More entertaining than a bunch of scarfs from a clowns butt right ?


GIGGITTY GIGGITTY !
...
Allll R I G H T...

Giggitty !

I'm thinking.....



If i could just touch the tip of my nose.....

The Easterner
The eastern lady who was all ready to take a horseback ride said to the cowboy, "Can you get me a nice gentle pony?" "Shore," said the cowboy. "What kind of a saddle do you want, English or western?" "What's the difference?" asked the lady. "The western saddle has a horn on it," said the cowboy. "If the traffic is so thick here in the mountains that I need a horn on my saddle, I don't believe I want to ride."



Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged?

Because Cowboys eat with their hats on

The Rancher and the Lawyer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in western Montana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a pasture on the other side of the fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, a crusty old rancher rode up and asked him what he was doing.

The attorney responded, "I shot a duck. It fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old rancher retorted, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States, and if you don't let me have that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old rancher smiled and said, "Apparently you don't know how we settle disputes in Montana. We settle small disagreements with the 'Three Kicks Rule'."

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kicks Rule'?"

The rancher replied, "Well, because the dispute is occuring on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times, then you kick me three times, and so on back and forth until one of us gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and figured he could easily take the old geezer. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old rancher slowly climbed down from his horse and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his cowboy boot right into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick, to the belly, doubled the lawyer over, gagging for air.

The lawyer was on hands and knees when the rancher's third kick, to his rump, sent him face first into a fresh cow patty.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his willpower and managed to struggle to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket he said, "Okay, you old fool. Now it's my turn."

The old rancher grinned and answered, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck!"

TEXAS RANCHER

A Texas rancher and his wife were arguing while touring Paris. They were hardly speaking to each other after being seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.

When the waiter arrived, the rancher said, "I'll have a
BIG THICK PORTERHOUSE STEAK."

The waiter replied, "Monsieur, what about Ze Mad Cow?"

He said, "She'll have a salad."

I'm not a bad boy really....
...SOME bad boys just piss me off !

A cowboy from Texas goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?

The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

Pop Rocks Mix - 80's KROQ & PoP Classics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_jpBvqdmgs

Well i guess there is little question who MY ***** is now huh ?