1 3 5 6 7 8 9 12 13
Topic: Gay/Bi/Lesbian Choice?
msharmony's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:14 AM





My brother is gay, he fought his gayness most of his life. He married a woman & he did the 'right thing' for years. I knew he was gay before he did. From toddler years it was obvious he was different. If choice was true, he would choose not to be gay.



choice is true, but its hard to deny our flesh what it wants,,,


Sounds like he tried choosing not to be gay and it didn't work. I've heard stories like that before. I just don't buy that it's a choice everyone makes.


I know obese people who have TRIED not to be obese too, but it didnt work. and I dont think most OBESE people chose to be obese.

I do think, however, that food symbolized something else for them in their personal life journey and they learned to ASSOCIATE it with the good feelings that they have hard time restricting themself from.

They have to eat, being human, and they like the foods they like (that they didnt 'choose' to like) in the quantities they like.


THey can learn the root cause of why their flesh craves what it craves though and work to find something else to fulfill whatever initiates that reaction. They can even learn to enjoy the healthy foods they may otherwise just 'not be able to eat'.





Your comparison here doesn't work well.





its an odd comparison only because unlike EATING we dont individually all HAVE to have sexual partners to survive

otherwise, the sentiment is the same

we eat the things we 'like', even though we havent chosen our likes

we have sex with who we 'like' or 'love, even though we havent chosen to like or love those people


we affirm mentally and emotionally our likes and dislikes every time we partake in them until to us they become a REALITY/unalterable FACT

no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:16 AM
Why care if someone doesn't like who you are? flowerforyou. They do not get to choose what you will do for the rest of your life. It's all up to you how you live it. Society can think they get to dictate all they want, but trying to control someone else is pretty damn silly, imo. Society are not in charge of the law, so that's enough proof that they don't own you. You owe nobody nothing. Some people just need a reality check and see that you are what you are.

GreenEyes48's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:18 AM

I guess what it comes down to is that if it's a choice, those who choose this preference can be judged for their choice. Whereas, if it's not a choice, they cannot be judged.

Seems to me the problem here is those who do the judging.
I agree with you.

msharmony's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:18 AM


thats what I mean. here in a thread where several people hetero and homo are stating it isnt a choice, and ALL homosexuals are stating they didnt choose it

me making the assessment about the consensus I am viewing is met with CYNICISM and an accusation that I am trying to be an 'expert'


last time i heard you were bi.


and?

that describes my flesh

yes, I am attracted to either gender. BUT I also know that attraction isnt the whole equation.

as someone else put it 'love' matters.

so , because I also realize LOVE is not gender specific, and that sexual satisfaction is more a factor of someone knowing my body enough to stimulate it,,,,I realize I can be in love and sexually fulfilled with EITHER gender.

my choice of lifestyle is heterosexual, because I have no REASON, with the above understandings , to choose a homosexual lifestyle.






no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:20 AM
I think some people who argue that it's a choice are looking for a way to justify discriminating against gay people.

msharmony's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:20 AM
Edited by msharmony on Fri 08/31/12 10:22 AM

Why care if someone doesn't like who you are? flowerforyou. They do not get to choose what you will do for the rest of your life. It's all up to you how you live it. Society can think they get to dictate all they want, but trying to control someone else is pretty damn silly, imo. Society are not in charge of the law, so that's enough proof that they don't own you. You owe nobody nothing. Some people just need a reality check and see that you are what you are.



tell that to the people on mingle who verbally annihilated a member after finding out who he 'was' was a pedophile. EVen though he had not hurt ANYONE in ages and he made an explicit effort to make sure no women with children contacted him.


they seem to judge his INCLINATION, even though he wasnt even acting upon it.

I doubt their hatred and discrimination would change even if it was proven pedophilic DESIRES (Cause desires are the issue , behavior is always a choice) were genetic.

