Ok, so I'm wondering how come so many men pretend and say they don't care about a woman, when their actions clearly reflect that they do. Is it that scary for a man to admit they have feelings for a woman? I'm going thru this right now, he SAYS has no feelings for me except friendship, but his actions say different and I'm so confused by it all. Anyone want to chime in feel free!

I think sometimes we as women need to listen to what a man is saying even if his actions say differently.

There are several reasons his actions may appear different but, in most cases, go with his words and save yourself some heartache.

Without more info, it is difficult to chime in further.
Are you romantically involved with this man? For a long time?
Sexual relationship? Booty call? Friends with benefits?
Do you call him way more than he calls you?

You do not need to answer but just think about the questions.
You may be wishing it was more but no matter how you see it, the true test is to back off completely. He will call because something has changed. Bottom line, if he has no feelings, then you need to decide if this is the kind of "friendship" you wish to continue having. Do you deserve and want more? He has been very clear in his words.

JMO - I really wish you best although I don't think it's with him. Sorry!

I tottaly agree!

hey,i weep every time a woman takes off her bra.is that not good enough for you females?

Totally agree with Ouizee. Been there myself, nothing but heartache.
I think we often misinterpret feelings of friendship cos we wanna make more of it. Listen to his words and cut your losses, however painful it may be. If you stay in too long, it will only become more painful.

@ JT, you are so not funny ... Keep working on it, maybe one day you'll get it right.

now that cut deep

Some women do it, too. Let's not pretend women are more superior or innocent. They can be just as bad.


If the actions don't match up with the words, then you have your answer.

I have to agree with this.

Oh, there there ...
Let's say you'll have sussed by the time you post your 30.000th comment. That feel better?

I don't know. My ex was always saying that she didn't love me and that we were just friends or "shagging partners". She said that she couldn't see any future in it but I know that she did have feelings for me.

I've been in relationships myself where I wasn't sure that we were right for each other but it was only when I broke up with them that I felt that I did love them.

Honestly, and this is coming from a man who usually shows how he feels and says how he feels and is extremely straight forward, i have started to close myself up and not tell women i have feelings for them anymore because every time i do, it is perceived as a bad thing and thrown back at me as if i did something wrong. It has nothing to do with trying to confuse anyone, it has to do with protecting oneself. If the fire is hot, and you touch it, you learn not to touch it again, if you understand my analogy here.

It would be nice to meet more upfront men, but if they can't be honest with me, then I dodged a bullet. I won't date any bitter one's. They're never as ready to date as they say. Which is why they're all negative or moody at the time.

Well damn, everytime I am upfront. Which is 100% of the time, they think I'm lying. They ask a question. I tell the truth and they call BS....lol. It never works being upfront, but I refuse to lie.

Dats human nature... men or women both r dat way

Ok, i do get that. But where is the fight in you? The determination? People are so quick to give up, these days. If you give up, then what's left? You may rob yourself of the chance to prove yourself wrong. Just a heads up

Love u rawrrr...

What if the lie didn't work? What then? Why lie to get what you want? If you want something, do you really need to lie, if you're honest with yourself? Just wondering, beer buddy :)

Right back at ya. :D

I dont need to lie...I can b straight n say I love u rawrr... I find ya really truthful here... ur worth a smooch... wud like to knw ya better... mingle wid u... date u... n of course if it all works good give u a diamond ring some day.... nw wat do u say rawrrr??

Yes its scary! Ok you happy?
It's a lot better than having it the other was around,a man
saying he's into you and this actions are saying
the opposite.
When I'm in that situation and sleeping with her,then I'm most likely happy with most things
except the fact she is trying to pin me down to
admitting how I feel.
If it feels like more, it must be heading that way.
To say "friends" is a way of keeping a buffer.
I've been in that situation & still had strong
feelings for another woman.
My advise to you would be to measure the relationships progression by the actions and not
force a verbal answer as you may not like the
answer.

"You can't hurry love
No ..you just have to wait
love dont come easy
its a game of give 'n' take ~Phil Collins~