissolved before hitting the blood stream.
As woman age they suggest a max of one drink a day after 70 yrs

As we say, alcohol is the gateway drug. It all goes with alcohol.

I've heard this one been said in in psychology workshops or AA

"I thought I liked drinking until I discovered I liked
Cocaine prostitutes and handcuffs even more"
Its definitely this in combination with a person more prone to acting
on an impulse if the subjects/products are in front of them.
its all about positive environment when refraining from anything.Same applys if they're drinking at home and these woman may have no problem
with saying no on line but put them in a busy club, and it tells I
different story. I agree there's no different other than one's a safer environment to say no if thats ones goal.
A recovering alcohol shouldn't sit in a bar nor should a gambling
addict sit in a casino. A lot of people just don't know themselves
at all.Its obviously a preferred method for pick ups as they have
options,a person can talk to 10 people in a half hour and may no be interested but thats just a half hour. Thats a lot of bs to meet on
line with 10 people that your not interested in after time spent.
I would like to know the stats of woman that claim they don't do the
one nightstands but its happend after been in the wrong place drinking.
I bet 90 of the girl/woman that say they are against it when sober have
fallen on the sword

I think that's because in the back of my mind I feel that until I meet someone in person, I don't know for certain that everything they've typed is for real or just a load of poppycock...

nonetheless I have made some friends on here I feel I could trust...if all went well once meeting in person. I think you seem quite trustworthy actually :)

I agree that we can't be gender specific in who the "freaks" are. I simply have a woman's perspective being a female, as it were.

Do you mean online as in cybering or online as in making the initial contact online? I suppose one good thing about online is taking the alcohol factor away & hence the impulsivenss (that can lead to bad decisions).

my prob. with online is that most guys on the net expect a hook up and that is not my thing. but for those looking specifically for a hookup, it can be a good venue for both partners...but to circle back around, I think that's why it is a difficult venue when NOT looking for a hookup. so that becomes a cyclical reinforced stereotype.....

as to whether women are wanting what they say they do not want as far as NSA? I think you need be quite careful there.

It is a valid and honest question from a man who wants to learn how women think. But it also sounds a bit like "no means yes," and that is potentially a sexual assault. If a woman says she does not want a hook up, then she does not want a hook up. I do think some younger gals may be curious about hook ups or sex in general but that still does not mean that is what they want to do. Heck I'm curious about base jumping but I'd never do it

I don;t know how well I am explaining my point here...but since we are mostly anonymous on here, my suggestion is to take folk at their word...on everything, including whether they want NSA

we know that guys fantasize a lot about NSA but fact is it can leave u feeling pretty empty. Often NSA is nothing more than a boy's wet dream....we know that:)

Aaaaaaaawwwwwww.. That's what you get for eating fingerfoods!!

Even though I'm not a girl. I know enough to know that to many people lie on the internet and know they can because they're not going to be found out till the other person meets them. Their lies may come tumbling down when that happens. But it doesn't stop them from doing so. When it comes right down to it I could tell everyone I'm a doctor and as long as I know enough to BS my way through it and don't talk to anyone who really is a doctor. Who is going to say otherwise?

Try watching the documentary talhotblond. It's on netflix and would give a great example of why I don't trust people on the internet and will never give my address to anyone. Especially if I think they are crazy people I work with who might want to kill me. lol