I dont hate or discriminate individuals. I only have opinions about BEHAVIOR.

msharmony's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:21 AM

I think some people who argue that it's a choice are looking for a way to justify discriminating against gay people.


some people probably are


no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:22 AM

and?

that describes my flesh

yes, I am attracted to either gender. BUT I also know that attraction isnt the whole equation.

as someone else put it 'love' matters.

so , because I also realize LOVE is not gender specific, and that sexual satisfaction is more a factor of someone knowing my body enough to stimulate it,,,,I realize I can be in love and sexually fulfilled with EITHER gender.

my choice of lifestyle is heterosexual, because I have no REASON, with the above understandings , to choose a homosexual lifestyle.


i said the expert would be hetero.
you are not hetero.
go ahead and keep yourself in a bubble.

msharmony's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:25 AM


and?

that describes my flesh

yes, I am attracted to either gender. BUT I also know that attraction isnt the whole equation.

as someone else put it 'love' matters.

so , because I also realize LOVE is not gender specific, and that sexual satisfaction is more a factor of someone knowing my body enough to stimulate it,,,,I realize I can be in love and sexually fulfilled with EITHER gender.

my choice of lifestyle is heterosexual, because I have no REASON, with the above understandings , to choose a homosexual lifestyle.


i said the expert would be hetero.
you are not hetero.
go ahead and keep yourself in a bubble.


you quoted MY post when you said it

logic dictated that the statement was directed at and tried to refer to me


sexual labels aer tricky, sometimes they are used to refer to attraction and other times to lifestyle

in this thread , I am referring to lifestyle,,,

Ladywind7's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:26 AM

I think some people who argue that it's a choice are looking for a way to justify discriminating against gay people.
I agree. The irony is they say they dont judge. Stating gayness is a choice is a judgement.

msharmony's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:31 AM


I think some people who argue that it's a choice are looking for a way to justify discriminating against gay people.
I agree. The irony is they say they dont judge. Stating gayness is a choice is a judgement.



dont judge PEOPLE

but we hav a brain to interpret(ie judge) behaviors,,,,

no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:33 AM


Why care if someone doesn't like who you are? flowerforyou. They do not get to choose what you will do for the rest of your life. It's all up to you how you live it. Society can think they get to dictate all they want, but trying to control someone else is pretty damn silly, imo. Society are not in charge of the law, so that's enough proof that they don't own you. You owe nobody nothing. Some people just need a reality check and see that you are what you are.



tell that to the people on mingle who verbally annihilated a member after finding out who he 'was' was a pedophile. EVen though he had not hurt ANYONE in ages and he made an explicit effort to make sure no women with children contacted him.


they seem to judge his INCLINATION, even though he wasnt even acting upon it.

I doubt their hatred and discrimination would change even if it was proven pedophilic DESIRES (Cause desires are the issue , behavior is always a choice) were genetic.

I dont hate or discriminate individuals. I only have opinions about BEHAVIOR.


Did you really expect people to act differently toward a convicted pedophile? Not sure why this is in a thread talking about gay people, though, as there is absolutely no comparison.

msharmony's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:37 AM



Why care if someone doesn't like who you are? flowerforyou. They do not get to choose what you will do for the rest of your life. It's all up to you how you live it. Society can think they get to dictate all they want, but trying to control someone else is pretty damn silly, imo. Society are not in charge of the law, so that's enough proof that they don't own you. You owe nobody nothing. Some people just need a reality check and see that you are what you are.



tell that to the people on mingle who verbally annihilated a member after finding out who he 'was' was a pedophile. EVen though he had not hurt ANYONE in ages and he made an explicit effort to make sure no women with children contacted him.


they seem to judge his INCLINATION, even though he wasnt even acting upon it.

I doubt their hatred and discrimination would change even if it was proven pedophilic DESIRES (Cause desires are the issue , behavior is always a choice) were genetic.

I dont hate or discriminate individuals. I only have opinions about BEHAVIOR.


Did you really expect people to act differently toward a convicted pedophile? Not sure why this is in a thread talking about gay people, though, as there is absolutely no comparison.



not wanting there to be a comparison doesnt make it not a comparison

if the debate is an absence of CHOICE and not judging those with no CHOICE

pedohpilia is a perfect example of double standard when applying that particular philosophy..



no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:38 AM

you quoted MY post when you said it

logic dictated that the statement was directed at and tried to refer to me


sexual labels aer tricky, sometimes they are used to refer to attraction and other times to lifestyle

in this thread , I am referring to lifestyle,,,


sexual attraction doesn't affect lifestyle?
you're in a bubble,
so that's you, dear.

no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:39 AM
Edited by Rawrr_Girl on Fri 08/31/12 10:42 AM
tell that to the people on mingle who verbally annihilated a member after finding out who he 'was' was a pedophile. EVen though he had not hurt ANYONE in ages and he made an explicit effort to make sure no women with children contacted him.


