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| Topic: Enough is enough already | |
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They say God never gives you more than you can handle.
They say keep the faith, never give up. They say winners never quit, and quitters never win. They say nothing's impossible. But isn't there a fine line somewhere between faith and reality? Isn't there a point at which you have to admit that what you want is unattainable and move on? How do you know when you've reached that point, when you've crossed that line? Whether it be in pursuing your dreams, or when evaluating your relationship with someone, or in anything that you strive to accomplish, what makes you say "I can't do this anymore, enough is enough already!"? |
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Plenty of times.
With bad relationships, dead end jobs, my own self defeating attitudes. Sometimes, the only way to win is to surrender. Surrender the path and take another. Never give up there, Darlin'! You don't come across as a quitter.  
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WOW good topic. I will say this, I met someone 9000 miles away from me in New Zealand and he came here and I went there. We talked for over a year before meeting but when we met, we both knew it was right. When I left New Zealand, I had a ring on my finger to marry my Kiwi Man.
I guess when you know enough is enough is...when it hurts both people. Love should never hurt and being that far apart and in different countries, it was impossible to be together. This just actually happened right after the 911 attacks, so that made things even harder. He was so confused and so hurt that we couldn't be together..he told his Mum not to write me anymore. We kept in contact for years, but then she said he asked her to stop because his heart was breaking. I told her that I understood and would always think of her and pray for her. It was just a sad situation all the way around. I actually had a chance to move there for my nursing and the rewards of moving there were wonderful. I didn't do it because I was afraid of running into him and maybe he had married. New Zealand is a beautiful country and I would have loved to move there and did my nursing BUT I would have risked seeing him. I think enough is enough when you know people are getting hurt from a love that just can not happen!!! Do I regret going to New Zealand..NO but I do regret that I didn't think things out before I went and he came here! 
BUT ALL HEARTS MEND AND WE MOVE ON!!! 
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Plenty of times. With bad relationships, dead end jobs, my own self defeating attitudes. Sometimes, the only way to win is to surrender. Surrender the path and take another. Never give up there, Darlin'! You don't come across as a quitter.
SURRENDER THE PATH AND TAKE ANOTHER...I LOVE IT!!! THANKS YOU MADE MY DAY! |
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I envy people with faith.
Its not that im not a believer in a higher purpose. Too many bad things happen too often to people who dont deserve it(me included recently). The people who dont deserve it are lavished with good fortune. The rich get rich the poor get poorer. People killing each other the world over. Chemical attacks, genocide, facisim, racisim, bigotry. People using god as an excuse to do all the afore mentioned.......im sure if god exists, this wasnt his grand plan. I have had to much happen to me, and seen to much crappy stuff (as im sure other people have) to believe it anymore. Im sure there are people who will argue that god leaves us to our own devices, to choose our own path. Why then did he speak to people at the time of Jesus, but not now, when all the worlds in such a bad place? Faiths just not a luxury my mind allows me to have, although I realy wish it was!! Just want to say at this point I respect everyones beliefs, and all the above is just me personaly. If anyone can change my mind about it all, Id be the happiest guy alive 
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I once used to purge, whenever I broke up with someone. The hurt of feeling heartbroken made me feel slightly angry, so I had this secret urge to make myself feel sick, to take my mind off the hurt. Because when you're physically unwell, you forget anything that may affect you mentally, as long as you're in enough pain, or feel quite pukey. I couldn't find a good enough reason to convince me to stop, until one morning, I got one of the harshest stomach pains I've never felt before. This pain was quite bad. I thought my binge eating was the cause. My dr warned me that if I don't stop, I coukd end up damaging my colon/bowel. He told me why there's a reason we get full, and should stop when we feel full. It was obviously pretty serious, so I knew it was bad. I had to snap out of it. I discovered comedy, and that's a much better healer, and probably a HEALTHIER one, too :)
