So here's a summary...

My niece and nephew were raised by my mami, step dad, and myself. They are good kids, but naturally i want them to be better.

Recently my teenage niece (yes the dreaded TEEN ...ew) was talking about how she dislikes this girl at school cause this girl did something to her and my niece was talking about how she'd get her back and that her and her friends basically make her life hell at school because they don't like her. At her age i didn't want to hear anything an adult had to tell me...especially if they were trying to tell me how to live my life and that i shouldn't be a certain way. Im sure you've all caught on that i am totally against bullying or anything remotely close to it, i've tried to tell her that even though this chick has wronged her that she shouldn't kick people when they are down and she damn sure shouldn't make fun of or try to hurt this chick (emotionally) and she shouldn't promote her friends to do so either. I know that it is going through one ear and out the other because i'm just the 'adult who doesn't understand' How do i get through to her so that she truly listens. I know she listens to me...but thats only to an extent. I don't want her to be an ******* basically...i want her to know that even if people are hateful and do mean things to you you should never stoop to their level nor should you kick people when they are already down. What can i say aside from the obvious for her to actually listen?

Ugh...stinkin teenagers.

Peer pressue is so powerful that there isn't really that much you can say, but teens learn how behave by observing adults who are close to them, not merely their peers. Just set a good example and keep your fingers crossed.

Well...i think teenagers are a completely different species when it comes to the human race in general. Sooo..i was just thinking there has to be a way to get through to them...even if they are miniature pod people.

Actually I would tell her that IF this didn't stop..YOU were going to go speak to the principal and have her butt pulled in along with all of the people involved. The schools around here will NOT put up with any kind of bullying at all. You have to be the adult in this situation because kids are really immature and stupid when it comes to this kind of stuff, so to show her how a mature person handles it...give her a big decision that she has to make. EITHER STOP THE CRAP OR YOU ALL WILL BE TALKING IN FRONT OF A LOT OF PEOPLE TOGETHER AND COMING TO AN AGREEMENT REAL FAST!!! GROW UP GIRLS~NOW!!

That is a good idea. I haven't taken it to that level only because i was allowing my niece the chance to go through her "emotions" The girl apparently did something to my niece that hurt her feelings so i figured she was just venting but i don't want her to stoop the the girls level nor do i want her bullying her just because of something silly. Thats not acceptable no matter what the situation so...i think i may tell her this that though, that is a good idea.

I have 4 teenagers. I think that if you have a good relationship with her you should be able to talk about it.
it is never acceptable to hurt someones feelings, and regardless of What the other girl did you niece needs to pull herself up, in the long run she wont help herself or the other girl by being mean.
If I have a problem with one of my children, we talk and then if they didn't take any notice there would be some sort of consequences for their behavour.
Can you get the two girls to talk together and fix it, that's waht we do here in the schools if any of the kids have a problem with someone else, that way they can work throught the problem and learn how to fix it.

We have a decent relationship...We can talk about a lot of things but when it comes to giving advice that isn't really appealing to a kid she tends to do the kid thing and listen but not really listen. Honestly i'm not a huge fan of getting the school involved unless absolutely necessary because sometimes that can make things worse....you know how kids are. But i think i am going to keep trying to talk to her and if she does anything to "get back at" the chick again then i will tell her we'll ALL be having a meeting with the principal.

Speak from the heart to her. She's going to do what SHE chooses regardless, but she may listen to what you have to say and take it to heart and choose to do the right thing.

Don't try to tell her what to do so much, but guide her towards the correct path by showing her how it's wrong to hurt others and why she shouldn't harm the other girl. I'm sure she already knows, just needs a gentle reminder from a caring loved one. :)

A gentle reminder....i'll try. If that doesn't work...I'm just going to scratch her eyes out.

Just keep in mind you want to guide her, not control her.

Does that mean i can't scratch her eyes out?

Then how would she see the error of her ways?

Your soo not any fun.

;)

hey sweets honestly shes eithere gonna do it or not and if you tell her not to do it it will make a teen want to do it even more just for defiance you know the nanananan i did it any way senarioi.
now you have had a talk with her so all i can really say id believe in her to do the right thing. i believe she has all three of your great vallues your family and she has the deffenition of right and wront in her concionse. she will be put in a sittuation and she will come out the stronger party because she will most likely walk away other wise i say go meet the girls mom. we have all had that klick baack in the day that put people down to make themselves feel better
so just believe in your teen to do the right thing.

wow, you have left things a bit late.

Teenagers are in the process of becoming adults, so learning from their parents is naturally much less of a priority to them.

They are becoming more independant, whatever they turn out to be like is your fault, not theirs.

Not really. Many serial killers have come from loving and stable homes.

You don't really know that, people will tell you anything to cover their flaws.

My mum would tell you how loving our family is. What she wouldn't tell you is how we are almost killing each other every day. So don't go believing everything you here tots ;)

Don't go blaming others for things that are not their fault. That was just one example. How one turns out is not a reflection of their parents or how they were raised.

Well, I'm exactly the way my parents have raised me.

I remember what you said on a different topic. You said 'children only output, what we input into them' :)