Hey Mo !

STROKE ME
STROKE ME .....

WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU LOOKING AT ?



I'M A FIREMAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD !

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says
"Error. Not long enough."

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father,
�Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?��
The father, surprised, answers,
��Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.
In her 20s, a woman�s breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit.

After 50, they are like onions.��
��Onions?�� the son asks.
��Yes. You see them and they make you cry.

This infuriated his wife and daughter.
The daughter asks, ��Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?��
The mother smiles and says, Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it��s like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it��s like a Christmas tree.��
��A Christmas tree?�� the daughter asks.
�Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.��

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better.
Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!”
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true,
And runs home crying.
A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face.
She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.
When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.
The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental.
He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner.
so that night, she does just that.
About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says,
Doc, the pill worked great!
I put it in the potatoes like you said!
It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!
The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong!"
The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.
"Nah," she says, "that's okay.
We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous.
While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves.
The patient says no.
The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry.
She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs.
The doctor says, "What's so funny?"
She says, "I'm imagining how they make condoms."

Drunk People Fail Compilation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyIfddrgrkM

I'm definitely thinking it is time ...