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I once used to purge, whenever I broke up with someone. The hurt of feeling heartbroken made me feel slightly angry, so I had this secret urge to make myself feel sick, to take my mind off the hurt. Because when you're physically unwell, you forget anything that may affect you mentally, as long as you're in enough pain, or feel quite pukey. I couldn't find a good enough reason to convince me to stop, until one morning, I got one of the harshest stomach pains I've never felt before. This pain was quite bad. I thought my binge eating was the cause. My dr warned me that if I don't stop, I coukd end up damaging my colon/bowel. He told me why there's a reason we get full, and should stop when we feel full. It was obviously pretty serious, so I knew it was bad. I had to snap out of it. I discovered comedy, and that's a much better healer, and probably a HEALTHIER one, too :) Purging will also ruin your teeth. I am happy that you found a much healthier way to snap out of a heartbreak. Trust me, you do not want to go through any colon problems..I had colon cancer and that was one of the worse surgeries I have ever had to go through!! |
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They say God never gives you more than you can handle. They say keep the faith, never give up. They say winners never quit, and quitters never win. They say nothing's impossible. But isn't there a fine line somewhere between faith and reality? Isn't there a point at which you have to admit that what you want is unattainable and move on? How do you know when you've reached that point, when you've crossed that line? Whether it be in pursuing your dreams, or when evaluating your relationship with someone, or in anything that you strive to accomplish, what makes you say "I can't do this anymore, enough is enough already!"? Absolutely, in every aspect of life there comes a point of surrender....It's imperative to understand that surrender does not always mean failure, sometimes it means success and winning!....Like the song says, "You've got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em....Knowing is where faith comes in...Faith in yourself, faith in god, doesn't really matter.... |
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Plenty of times. With bad relationships, dead end jobs, my own self defeating attitudes. Sometimes, the only way to win is to surrender. Surrender the path and take another. Never give up there, Darlin'! You don't come across as a quitter.
See! You just told me to never give up after telling me to surrender the path and take another! Make up your friggen mind man!  
I abhor quitting anything. "If at first you don't succeed, try try again" ya know? But there comes a point where you try your hardest and keep failing and you have to make the decision to throw in the towel. It's just not going to work, it's pointless to keep speaking to deaf ears, you can't bail out the ocean with a teaspoon. 
I just am so confused as to know when that time comes, when to say goodbye to everything I've put into it without obtaining what I wanted out of it and just cut my losses. Do I keep hoping, keep trying, keep believing that eventually it's going to happen or do I admit it's just hopeless. Hopeless is a terrible way to feel!  
Thanks for the advice.
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Plenty of times. With bad relationships, dead end jobs, my own self defeating attitudes. Sometimes, the only way to win is to surrender. Surrender the path and take another. Never give up there, Darlin'! You don't come across as a quitter.
See! You just told me to never give up after telling me to surrender the path and take another! Make up your friggen mind man!
I abhor quitting anything. "If at first you don't succeed, try try again" ya know? But there comes a point where you try your hardest and keep failing and you have to make the decision to throw in the towel. It's just not going to work, it's pointless to keep speaking to deaf ears, you can't bail out the ocean with a teaspoon.
I just am so confused as to know when that time comes, when to say goodbye to everything I've put into it without obtaining what I wanted out of it and just cut my losses. Do I keep hoping, keep trying, keep believing that eventually it's going to happen or do I admit it's just hopeless. Hopeless is a terrible way to feel!
Thanks for the advice.
Only YOU can decide on what to do. If you have talked this out and no one is really listening and it does not seem to have an effect on them...it is not hopeless. Maybe just walk away for awhile and see what happens. It might make a world of difference!! |
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WOW good topic. I will say this, I met someone 9000 miles away from me in New Zealand and he came here and I went there. We talked for over a year before meeting but when we met, we both knew it was right. When I left New Zealand, I had a ring on my finger to marry my Kiwi Man. I guess when you know enough is enough is...when it hurts both people. Love should never hurt and being that far apart and in different countries, it was impossible to be together. This just actually happened right after the 911 attacks, so that made things even harder. He was so confused and so hurt that we couldn't be together..he told his Mum not to write me anymore. We kept in contact for years, but then she said he asked her to stop because his heart was breaking. I told her that I understood and would always think of her and pray for her. It was just a sad situation all the way around. I actually had a chance to move there for my nursing and the rewards of moving there were wonderful. I didn't do it because I was afraid of running into him and maybe he had married. New Zealand is a beautiful country and I would have loved to move there and did my nursing BUT I would have risked seeing him. I think enough is enough when you know people are getting hurt from a love that just can not happen!!! Do I regret going to New Zealand..NO but I do regret that I didn't think things out before I went and he came here!
