Cowboy did you know that cows all turn their butts the same way to the wind ?

YEP !

That's why i always count their heads



MOOOOOOOOO !

Cowboy you ever get tired of beating your head against the wall in social sites ?

Well sir
Some folks like to complain if others they don't "Like"
Post in "Their" threads
My only complaint is when they DON'T !



HELLOOOOOOOOOO !



KiK

Thank you for reading Ms !
And WELCOME to Mingle2
Many nice folks in here
And i hope you will have fun !


KiK

Why thanks for the warm welcome...and belly laughs

A Good Etiquette Guide For Rednecks

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table... no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
By NetLooker

Internet source:


KiK

Big Feet

A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had on the biggest boots she'd ever seen! The woman asked the cowboy, "Is it true what they say about men with big feet?"
The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady! Why don't ya come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
The woman replied, "Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."

Jeff Foxworthy pokes fun at Colorado.....

1. You switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in one day.
2. You know what the 'Peoples Republic of Boulder' means.
3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.
4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.
5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane.
6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.
7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.
8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.
11. You know all 4 seasons 'almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards
12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.
13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
14 You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.
17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.
18 You have surge protectors on every outlet.
19. April showers bring May blizzards.
20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.
21. You know what a 'Chinook' is
22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.
23 You know what a 'fourteener' is.
24. .But you don't know what a 'turn signal' is.
25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.
26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.
27. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.
28. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
29. Thunder has set off your car alarm.
30. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.
31. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
32. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!
33. You know where the real 'South Park' is.
34. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.
35. Driving directions usually include 'Go over_________ Pass.'
36. You've 'checked for ticks.
37. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood.
38. You've gone snow skiing in July and.........
39. You've played golf in January and.......
40. They were in the same year!
41. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans.
42. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is.
43. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both down stream.
44. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your Colorado friends.

Ever read a thread and think to yourself
Well...That wasn't funny at all...

Hear about the gay cowboy?

Rode into town and shot up the sheriff"

What do u call aman with a car on his head.....Jack"!

That is funny......

That is funny......

What do u call a man with a spade in his foot......doug lol

Haha funny!!

what do u call a man without a spade in his foot? doug-less lol