they seem to judge his INCLINATION, even though he wasnt even acting upon it.
I'm confused. Paedophilia is indeed a crime. However being gay or bi is not.


no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:40 AM



and?

that describes my flesh

yes, I am attracted to either gender. BUT I also know that attraction isnt the whole equation.

as someone else put it 'love' matters.

so , because I also realize LOVE is not gender specific, and that sexual satisfaction is more a factor of someone knowing my body enough to stimulate it,,,,I realize I can be in love and sexually fulfilled with EITHER gender.

my choice of lifestyle is heterosexual, because I have no REASON, with the above understandings , to choose a homosexual lifestyle.


i said the expert would be hetero.
you are not hetero.
go ahead and keep yourself in a bubble.


you quoted MY post when you said it

logic dictated that the statement was directed at and tried to refer to me


sexual labels aer tricky, sometimes they are used to refer to attraction and other times to lifestyle

in this thread , I am referring to lifestyle,,,


I don't think they're all that tricky. I think what's tricky is the way people try to analyze things. Sometimes it's much more simple than you try to make it.

no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:40 AM



I think some people who argue that it's a choice are looking for a way to justify discriminating against gay people.
I agree. The irony is they say they dont judge. Stating gayness is a choice is a judgement.



dont judge PEOPLE

but we hav a brain to interpret(ie judge) behaviors,,,,


Saying they just judge behavior is an excuse. They're still judging the person.

no photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:41 AM




Why care if someone doesn't like who you are? flowerforyou. They do not get to choose what you will do for the rest of your life. It's all up to you how you live it. Society can think they get to dictate all they want, but trying to control someone else is pretty damn silly, imo. Society are not in charge of the law, so that's enough proof that they don't own you. You owe nobody nothing. Some people just need a reality check and see that you are what you are.



tell that to the people on mingle who verbally annihilated a member after finding out who he 'was' was a pedophile. EVen though he had not hurt ANYONE in ages and he made an explicit effort to make sure no women with children contacted him.


they seem to judge his INCLINATION, even though he wasnt even acting upon it.

I doubt their hatred and discrimination would change even if it was proven pedophilic DESIRES (Cause desires are the issue , behavior is always a choice) were genetic.

I dont hate or discriminate individuals. I only have opinions about BEHAVIOR.


Did you really expect people to act differently toward a convicted pedophile? Not sure why this is in a thread talking about gay people, though, as there is absolutely no comparison.



not wanting there to be a comparison doesnt make it not a comparison

if the debate is an absence of CHOICE and not judging those with no CHOICE

pedohpilia is a perfect example of double standard when applying that particular philosophy..





No, there is no comparison. You're trying to force one.

Ladywind7's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:44 AM
Actually noone knows for sure what the child sex offender was up to on Mingle. One thing we do know is he was decietful and red flags fly when anyone is decietful about anything.

msharmony's photo
Fri 08/31/12 10:48 AM

tell that to the people on mingle who verbally annihilated a member after finding out who he 'was' was a pedophile. EVen though he had not hurt ANYONE in ages and he made an explicit effort to make sure no women with children contacted him.


they seem to judge his INCLINATION, even though he wasnt even acting upon it.
I'm confused. Paedophilia is indeed a crime. However being gay or bi is not.





no, pedophilic ACTIVITY is a crime, we dont yet incarcerate people for how they 'feel' but on what they 'do'


pedophiles have often proclaimed they didnt choose their inclination

yet people expect them to abstain from this 'inherent' attraction

the past is the past and cant be undone
this person had done a crime and done the time for it and most other CRIMES That one had served their time for would be considered in their past if they had cleaned up their act

(I see this all the time in the employment arena actually, when people have networks anyhow)

yet, a pedophile, who had no CHOICE in what drove them into their crime will be permanently judged and outcast by society and NEVER FORGIVEN

that seems like a double standard,, not hated for his crime, not given any opportunity to ever fully be forgiven for his crime like other criminals

but permanently LABELED and OUTCAST And hated for acting upon feelings he did not CHOOSE to have


sounds exactly the same as accusing those who are saying homosexual activity is a choice are 'judging' people,,,,,

whether pedophilia(the inclination) is a choice or not, pedophiles have their behavior judged


1 3 5 6 7 8 9 12 13