BUT ALL HEARTS MEND AND WE MOVE ON!!!
You did what you thought was best for both of you, even though it hurt to end things. It couldn't have been easy, and I thank you for sharing. Here's the dilemma for me. Some people say if you really love someone, then you stick it out, make it work, love knows no boundaries, yada yada yada. But as you pointed out, sometimes those boundaries can cause pain for both parties and you have to say enough is enough no matter how much it hurts. Perplexing to say the least. Also just wanted to express my sympathy for your battle with colon cancer. My Dad passed from it 3 years ago and I commend your bravery in not giving up in that fight! I think that's the one thing I just can't give up on...life! No matter how hopeless it may seem at times.
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It's not about admitting that what you want is unattainable, it's about finding out whether what (you think) you want is the right thing for you. Quite often you find that you were aiming for the wrong thing, but it takes time to see and understand this.
For instance, I started my own company, web-shop, in 2006. I had big plans, wanted to make my living out of it, grow big. I even started wholesaling, by popular demand. But after a real good start, sales didn't go up anymore and eventually started to dip, seriously dip. In the end I had to quit. I didn't get it, I was doing what I wanted to do, the absolute right thing for me, putting in time, energy and love. So why the h*** didn't it work out?? Looking back I now see that my own company wasn't really the right thing for me at all, even though at the time I was convinced it was. So I'm glad it went hay-wire, even though it upset me at the time. Often what we are trying to get, achieve, are merely lessons in life and not the real purpose, not the right thing for us. This also goes for relationships (both friendships and partner relationships). There was a reason why you got together and a reason why you split up. There's a lesson in there, once you've learnt the lesson, you can move on. That way you get closer to your real life's 'goal'. So yes, you should keep the faith, which doesn't mean you shouldn't be realistic! You gotta do/be both. Sometimes we're also looking for something too specific. For instance wish for the right partner and envision how he/she should be or look or where he/she should live. That way you could be asking/wishing for someone who's not the right one for you at all! So you will keep meeting the 'wrong' people. You can have faith you will one day win the lottery and get rich. But maybe you need to work (your *** off) to get rich and that one really good job is right there in front of you! You just fail to see it as you're focused on something else (the wrong thing). I've been frustrated about not being able to find a job. Angry even. Because of that anger and frustration I failed to realize that I needed time off. To learn and do things I wouldn't have been able to do if I'd had a job. Now I'm more relaxed, let go of those negative feelings and enjoy, use this time off to my benefit. In a way it's about the Law of Attraction: if you give up, become negative, feel let down etc., you won't attract positive things either. Letting go (of insecurity, fear etc.) is one of the most difficult things for us humans to do ... I mention the letting go, cos if you feel let down by fate, the Cosmos, you didn't really truly have faith. Then you've latched on to something, and you gotta let go of that something. |
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I envy people with faith. Its not that im not a believer in a higher purpose. Too many bad things happen too often to people who dont deserve it(me included recently). The people who dont deserve it are lavished with good fortune. The rich get rich the poor get poorer. People killing each other the world over. Chemical attacks, genocide, facisim, racisim, bigotry. People using god as an excuse to do all the afore mentioned.......im sure if god exists, this wasnt his grand plan. I have had to much happen to me, and seen to much crappy stuff (as im sure other people have) to believe it anymore. Im sure there are people who will argue that god leaves us to our own devices, to choose our own path. Why then did he speak to people at the time of Jesus, but not now, when all the worlds in such a bad place? Faiths just not a luxury my mind allows me to have, although I realy wish it was!! Just want to say at this point I respect everyones beliefs, and all the above is just me personaly. If anyone can change my mind about it all, Id be the happiest guy alive
Ah, I see you understand the battle that rages in my addled mind! I see the same things you do. I want to have faith that it's all going to be okay, but reality negates that belief. I feel there is little I can do to change things, for myself or for others. Seems like the things that should matter don't anymore, and the things that shouldn't matter matter. I feel like I'm living in opposite world and I don't know which way to turn. 
I have to keep the faith that I don't have. How the hell does that work? 
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I once used to purge, whenever I broke up with someone. The hurt of feeling heartbroken made me feel slightly angry, so I had this secret urge to make myself feel sick, to take my mind off the hurt. Because when you're physically unwell, you forget anything that may affect you mentally, as long as you're in enough pain, or feel quite pukey. I couldn't find a good enough reason to convince me to stop, until one morning, I got one of the harshest stomach pains I've never felt before. This pain was quite bad. I thought my binge eating was the cause. My dr warned me that if I don't stop, I coukd end up damaging my colon/bowel. He told me why there's a reason we get full, and should stop when we feel full. It was obviously pretty serious, so I knew it was bad. I had to snap out of it. I discovered comedy, and that's a much better healer, and probably a HEALTHIER one, too :) Thank yor for sharing this. I'm glad you got through the disease. Many aren't so fortunate, as you well know, and you should take comfort in the fact that you found the strength to overcome it. Perhaps the point I speak of finding is when our lives are in jeopardy, when we realize that what we are doing may put an end to us being able to live happily someday, which is what we all want ultimately I think. Then again, I think too damn much as you can see! I'm starting to wonder whether my brain's been smoking crack while I sleep without my knowledge! 
And yes, comedy! It may not be a cure but it's a damn good coping strategy and one that has helped carry me through many times. If I can try to find SOME humor, ANY humor in a situation, it's just so much easier to deal with no matter how hard it is. Laughter is truly one of the best medicines!
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I once used to purge, whenever I broke up with someone. The hurt of feeling heartbroken made me feel slightly angry, so I had this secret urge to make myself feel sick, to take my mind off the hurt. Because when you're physically unwell, you forget anything that may affect you mentally, as long as you're in enough pain, or feel quite pukey. I couldn't find a good enough reason to convince me to stop, until one morning, I got one of the harshest stomach pains I've never felt before. This pain was quite bad. I thought my binge eating was the cause. My dr warned me that if I don't stop, I coukd end up damaging my colon/bowel. He told me why there's a reason we get full, and should stop when we feel full. It was obviously pretty serious, so I knew it was bad. I had to snap out of it. I discovered comedy, and that's a much better healer, and probably a HEALTHIER one, too :) Purging will also ruin your teeth. I am happy that you found a much healthier way to snap out of a heartbreak. Trust me, you do not want to go through any colon problems..I had colon cancer and that was one of the worse surgeries I have ever had to go through!! Sorry to hear you had to go through that . I guess I just had it in for myself, so I was punishing myself. You know, the self-destruction phase. My family knew about it, by the way I changed my eating habits, e.g, not eating anymore while sat at the dining table with them. They noticed something was up. I was stupid. I know. How long did you have cancer for?
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I envy people with faith. Its not that im not a believer in a higher purpose. Too many bad things happen too often to people who dont deserve it(me included recently). The people who dont deserve it are lavished with good fortune. The rich get rich the poor get poorer. People killing each other the world over. Chemical attacks, genocide, facisim, racisim, bigotry. People using god as an excuse to do all the afore mentioned.......im sure if god exists, this wasnt his grand plan. I have had to much happen to me, and seen to much crappy stuff (as im sure other people have) to believe it anymore. Im sure there are people who will argue that god leaves us to our own devices, to choose our own path. Why then did he speak to people at the time of Jesus, but not now, when all the worlds in such a bad place? Faiths just not a luxury my mind allows me to have, although I realy wish it was!! Just want to say at this point I respect everyones beliefs, and all the above is just me personaly. If anyone can change my mind about it all, Id be the happiest guy alive
Ah, I see you understand the battle that rages in my addled mind! I see the same things you do. I want to have faith that it's all going to be okay, but reality negates that belief. I feel there is little I can do to change things, for myself or for others. Seems like the things that should matter don't anymore, and the things that shouldn't matter matter. I feel like I'm living in opposite world and I don't know which way to turn.
I have to keep the faith that I don't have. How the hell does that work?
Yeah, i understand it all! Unfortunatley im still looking for the answers myself
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They say God never gives you more than you can handle. They say keep the faith, never give up. They say winners never quit, and quitters never win. They say nothing's impossible. But isn't there a fine line somewhere between faith and reality? Isn't there a point at which you have to admit that what you want is unattainable and move on? How do you know when you've reached that point, when you've crossed that line? Whether it be in pursuing your dreams, or when evaluating your relationship with someone, or in anything that you strive to accomplish, what makes you say "I can't do this anymore, enough is enough already!"? Absolutely, in every aspect of life there comes a point of surrender....It's imperative to understand that surrender does not always mean failure, sometimes it means success and winning!....Like the song says, "You've got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em....Knowing is where faith comes in...Faith in yourself, faith in god, doesn't really matter.... "Know when to walk away, know when to run..." If you're a Kenny Rogers fan, you must know the song "The Greatest"?! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K3DI07Ibb4 Love this song, and it goes perfectly with the topic too! And with your belief that you have to keep the faith in yourself! Thanks for making me pull it out of the memory stores. I truly do believe that things happen for a reason. This confirms that for me. Much appreciated.
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I envy people with faith. Its not that im not a believer in a higher purpose. Too many bad things happen too often to people who dont deserve it(me included recently). The people who dont deserve it are lavished with good fortune. The rich get rich the poor get poorer. People killing each other the world over. Chemical attacks, genocide, facisim, racisim, bigotry. People using god as an excuse to do all the afore mentioned.......im sure if god exists, this wasnt his grand plan. I have had to much happen to me, and seen to much crappy stuff (as im sure other people have) to believe it anymore. Im sure there are people who will argue that god leaves us to our own devices, to choose our own path. Why then did he speak to people at the time of Jesus, but not now, when all the worlds in such a bad place? Faiths just not a luxury my mind allows me to have, although I realy wish it was!! Just want to say at this point I respect everyones beliefs, and all the above is just me personaly. If anyone can change my mind about it all, Id be the happiest guy alive
Ah, I see you understand the battle that rages in my addled mind! I see the same things you do. I want to have faith that it's all going to be okay, but reality negates that belief. I feel there is little I can do to change things, for myself or for others. Seems like the things that should matter don't anymore, and the things that shouldn't matter matter. I feel like I'm living in opposite world and I don't know which way to turn.
I have to keep the faith that I don't have. How the hell does that work?
Yeah, i understand it all! Unfortunatley im still looking for the answers myself
Well you're a big friggen help! 
JK. When you find the answers, please advise me of their location immediately. Inquiring minds want to know! Much obliged. Safe travels while you're out searching! 
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WOW good topic. I will say this, I met someone 9000 miles away from me in New Zealand and he came here and I went there. We talked for over a year before meeting but when we met, we both knew it was right. When I left New Zealand, I had a ring on my finger to marry my Kiwi Man. I guess when you know enough is enough is...when it hurts both people. Love should never hurt and being that far apart and in different countries, it was impossible to be together. This just actually happened right after the 911 attacks, so that made things even harder. He was so confused and so hurt that we couldn't be together..he told his Mum not to write me anymore. We kept in contact for years, but then she said he asked her to stop because his heart was breaking. I told her that I understood and would always think of her and pray for her. It was just a sad situation all the way around. I actually had a chance to move there for my nursing and the rewards of moving there were wonderful. I didn't do it because I was afraid of running into him and maybe he had married. New Zealand is a beautiful country and I would have loved to move there and did my nursing BUT I would have risked seeing him. I think enough is enough when you know people are getting hurt from a love that just can not happen!!! Do I regret going to New Zealand..NO but I do regret that I didn't think things out before I went and he came here!
BUT ALL HEARTS MEND AND WE MOVE ON!!!
You did what you thought was best for both of you, even though it hurt to end things. It couldn't have been easy, and I thank you for sharing. Here's the dilemma for me. Some people say if you really love someone, then you stick it out, make it work, love knows no boundaries, yada yada yada. But as you pointed out, sometimes those boundaries can cause pain for both parties and you have to say enough is enough no matter how much it hurts. Perplexing to say the least. Also just wanted to express my sympathy for your battle with colon cancer. My Dad passed from it 3 years ago and I commend your bravery in not giving up in that fight! I think that's the one thing I just can't give up on...life! No matter how hopeless it may seem at times.
First of all, I am sorry for the loss of your Dad. I also lost my Dad to cancer but it was stomach and bone...not easy losing the most important man in our lives!! BUT on the positive note, they now have no pain and now have perfect bodies again. Plus always remember we will see them again. I never said good bye to my Dad I always said UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, and that we will. Some times when you do love someone, you have to just step back. I know you suppose to do everything you can to make it work BUT if both people are not on the same page...you have to do what is best for you. Life is not hopeless my dear...you can either stay and fight IF you know in your heart it will help OR just take a break. It does not mean you are giving up it just means you are taking a break. IF you walk away from a man, usually that will wake them up faster then anything. Some times things are NOT meant to be, like in my case. You do move on...life does go on. I never felt hopeless...maybe lost. I just picked myself back up and gathered up my heart and moved on...that is how life is some times! Good luck in your decision!!!
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It's not about admitting that what you want is unattainable, it's about finding out whether what (you think) you want is the right thing for you. Quite often you find that you were aiming for the wrong thing, but it takes time to see and understand this. For instance, I started my own company, web-shop, in 2006. I had big plans, wanted to make my living out of it, grow big. I even started wholesaling, by popular demand. But after a real good start, sales didn't go up anymore and eventually started to dip, seriously dip. In the end I had to quit. I didn't get it, I was doing what I wanted to do, the absolute right thing for me, putting in time, energy and love. So why the h*** didn't it work out?? Looking back I now see that my own company wasn't really the right thing for me at all, even though at the time I was convinced it was. So I'm glad it went hay-wire, even though it upset me at the time. Often what we are trying to get, achieve, are merely lessons in life and not the real purpose, not the right thing for us. This also goes for relationships (both friendships and partner relationships). There was a reason why you got together and a reason why you split up. There's a lesson in there, once you've learnt the lesson, you can move on. That way you get closer to your real life's 'goal'. So yes, you should keep the faith, which doesn't mean you shouldn't be realistic! You gotta do/be both. Sometimes we're also looking for something too specific. For instance wish for the right partner and envision how he/she should be or look or where he/she should live. That way you could be asking/wishing for someone who's not the right one for you at all! So you will keep meeting the 'wrong' people. You can have faith you will one day win the lottery and get rich. But maybe you need to work (your *** off) to get rich and that one really good job is right there in front of you! You just fail to see it as you're focused on something else (the wrong thing). I've been frustrated about not being able to find a job. Angry even. Because of that anger and frustration I failed to realize that I needed time off. To learn and do things I wouldn't have been able to do if I'd had a job. Now I'm more relaxed, let go of those negative feelings and enjoy, use this time off to my benefit. In a way it's about the Law of Attraction: if you give up, become negative, feel let down etc., you won't attract positive things either. Letting go (of insecurity, fear etc.) is one of the most difficult things for us humans to do ... I mention the letting go, cos if you feel let down by fate, the Cosmos, you didn't really truly have faith. Then you've latched on to something, and you gotta let go of that something. Very wise words!
Reminds me of a joke... Woman prays to God every night "Lord, please let me hit the lottery. Amen!" She does this night after night without fail, yet she doesn't hit the lottery. Finally one night she says angrily "Lord, why do you not hear my words? You want me to have faith in you but yet you don't answer my prayers. I don't understand." Suddenly the woman hears a booming voice from above that says "Help me out woman. Buy a damn lottery ticket!".
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